Wednesday, December 31, 2003

"Deck us all with Boston Charlie ..."

Hey! Remember me?

Three weeks since I updated here. Hardly even checked my e-mail, so much was going on. There's probably no way I can give a decent recap, so I won't even try. I'll just pick up from here and move on. Fresh starts and all that.

I will tell you this: The last month was THE most stressful month in my almost-45 years. It was impossible to pretend that things were alright, so you have to feel sorry for my holiday houseguests. My Christmas wish was that things would never be that bad ever again.

It was so very good to see my family, but at the same time I was worried about how they must be feeling so uncomfortable with all the stress in the house.

My Christmas gifts (in no particular order):
*down comforter and duvet from my mom
*Nautica cologne, "About Schmidt" dvd, and "Adaptation" dvd from Laura and Melody
*Cup o' drug rep pens, a pretty candle, and a candle holder from Kay
*A framed senior picture of Beth from Beth and Kay
*3 pretty wineglasses (for the 3 Sisters!) and a small winerack from Josh
*Pretty candle holder with good-smelling tealights from Beth*Elton John cd (all his hits!), a dvd set with 3 classic musicals: "Gigi", "An American In Paris" and "My Fair Lady", and pretty coasters from Adam and Brandy
*Blue drinking glasses, a sweet card, and a beautiful framed picture of herself from Emilie
*A big ole box o' money from Jimmy (I have no idea what to spend it on ... leave your suggestion in the "Comments", if you please.)


Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. That's right. 25 years ago this afternoon ... I was skinny. Waaaaaa!

There will be no celebration ... Jimmy is in Puerto Rico.

However, I will be spending an hour or so this afternoon at a family counseling session. Emilie has been getting some intensive therapy through a "partial hospitalization" over her Christmas break. And today is the day that I get to go in and try really hard not to sob loudly and embarrass the hell out of her.

How I pray that she will find some help and some healing through this program she's in.


So that's about it. I'm extremely happy to see 2003 out the back door. What a bitch she was.

If you go out tonight, be so very careful of the drunk people careening down the roads, will you?

Happy New Year to you and yours. God bless us, everyone.


Outside My House Today:
High: 58
Low: 28

Sunday, December 14, 2003

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch ..."

Short hello for this drippy, cold Thursday ...

Today was my yearly check-up ... the doctor very wisely pronounced me "just fine". So there.

Mother and I shopped all afternoon ... 'twas freezing out there but it added to the Christmas feeling.

Also, in case you were wondering ... the job on Tuesday went well! The lady is from New England, and quite the character. I drove her to her lawyer's office so that she could cut her son out of her will (ha!), she treated me to lunch at a Chinese restaurant, we visited the mall, and she did a bit of grocery shopping, and at 5:30 PM I dropped her off at her home. She talked almost constantly, so there was little for me to do except drive the car and listen. I'll go back on Tuesday ... I think she has a salon appointment for a perm. Whoo hoo!

Sleepy already. Please take good care of yourselves. :-)


Outside My House Today:

High: 35

Low: 31

Icy, rainy, and quite miserably cold!

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

"You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel ..."

Trip on, trip off. Trip on, trip off. (sigh)

Emilie and I were lured into looking forward to a trip to Puerto Rico after Christmas, and then the Off And On Game began. Jimmy's boss encouraged everyone to have their families join them for part of the holidays, since they will be working so hard they will only be home for a few days. So the planning began. Only flights are hard to come by at this time of year, and timing is everything. I thought that he had given up, and decided we'd just do a trip somewhere fun at a later time ... but tonight he tells me that he's still trying to get us down there for a week.Trip off, trip on!I had already decided that, if the trip was off, Emilie and I would take off on a road trip to Charleston ... maybe Savannah ... and surrounding areas and do some exploring together. Might be even more fun to do that.


(The dash key is working again.)


The heater repair guy came to see us today, since the heater blower got noticeably louder yesterday. He videotaped what he found in the basement ... MOLD ... all over the outside of the unit, plus almost totally clogging the air duct thing. It was horrible. $500 horrible for him to clean the damn thing. And that's only a temporary fix. We'll have to get a new heat pump/air conditioner in the spring ... as well as put down a total moisture barrier in the basement. To the tune of $7,000. Merry Christmas!

Oh, and after all that, the blower is still louder. He said the mold growth probably warped the fan blade, and that's why it sounds louder now. Yeah.


I went out shopping today ... alone! Yay!


Cooked a nice dinner for Mother and me tonight ... only she feels a little "blah". (sigh, again) I'll be working most of the day tomorrow, so her mood might even be "blah-er" by tomorrow night. Have a holly jolly Christmas!


And she needs a hearing aid. :-(


Outside My House Today:
High: 58
Low: 42
Rain, rain, rain

Monday, December 08, 2003

"You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch ..."

Another day of running around town for me and my Mom. We ate lunch out at Fuddruckers, and accomplished quite a lot. Yay, us.

Next project is figuring out how to install the printer on a working computer so that I can print out my little Christmas letter to include with the cards I'm sending. Wish me luck.

Praying that will actually come through for me and send everything before Christmas Eve. I ordered it all on November 30th, and I swear I can't understand why they can't get it all here within a couple of weeks. Grrr.

I hope everybody is doing alright ... and that Clemson exams are going well! :)

(My "dash" key has stopped working!)

Outside My House Today:
High: 56
Low: 27

Saturday, December 06, 2003

"You really are a heel ..."

We are officially decorated for Christmas at the castle. Today Mother and I pulled out the rest of the boxes of Christmas crap and threw it around everywhere, we hung the wreath, and put the icicle lights out on the deck. We still have a good deal of mess laying around ... hopefully we'll find a place for everything before Christmas day.

I did a lot of wrapping yesterday ... no bows yet, but wrapped. I'm still waiting on several orders to arrive.

Brandy's coming by later to watch the Clemson/USC basketball game with us ... I'm thinking that dinner will be pizza delivery. Easy.

The candles I bought at Pier One smell WONDERFUL!


Outside My House Today:
High: 45
Low: 31
Sunny and windy

Monday, December 01, 2003

"I'm just bein' honest ..."

OK, that's the last reference I'll make to the ever-popular "Hey Ya" song. Sadly, it's getting old to me.


Dayummmm, I was gone a long time! And nobody even missed me. Oh well.Let's see ... when we last visited, the Clemson - USC game was about to be played. Happy, THRILLED!... to report that Clemson ate gamecock for dinner that Saturday night. Clemson - 63USC - 17Oh yeah. That's SIXTY three points. I'm figgering it was a disgruntled gamecock fan that STOLE my tiger paw mailbox flag after the game. Grrr. Anyway, Clemson is headed to the Peach Bowl in Atlanta on January 2nd. And I think that's GREAT!


Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving. Ours was ... small. We had good food, and we all took a nap in the afternoon though. (Well, everybody except my Mom.)We were among the insane who went shopping on the day after. Wasn't too bad. I got my last paycheck from the closeout place. And spent half of it in there. Heh.


Speaking of jobs, I'm "working" again. I got a call today from C0mf0rt K33pers ... they offered me a client who wants someone to drive her to do errands and out to lunch on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'll start tomorrow, so hopefully things will go well.


Thanks to the kids, the tree is up already. Mother and I have decided to wait until the weekend to finish the house decorations. We shopped today, and combined with what I did online yesterday, I'm well on my way to being finished. Of course, Amazon's delivery may screw up everything. I figure we have the next 2 weeks to shop, then Emilie will be home and having her wisdom teeth removed. (Awww!) That 3rd week of December, we'll stay close to home and get the baking and candy-making done. Ta-dah! Sounds like a plan.


Well, that's all I've got, considering I'm so far behind in updating here ... I'll be back soon, I promise.


Outside My House Today:
High: 69
Low: 36

Friday, November 21, 2003

"Swing swing swing from the tangles of my heart ..."

Oh my God! They killed Rupert! You bastards!

I miss him already. At first, I loved him because he reminded me of Hagrid, or Bluto ... "Arrr!" Later on, I loved his incredible ego trip. He was simply the most entertaining Survivor ever. But I was disappointed by his self-pitying final words. I was hoping he would go out with dignity; or if not, that he would crush Jon's head between his beefy, pirate hands after his torch was snuffed. Hopefully he'll reappear on the next Survivor with the rest of the "all stars".

Speaking of Jon ... oh, how I long to smack his crooked teeth right out of his smirking mouth. I hate his stupid wrestling sayings and his lazy, sneaky ways. The sight of his idiot smile when Rupert was voted out caused steam from my ears. Gahhhh! I can't stand him.

AND ... that snake and lizard scene went on FAR too long. It almost made me cry. I was fully expecting to dream about it last night. *shiver*


So I didn't dream about the snake eating the still-alive lizard. Instead I tossed and turned while visions of Michael Jackson's mugshot danced in my head. Nooooooooo!


Friday Five

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
1. Have a warm family Christmas with everyone feeling contented and happy to be together
2. Lose 20 pounds (chuh-right)
3. Organize the home videos
4. Stress-free Christmas shopping
5. Strip and re-paint the front door (before the Christmas decorations go up!)

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
1. Leslie White (Adams) (We're "semi" in touch, but I wish it could be like it used to be.)
2. Sheridan Foreman
3. Marie Cope
4. Trina Smith
5. Linda Fehl

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
1. Knit
2. Quilt
3. Play the piano
4. Lay tile
5. Swim

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
1. Pay off all the bills and student loans
2. Build an incredible lakefront house on a huge piece of land
3. Build houses on the same land for the whole family (to live in full-time or to use as vacation places ... their choice)
4. Start a computer/drum/counseling/animal rescue/washer repair business, so that my husband and kids could do what they want to all day long
5. Hire a maid! ;-)

5. List five things you do that help you relax.
1. Watch TV
2. Read
3. Listen to Pachelbel's Canon in D or Josh Groban or Sarah McLachlan or Andrea Bocelli or Allison Kraus or Natalie Merchant or Diana Krall or or or
4. Take a shower
5. Call one of my sisters


Heading off in the morning, destination: Atlanta, to meet Laura and Melody. They are bringing my Mother with them, and I'll bring her home with me for the holidays. :-) She keeps me motivated.


The 101st game between Clemson and the University of South Carolina Damncocks happens in Columbia tomorrow night; 7:00 PM; ESPN2. Be there, or be left out entirely. GO TIGERS!


Oh yeah, I'm no longer an overworked, underpaid B1g L0ts employee. I guess you never really thought that one would last either, did you?

Please do not use me as your role model for "work ethic", OK? Thanks.


Enjoy your weekend ... and if you're in the neighborhood Saturday night, come cheer for the Tigers with me and my Mama!


A die-hard USC fan and a die-hard Clemson fan are waiting to be executed. The executioner asks the Gamecock fan for his last request.

"Hmmm", he says, then requests to hear the USC fight song one more time.

"OK", says the executioner and turns to the Clemson fan and asks the same question: "What is your last request?"

Without hesitation the Clemson fan says, "Shoot me first!"


Outside My House Today:
High: 72
Low: 42


Thought For Today:
"I cheer for TWO teams : Clemson ... & whoever's playin' USC."


Had to come back here this afternoon and add the joke Adam sent me in e-mail today! ...

Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, a Clemson fan, a South Carolina fan, a Tennessee fan and a Georgia fan.
They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Tennessee fan proclaimed to the other three "This is for the Volunteers!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice screaming "Rocky Top" as he fell to his death.

Not to be out done by the Tennessee fan, the Georgia fan jumped up and shouted "This is for the DAWGS" and threw himself off the mountain barking "Woof...woof, woof, woof, woof!" as he crashed on the rocks below.

Refusing to be out done by the Tennessee and Georgia fans, the Clemson fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This is for the CLEMSON TIGERS!" and without any hesitation, pushed the South Carolina fan off the mountain shouting "Fly now, Gamecock!"


I just got back from the grocery store. I bought Corona Light and limes for tomorrow evening's bratwurst dinner. Planned to buy the DVD about the rivalry between Clemson and USC, but it was sold out at that particular store. Wondering now whether it might be worth checking out a few more stores.

First I have to make "Clemson Caviar" so it can sit in the fridge overnight before we eat it with our Fritos tomorrow. ;-)


Wednesday, November 19, 2003

"It's my life, don't you forget ..."

Well. I worked today with a sore arm and numb fingers. They called us all together at lunchtime to make a "We're In The Home Stretch" speech. We were told that, starting tomorrow, we would be working 12-hour shifts ... including Saturday, possibly Sunday. Anyone who has a problem with the schedule should "hit the door". Cashier training will be Monday and Tuesday of next week, for 8 hours a day. Then we're expected to put in 4 hours at the new store. Grand Opening is set for the day before Thanksgiving.

I have to say that "discouraged" is putting it mildly. I know how I feel after 10 hours on my feet, and it makes me cry like a baby to imagine 12 hours. All afternoon, my head was full of all kinds of thoughts and ideas. And I honestly don't know what the hell. :-(

I'm so damn tired of dealing with the inability to make money AND keep a semi-happy mindset at the same time. There must be something wrong with me.

Of course, most of the people I work with are thrilled at the idea of 12-hour-days ... they work to pay their rent and buy cigarettes. At $6.50 an hour, it just feels like insanity to me. Why am I knocking myself out for a chance to work for this crappy company?

Maybe the company I worked with before B1g L0ts will find me another old person to take care of. They still consider me an employee ... I told them I was unavailable to work through the holidays. Don't know why I did that ... I guess just in case this job sucked really bad. Anyway, all it would take is a phone call and they'd put me back active. I can't even tell you how much I hate all of this.

Ahhh ... cry me a river, right?


Q: Why do USC alumni keep their diplomas on their dash boards?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.

Q: How do you keep a a Gamecock busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

A drunk stood on a table at a noisy bar.
"Listen up, y'all," he shouted. "I want to tell a Carolina joke." Immediately, a man -- a big man, a 6-foot-5, 270-pound man -- got to his feet.
"Buddy, let me warn you", he told the drunk. "I played football at Carolina."
"No problem", said the drunk. "I plan to tell it real slow."


Outside My House Today:
High: 69
Low: 57
Rainy and windy


Thought For Today:
"You might be a Gamecock if:
Your elective foreign language in college was English."

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

"So why you, why you, why you, why you, why you ..."

As completely exhausted as I am tonight ... and I am, completely exhausted ... I can't help but perk up a bit when I hear that "Hey Ya" song, which I love so much that I ... must ... shake it like a Polaroid pic-cha! SHAKE IT! SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE IT! Ahem.

Oh Lord, my kids are both rolling their eyes as they read that. Heh.


I hurt myself at work today ... my elbow bent the wrong way when I was trying to lift something far too heavy, far too high. Duh. Nobody cared much. But it made me cry ... more out of being too tired than anything else. And I was really trying hard NOT to cry at work. I stayed an hour and a half longer than I said I was. Duh again. THAT won't be happening tomorrow. 8 hours, maybe 8-and-a-half ... then I'm out of there.

I'm thinking that if the cashier training doesn't happen soon, I won't be able to hang in there. This physical crap is killing me. :-(


Already getting fired up for this weekend's game between Clemson and University of South Carolina. In preparation, I think I'll share a few jokes that Adam sent to me in e-mail.

Q: What do you have if three Gamecocks are buried up to their necks in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: What does an average Gamecock football player get on his SATs?
A: Drool.

Q. What do you call a Gamecock in a 3 piece suit?
A. The defendant.

Q: How many USC freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - it's a sophomore course.

Haha ... more tomorrow. :-)


Outside My House Today:
High: 73
Low: 56


Thought For Today:
"You might be a Gamecock if:
Your Gamecock vanity plates were made by your ex-roommate."

Monday, November 17, 2003

"Where are you going, with your long face pulling down? ..."

I was on my feet for 10 hours today. I can't even express how glad I will be when the store finally opens. The gave us the option of leaving after 10 hours, or staying for 12 hours ... you know I was out the door lickety split.

My friend, the banker lady, was offered a promotion today. I was really happy for her. She'll be a "Customer Service Specialist", and hopefully she'll get a raise too. But that means that we won't be working together anymore until after the store opens. :-(


Jimmy is safe and sound in Puerto Rico, after a very fast pitstop at home this weekend.


Lawd, I'm tired. Hope you're all doing well ... keep in touch!


Outside My House Today:
High: 68
Low: 60
Gray and misty


Thought For Today:
"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." (Sir Winston Churchill)

Saturday, November 15, 2003

"Let's rewrite an ending that fits ..."

7 AM - Woke up,in spite of intentions to "sleep in"

9 AM - Called my mother, made plans to bring her here for Thanksgiving ... probably will drive down to get her a week from today

11 AM - Called Kay, griped at her about not letting me know they weren't coming here for Thanksgiving ... will miss her and the kids very much

Noonish - Started cleaning bathrooms

1 PM - Listened to the Clemson/Duke game on the radio ... final score: Clemson - 40, Duke - 7 ...oh yeah

3 PM - The cleaning goes on and on ... clean sheets, clean floors, clean toilets

5 PM - Talked to Laura on the phone ... crossing my fingers she gets her promotion next week

6 PM - Surprise visit by Emilie and Judd ... they were in town shopping, and caught me in all my cleaning crud ...didn't care because I was so happy to see her :-)

Now it's time for a quick shower before picking Jimmy up from the airport at 8. He's heading out tomorrow afternoon for Puerto Rico.


Outside My House Today:
High: 60
Low: 43


Thought For Today:
"Indecision is my only flaw, I think ..."

Friday, November 14, 2003

"What would you say? ..."

Ahhhh ... Two days ahead of me to recover from The Week That Was. And to prepare for The Week To Come. They warned us today to plan on at least 10-hour-days next week.

I think one of the things I will "do for myself" with my paycheck is to have a manicure after the store finally opens. My nails have never looked so bad.


Friday Five

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space. Quiet

2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer. Reasonable, Funny

3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime. Relaxing, Lazy, Stress-reducing

4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day. Achey, Dirty, Busy, Underpaid

5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life. Fulfilled, Happy, Healthy, Funny, Long


"Survivor" ... I hope Rupert can continue to win immunity since they're already gunning for him. And shame on Darrah and Tijuana for voting against Ryan.


Clemson plays Duke tomorrow in Death Valley ... as far as I can tell, there is no TV coverage. Another afternoon in front of the radio for me. Adam and Brandy are going to the game, haven't heard if Emilie plans to or not.

Go Tigers!


Time to start the relaxing ... I'll check in tomorrow to let you know how it's going. :-)


Outside My House Today:
High: 59
Low: 37 ("Freeze Warning", my butt)


Thought For Today:

Thursday, November 13, 2003

"Mine is not the first heart broken, my eyes are not the first to cry ..."

Better today, thanks.

I think I tried really hard to pace myself so that I wouldn't be out of steam by 1 PM. And being encouraged by my daughter didn't hurt either. :-) (Thanks, Emilie.)

There was still plenty of moving things around ... today it was millions of glittery Christmas ornaments. The managers just couldn't make up their little minds where they wanted them. Grrr.

Oh yeah, tomorrow's Friday. That always helps.


Adam came by for a quick moment this evening to pick up his bongos, on his way to a friend's house to rehearse with the same friend's band. He couldn't help but comment on the mountain of leaves one must plow through to get to our front door. It's pretty funny. If I leave them until Jimmy gets home again, they'll be waist-deep.

Anyway, was nice to hug my kid. As always. :-)


How 'bout this weather? I think our neighbor's tree was blown down today ... when I came home from work, it was lying across the road. I'm assuming they didn't cut it down and let it fall that way. Just glad it wasn't one of ours.


"Survivor" tonight ... hoping it's Jon the Weasel's night to go. Sad to think that, sooner or later, we'll be watching Rupert's torch go out.


I think that's about all I've got for today. Sleep tight.


Outside My House Today:
High: 68 (around 4 AM)
Low: 45 (right now)
B-b-b-blustery! ... with a freeze warning for tonight


Thought For Today:
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

"She works hard for the money ..."

You came to the right place if you're in the mood to listen to some complaining.

I'm tired. No, really ... so very tired. The heavy shelves, the boxes that eat my cuticles, the rugs that weigh more than I do ... oh, and I almost forgot the walking. The never-ending walking. We put things on the shelves, only to be told an hour later that the shelves are 3 inches too high and everything needs to be redone. We unload trucks and price every single piece of merchandise at breakneck speed, only to be told that we need to be faster. We're told we can go home "when the work is done". It's all completely demoralizing.

It seems that everyone there is feeling quite discouraged and worked to death. I feel so sorry for the tiny lady that hangs out with me ... her 53rd birthday is Friday, and due to a divorce and some crazy bad luck, she is working at B1g L0ts after spending 18 years as an assistant bank manager. She says she couldn't find work in any Greenville bank! Today we both admitted to each other that we go home and cry every day after work. At least I'm not alone.

I keep telling myself that it will all be over soon ... the store is supposed to open on Nov. 24th. Although I overheard the district manager today saying he doubted that we'd be ready. If they'd hire some people who KNOW how to set a store up, I bet it'd be done a whole lot faster.

I just don't know how many more days of this I have in me.

As Laura likes to say, "Call 1-800-WaaWaaWaa-WaaWaaWaaWaa."


Love you guys. :-)


Outside My House Today:
High: 71
Low: 39
Sunny and breezy

Monday, November 10, 2003

"If I could turn back time ..."

Yes, it was the best weekend I've had in a long while. Sunday wasn't so hot, but Saturday more than made up for it.

Friday improved when we were able to leave work just before 2PM. I shopped for tailgating supplies, helped Brandy get her car from the shop, and baked some brownies. Laura arrived about 10PM, and we opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate seeing each other again. I probably talked her left ear off before we went to bed.

Saturday morning, we got moving and actually left for Clemson a little ahead of schedule. We were able to visit with Emilie and her roommates for about an hour ... very enjoyable. Loved seeing the pictures from Em's 21st birthday party!

We were on campus just before noon ... with nothing ahead but lots of yakking, cocktails, snacks, and people-watching for several hours. Brandy and Adam were fun companions, as usual. We pondered the wisdom of buying a couple of $45 tickets, but decided that since there was NO CHANCE of Clemson beating Florida State, we'd rather just sit under the night sky and listen to the game on the radio. It'd give us more time together, too. We're so smart!

The kids all left for the game by 6:30, and by 8:30 Laura and I were wondering whether we had made a bad decision by letting those tickets go. After all, Clemson had already scored 2 field goals! By half-time it was obvious that the Tigers were dominating the game, and it was also just as obvious that Laura and Dawn were dumbasses for not buying those tickets. D'oh!

Long story short ... a miracle occurred on Saturday night in Clemson, SC. Ranked 3rd in the nation, the Florida State Seminoles lost to the Clemson Tigers!

Clemson - 26
Florida St. - 10

*huge smile* So very exciting, and so very wonderful! It made for a late night, but was worth every minute of it.

Laura left just after noon on Sunday, and I watched Lifetime movies all afternoon. Zzzz.


Two truckloads were unloaded, priced, and shelved at work today. Most of us were sent home early (2:30 instead of 4:30), and you know that was alright with me.


And now the laundry awaits. Y'all have a good night tonight, and a beautiful Tuesday, will you?


Outside My House Today:
High: 57
Low: 37


Thought For Today:
"Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't no love at all" (Toni Morrison)

Thursday, November 06, 2003

"Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe me somethin' ..."

So tired. Feet hurt.

Hair looks like crap. Hands look like crap. The weather is crap. Managers are crap.

At least it's time for "Survivor".

And tomorrow's FRIDAY! :-)


Outside My House Today:
High: 81
Low: 69
Pouring rain on the way to work, then cloudy


Thought For Today:
"Every problem has a gift for you in its hands." (Richard Bach)

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

"I get knocked down, but I get up again ..."

Whoa baby. I spent this entire day building that heavy-ass Sauder furniture --- microwave carts, bookshelves, etc. I had no idea I'd spend the day in the furniture warehouse, but that's the way it turned out. There were about 6 of us, all women. We hefted boxes, stacked tables, chairs, and bed frames. I'm insanely tired and achey now, and hoping that I get to stick price tags on toilet paper tomorrow.


I dreamed last night that I ate half my cell phone. I was talking on it ... but taking bites, chewing, and swallowing the bottom half of the phone the entire time. In my dream, I realized that I had ruined it only after half the phone was gone. Sheesh. No wonder I'm fat.


Have y'all watched that MTV show on Tuesday nights after "The Real World"? It's called "Rich Girls". The cameras follow Tommy Hilfiger's teenage daughter Ally and her best friend, Jaime, as they go about the business of being 17, filthy rich, and SO very spoiled.

There. Are. No. Words. Rich people who are THAT rich ... well, they're just crazy as loons. They wipe their butts with dollar bills. And they need serious therapy.

Makes me miss Nick and Jessica.


Outside My House Today:
High: 79
Low: 67
Partly cloudy, and humid as hell


Thought For Today:
"If you hold on tight to what you think is your thing, you may find you're missing all the rest. (Dave Matthews Band)

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

"Turn around and you’re tiny, turn around and you’re grown ..."

Time doesn't simply fly. Time climbs into the cockpit of a supersonic jetplane ... and when you're not paying attention, it flies at five times the speed of sound. I'm never more aware of that fact than when another "My Baby's Birthday" rolls around.

Especially when it's one of the big birthdays, like this one is.

All I know is this -- one minute you're trying to squeeze a wiggly toddler into her footie pajamas ... the next minute, you're watching her build a Science Fair solar cooker out of a cardboard box and plastic wrap ... the next minute, you're wishing her a Happy 21st Birthday from 50 miles away.

And that's what I'm doing today. Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, Emilie Elizabeth ... I'm wishing you a happy 21st Birthday. And a healthy 21st Birthday, and a safe and peaceful 21st Birthday, and a memorable 21st birthday, and (most importantly) a 21st Birthday filled with people telling you how wonderful and special and incredibly precious you are.

Beginning with your Mom.

I love you baby girl. Always.


Thought For Today:

Where are you going my little one, little one
Where are you going my baby, my own
Turn around and you’re two, turn around and you’re four
Turn around and you’re a young girl going out of the door

Where are you going my little one, little one
Dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone
Turn around and you’re tiny, turn around and you’re grown
Turn around and you’re a young wife with babes of your own

Monday, November 03, 2003

"I go crazy ..."

Monday. Exhausted.

Jimmy was leaving on a jetplane by 5:30 AM, and I was at work at 7 AM. They had precious little for us to do today, so we had to spend hours "looking busy", which was a load of crap. The trucks won't arrive with merchandise until Wednesday morning, so they offered a day off tomorrow to all who were willing to work on Saturday instead. No way, Jose. I gots tailgating planned on Saturday.

So anyway, I guess tomorrow will be spent "looking busy" again ... probably a lot of cleaning bathrooms and the like. Cross your fingers that they will send us home early. Wednesday's gonna be a bitch.


We had a few trick-or-treaters on Friday night ... most were scared away by our fanatical neighbors down in the cul-de-sac. They blasted Christian rock and preaching from sundown until after 9 PM. I wonder how many souls they saved. Grrrrr.


Saturday, my mother-in-law visited for 2 hours ... after hitching a ride up here with a trucker friend.

So that was fun. :-/


And we're not even going to discuss the Clemson/Wake Forest game. We're not.


Sunday, Jimmy and I drove down to Clemson to hug our almost-birthday girl and take her to lunch. Don't know about the two of them, but I enjoyed every minute of it. We gave Em her birthday goodies, such as they were ... and bought her a few items of Clemson apparel from the shops downtown. (Cute hat!)


I've been going to bed SO early ... this manual labor crap really tires this old fat lady OUT. I'll probably watch "All My Children" at 8:00 on SoapNet tonight, and it'll be lights out right after that. Zzzzz.


So excited about the coming weekend ... Laura and Melody are driving up from GA to spend Saturday at the Clemson/Florida State game with me and the kids. Hopefully they'll arrive Friday night ... fun will be had by all! :-)


OK, I'm in need of soap and shampoo. See you tomorrow.


Outside My House Today:
High: 79
Low: 49
(Meteorologist John Cessarich promises that this WILL be changing soon ... thank ya Jesus. November should be "crisp".)


Thought For Today:
"Stay tuned. I could say something brilliant at any moment."

Thursday, October 30, 2003

"Someday I'll fly, someday I'll soar ..."

The pumpkin seeds are roasting as I type this. Only I think I may have had the oven temp too high, because as I gave them a stir they seemed a bit blackened already. Whatevah.

I carved a very very cool jack-o-lantern this afternoon ... he looks like a skeleton face. I also hung a ghost from the tree by my front door, and threw some very old spider webs(found in my old box o' Halloween stuff) all around the front door. BOO!

Last weekend I caught the newest "Halloween" movie ... "H20" ... with Josh Hartnett playing Laurie Strode's son. Loved it. Loved the first "Halloween" movie even more. To me, that Michael Myers music is even creepier than "Tubular Bells". Skeeery!


Brandy is coming to watch Survivor with me tonight, and since she's had a bad cold thing going all week, I decided to make a pot of chicken noodle goodness for her. I'll begin the chopping very soon.

Jimmy is also coming in tonight ... earlier than usual. I'm going to set the VCR just in case the ride from the airport interrupts my Rupert Time.

I've had a super nice day off from work ... made even nicer by the manager's phone call telling me to come in at noon tomorrow, instead of the ungodly 7 AM. Whoo hoo! Apparently there was a delay in the "deadly fumes" in the store today, so we get to start later tomorrow. Oh yeah.


Time to chop the veggies. Carry on.


Outside My House:
High: 71
Low: 40
(That is NOT Halloween weather.)


Thought For Today:
Laurie Strode: "Was that the boogyman?"
Dr. Loomis: "As a matter of fact... it was!"

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

"Hey Britney ..."

So yeah, I changed jobs again. It occured to me, after speaking with Adam on the phone yesterday, that I had neglected to update my ever-changing job status with all the important people in my life. Some knew, some didn't. No offense. :-)

Last week, I was invited to attend a job orientation with B1g L0ts ... and I accepted. The other job, which was supposed to be so fulfilling emotionally since I was "helping people" was really nothing more than "Maid". And hell, I've done that for 25 years. Nothing against being a maid, it's an honest day's work for many ... just wasn't for moi, ya see.

The manager at BL said that the first 2 or 3 weeks on the job would be backbreaking, sweaty, and miserable since we'd be "building" the store. I started at 7 AM on Monday, and he was not lying. We started with a completely empty space of (my estimate) 60,000 sq. ft. The first day there was much talk like "Are you sure that's not too heavy for you? ... Let's get the guys to lift these, ladies." On Tuesday that flew out the window. We start the minute we hit the door, have two measly 15-minute breaks, and one half-hour lunch break. Parts of my body scream, others go numb. But I'll be damned if I don't keep on going. I'm lifting and placing heavy metal shelves, I'm painting, I'm pinching the beejesus out of my fingers ... I'm sort of surprising myself. I didn't know I had it in me. Still though, by the time I pull into my garage around 4 PM, it's all I can do to get out of the car.

We have tomorrow off since toxic fumes are scheduled, but I'll be back on Friday. That's if my legs and feet cooperate.

Today I had to stifle a smirky laugh when the District Manager, during our end-of-day pep talk, said, "This is going to be a classy, top of the line B1g L0ts! The talk of Greenville!"

I'm thinking it was the paint fumes ... poor man.


Still haven't carved that silly jack-o-lantern. I guess it'll get done sometime tomorrow. Or not.


Adam wrote me an e-mail to tell me that I'm getting an Outkast CD for Christmas. And all I've got to say to that is: "Woohooo!" :-)

Love to both my kiddos ... thinking of you so often you wouldn't believe it.


Outside My House Today:
High: 71
Low: 47


Thought For Today:
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." (Johnny Carson)

Saturday, October 25, 2003

"Hey ya ..."

Today was Football Day at my house. And I was all alone too. Lucky for me, the game was so exciting I hardly noticed.

Clemson - 36
North Carolina - 28

Hate that the defense gave up so many rushing yards, but now my heart belongs to Derrick Hamilton. He took a kickoff return and ran with it. I'm talking the whole field. Touchdown. 100 yards. Awesome! I'm glowing orange. :-)


Daylight Saving Time ends tonight. I love the feeling of setting the clocks back one hour. Feels like "free time".


Never got around to carving my jack-o-lantern today ... maybe tomorrow. So, what have you been up to?


Outside My House:
High: 67
Low: 43
Sunny, with clouds increasing in the afternoon


Thought For Today:
"C-L-E-M-S-O-N T-I-G-E-Rrrr-S!"

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

"It's been a bad day, please don't take our picture ..."

For over a year now, I use the Internet while sitting in my comfy chair, with my feet propped up on an ottoman, with a laptop computer on ... you guessed it, my lap. My sister Laura let me use her laptop after I whined like a 2-year-old about not getting one for Christmas. At the time, she had a desktop computer, and this thing was just gathering dust. Since then, I have used almost all the life this poor little Hewlett Packard had in it. I tripped over a cord one night, and broke something in the plug thingee ... and now the power cord is taped into the back. And the battery is deader than a doornail, so it has to be plugged in at all times.

Sister Laura lost her desktop in a lightening strike several months ago, and has had the good manners never to ask for this one back. And I've had the bad manners to never offer it. Yeah, I'm ashamed. One of the reasons is, I was mortified that I had broken the darn thing, and didn't want her find out. I guess I was thinking that one day soon, the laptop fairy would leave TWO new laptops under my pillow ... one for me and one for her.

Well anyway, yesterday as I was reading some e-mail, I heard a new and strange clicking noise from deep within this old, battered laptop. And we all know that's never going to turn out to be a good thing. I'm thinking that, very soon now, I'll be updating this journal from upstairs at the computer desk, instead of my comfy chair. Easy come, easy go.

I do hope Laura still loves me.


Stolen from someone else's journal ... because I can't think of anything to write about:

A - Act your age: I'm 44, but I feel at least 20 years younger (at least in my head)

B - Boyfriend: Haven't had one of those since 1976

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning bathrooms

D - Dad's name: Chuck

E - Essential make up item: Lipstick

F - Favorite actor: John Travolta / Tom Hanks (it's a tie)

G - Gold or silver: Gold, it's outdated and so am I

H – Height: 5’10"

I - Instruments you play: A little piano, but 30 years ago I could play the flute, the oboe, and the bassoon

J - Job title: Housewife / Job Changer

K – Kids: Two, and have I mentioned how much I adore them?

L - Living arrangements: A gray 2-story house in South Carolina, with my traveling husband and our slightly unstable kitty cat

M - Mom's name: Mary Frances

N - Number of people you've slept with: I guess this means SLEPT with ... so my answer is one

O - Overnight hospital stays: Around 6, I think ... 2 breast episodes (plus a zillion hospital visits so various strangers could stare at my boobs that weren't overnight), 2 childbirths, 1 ankle surgery, and 1 week-long gallbladder nightmare

P - Phobia: I have issues with snakes, deep water, clowns, and midgets.

Q - Quote you like: "Too soon old, too late smart." (my daddy)

R - Religious affiliation: I was raised in the Lutheran Church, but I now I am in a constant state of wondering. I pray to God. And I hope I'm heard.

S - Siblings: 2 sisters, 1 half-brother and 1 half-sister

T - Time you wake up: Lately it's around 8:30, because I tend to stay awake later when I'm in the house alone.

U - Unique habit: Dreaming of the day I'm not fat anymore, but doing nothing to get myself there

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: Brussel sprouts ... I was forced to eat them when I was a kid, and manoman, just the memory makes me gag.

W - Worst habit: Carbohydrates

X - X-rays you've had: ankle (broken), foot (kicked the refrigerator), chest (to make sure I'm not a walking TB bomb), digestive system (to find out why I was in pain and throwing up), mammograms, and teeth

Y - Yummy food you make: Chicken soup, carrot cake, turkey dressing, scrambled egg sandwiches

Z - Zodiac Sign: Aries, the hard-headed ram


Outside My House:
High: 76
Low: 54


Thought For Today:
"Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving."

Sunday, October 19, 2003

"You should never have to bury your own babies ..."

Quiet Sunday.

Emilie is home with me for a long weekend ... Fall Break at Clemson. We ran a couple of errands yesterday afternoon, and rented some movies. We had a late bite to eat at California Dreaming, and came home to change into PJ's and watch Saturday Night Live. She's had a stressful time of it lately, and well ... so have I. We both were ready for bed pretty quick.


The funeral yesterday, and the events leading up to it, have been in my thoughts almost constantly. I think it may very well be the saddest thing I've ever seen ... her casket being wheeled out of the chapel, followed by her mom and her older sister, holding onto each other with tears streaming down their faces. Her father walked behind them, with his mother by his side ... all of them looking as though they'd never smile again. I can't imagine how they will find the strength to make it through the coming days and months. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Her 21st birthday. Today.

I hope I never forget this feeling I have of being incredibly lucky and blessed. Nothing can compare to the pain of losing a child. My heart breaks for every parent who has lived through it.


Don't know what today has in store ... I just hope there are some smiles involved.


Outside My House:
High: 75
Low: 48


Thought For Today:
"Time it was and what a time it was it was...
a time of innocence, a time of confidences
long ago it must be
I have a photograph, preserve your memories
its all that's left you." (Simon & Garfunkel)

Friday, October 17, 2003

"Hold on to yourself, for this is gonna hurt like hell ..."

Friday Five

1. Name five things in your refrigerator. milk, teeth-whitening gel, apples, leftover baked beans, and a huge chunk o' cheddar

2. Name five things in your freezer. popcorn shrimp, black bananas, bread, brats, chicken

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. new sponge, Electrosol 2in1 Tabs, garbage can, Clorox Disenfecting Wipes, Ajax Dishwashing Liquid

4. Name five things around your computer. Right this moment: TV remote, my purse, calendar, a pen, a phone book

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. Nyquil, Excedrin Migraine, Benadryl, thermometer, old prescriptions


Well, that silly Friday Five suited me just fine. No brain work. This week has been about as crappy as a week should have the nerve to be. No details today though, because I'm drained. Truly. I promise I'll record the details for posterity's sake a few days from now.


Jimmy is flying in this afternoon for a 24-hour-stay, due to some of this week's stress. We have a funeral to attend tomorrow. I can't even express in words how sick it makes me feel to order flowers for the funeral service of a 20-year-old young woman. Senseless is what it is. I think we can all agree that the sudden death of young person can put all the trivial problems in our lives in fast and proper perspective.

As much as I worry and cry and want things to be different in my Emilie's life ... she's alive. She's here in this world and I can talk to her and see her anytime I feel like it. No matter how much I miss having Adam upstairs every day, he's still a phone call away. I can still tell both my kids how much I love them.

Melissa's family can't.

My husband and I are both feeling quite shell-shocked ... the daughter of his friend and co-worker, and a high-school classmate of Emilie's ... this one hits very close to home. As close to home as I hope it ever gets.


Thought For Today:
"Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away from the finiteness of life. It's that terrible precision that we hate so much. But because we don't know, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." (Paul Bowles, The Sheltering Sky)

Monday, October 13, 2003

"Is there anyone out there?..."

Yikes, it's early. I just drove Jimmy to the airport for his Monday morning flight west. He won't be back home until Halloween. Neither of us slept well last night. I watched an old Dracula movie last night, and turned the TV off a little past 11 PM ...finally fell asleep around 1:30 AM. I woke around 3 AM, then heard his alarm at 4:30. Been awake since then. He said he kept waking, worried that he'd sleep through the alarm and miss his flight. Ugh.


The weekend flew by, but was fun.

Saturday, we went down to Clemson early. The rain was coming down, as it usually is on tailgating days. Kickoff was at noon, and by that time, the rain was gone. The clouds hung around, and the breezes were cool, but after all was said and done, the day was a good one for football. Clemson won in overtime against 25th-ranked Virginia! The final score was 30-27 ... whoo hoo!

Sunday was spent doing laundry (me) and mowing grass (him). I made some pumpkin muffins that I forgot to make for tailgating. Yeah, that day was pretty boring.


This morning I will be at my new job at 8 AM. I haven't talked this one to death, because frankly I'm tired of all my job drama. I decided to quit CVS and go with this one because it feels more in line with my personalty, and it's going to allow me to feel like I'm "making a difference" in someone's life. Also it pays a few nickles more than CVS did.

Anyway, I'm employed by a company that contracts with mostly elderly people who need in-home, non-medical care. The clients I will be working with are a married couple who need help with meal preparation and getting dressed. They want someone 5 mornings a week ... so I'll be there every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Of course, today I'm nervous. Hopefully they will be kind and adorable, and happy to have me in their home. *sigh*


I won't comment too much on last week's "Survivor", since Brandy hasn't seen it yet ... but damn, I'm starting to believe Rupert could be a tribe all by himself! And he'd STILL win all the challenges.


I just saw a news snippet on a new drug used in the treatment of OCD. The brand name was Topamax, I think. This afternoon, I'll be looking for more info on that.


Better go put my face on so I can be out the door in an hour. Hope all of you have a really good Monday.

Thought For Today:
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

Thursday, October 09, 2003

"I wished I could have stood where you would have been proud ..."

Have you heard the new Dixie Chicks' song "Top Of The World"? It stops me in my tracks every time I hear it played. I think they are so very talented. Oh, and just so you know ... I think Natalie Maines has the right to say whatever the hell she wants to say. If her words hurt your conservative ears so much that you can't bear to ever listen to her incredibly talented voice ever again ... well, you're a dumbass.

Tomorrow, they are performing in Charlotte with The Indigo Girls. And y'all know how I feel about those Indigo Girls. I'll just stay home and play my cd's, I guess.

So that song ... "Top Of The World" ... when I hear it, I sit very still and try to figure out just what I'm feeling. I think it has a lot to do with wondering "what if" and then feeling lots of regret. And then I feel really sad because the feeling of "I caused it" surfaces. "It" meaning every problem my children will ever have to deal with.

Hard to explain, but lately I've been wondering what I could have done differently so that my daughter could have gone through high school and college without the burden of her mental illness. Sometimes I cry and beg God to make me sick ... so that she can be well. He's not listening.

'Cause everyone's singing
We just wanna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world right now
To the top of the world


I guess I'm in one of those moods today. I feel useless and sad, like there's nothing to look forward to and my job is pointless, and hell, no one likes me. The rational side of me (which is a tiny little freckle on my pinky toe) whispers that I need an anti-depressant, but it's hard to hear it from that far away. Plus I've never really liked that toe anyway.


Plan For Today:

Vacuum the living room and the foyer
Clean the kitchen floor
Put clean sheets on the bed
Pay bills
Meet with new employer at 2 PM
Go see Bubba the Cat
Watch Survivor
Pick Jimmy up at the airport


New employer, you ask? Why yes, thank you. More later, after I get the details.


If Bubba the Cat doesn't come out from under Brandy's bed today, well ... there's not much I can do. Brandy's been in Arizona all week, and I've been visiting Bubba every day to make sure he's OK. Only he's very good at ignoring me. Even when I showed up with a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. The good part is that I know he's coming out when I'm not there, since the litter box is used, and he's eating and drinking. I must be very scary.


Big Survivor Rumor:

I heard that the first few people voted out -- like the first six or so (the "pre-jury" folks, if you will) -- are being kept on a third island, under only slightly better conditions. At some point in the near future they will have a competition and the winner will get to rejoin the game even though they have been voted out.


If it's true, I'll scream with glee. If it's not true, I'll continue to be the freak who has such a boring life that she believes Big Survivor Rumors.


Thought For Today:
"Embrace this moment. Remember. We are eternal. All this pain is an illusion." (Tool) Thanks Adam, for the correct lyrics.:-)

Monday, October 06, 2003

"Could you look me in the eye and tell me that you're happy now? ..."

Aww. Green Day is singing "Good Riddance" on my TV right now, and guess who I'm thinking of? ((((((Emilie)))))) <-- That was a big ole hug from your Mama. I hope it makes you happy to know that, for time and forever, when I hear a Green Day song I will think of my lovely daughter. :-)

In other music news, I'm so glad to see REM again. Michael Stipe is cooler than most.

Also, I want Justin Timberlake for Christmas.


The Weekend Report:

Adam and Brandy came over to watch the Clemson-Maryland game with me. Maryland won, 21 to 7. And I learned about some freaky college football rule where if the player gets run out of bounds, he can actually run back in to catch the ball and make a touchdown. Sounds fishy to me, does it to you?

After that, we ate some brats I bought at Sam's Club. Won't be doing that again, since these brats shrunk to half their original size during the cooking process. Brandy had lots to do in preparation for her trip to Arizona this week, so they left after our meal.

I was looking forward to the season premier of "Saturday Night Live" because, well ... I have no life, and I love SNL like that. Jack Black was the host, and JOHN MAYER (who whom I adore) was going to sing twice. I got my pj's on, and settled back into my pillows and featherbed to enjoy the festivities. When Jack introduced John, I heard the opening chords to "Bigger Than My Body" (my new favorite song) ... and I passed out. I'm not kidding you, I was snoring before John the cutie even sang the first chorus. I think we'll file that under "How To Determine If You're Elderly". Maybe I can catch it during the reruns. :-(

Next Saturday, I will be napping ALL day if I have to ... Justin Timberlake is host AND musical guest. What a guy. Oh wait, I can't be napping all day next Saturday. We're making plans to tailgate at the Clemson game next week. Oh well, I'll set the damn VCR if I have to. Aging bites, in case you were wondering.

Sunday was quiet. I bought the paper and read every word. I watched "About Schmidt" with Jack Nicholson. Liked it pretty much, even though it made me even more depressed about aging.


Cloudy skies all day today ... I can't believe it's the 2nd week of October. I saw several houses already decorated for Halloween. I love Halloween, and I've bought a new cd to play out an upstairs window this year ... all spooky sounds like chains rattling and scary moans, knives being sharpened and spooky footsteps. Bwa-hahahaha!

After saying that I love it, I have to admit I have a few negative feelings about this controversial holiday. It's unsafe for little ones to be running around in a cumbersome flammable costume, with both hands busy with flashlight, Reese's Pieces, and plastic bucket. There are freaks out there! People can't drive! AAY-EEEEE! Children who appear to be 15 years old come to my door with dingy pillowcases held out and demand candy in voices that changed years ago. I swear to God this is true ... a few years back, I opened the door to a couple of teenage boys, and one of them opened his long coat to show me his stuff. Yeah, THAT stuff. Like I hadn't seen anything like that before. Kids today. Hell, I ought to just hand out cigarettes.

But every year, at least one teeny tiny little girl comes to the door dressed as a fairy princess and I about burst into tears. Yeah, I love Halloween.

Every October, I always wish we lived in a house that was scary looking. I'd love to live in a big Victorian for Halloween, with cobwebs draped on all the trees and shrubs. I'd also love to live in a day and age that I could give out real food, like cupcakes and caramel apples and popcorn balls. The paranoia of today ruins every bit of my fun. Sigh.


Thought For Today:
"The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open."

Friday, October 03, 2003

"Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else ..."

I had to be at work at 8 AM today. And at 6:30 AM, the temperature in my bedroom was hovering somewhere near 55 degrees. Lord. I thought about shutting the windows last night, but apparently that wasn't enough. It's no fun shivering at 6:30 AM.

Worked so hard, putting away all those stupid drugs. I was whooped at 1 PM when they let me out of there.


Last night, I was invited to eat dinner and watch "Survivor" and "CSI" with Brandy at her super-clean and lovely apartment. What a nice idea THAT was. :-) I also got to meet her new roommate, Bubba. Bubba is a huuuuge, gorgeous kitty that Brandy got from her Aunt. He's got almost the same coloring as Hayley does, but his fur is abundant and so very soft ... he feels like a bunny rabbit. Bubba is cool, very laid back and sweet.


We weren't really surprised to see Lillian get voted off last night. We had talked beforehand, and decided that if Morgan lost, she'd be the one to go. But after seeing how little Darrah does around the camp, we decided Morgan is a bunch of dumbasses for getting rid of Lill.

And now after calling the Morgans dumbasses, I do need to say that I feel sorry for them, because it's got to be so demoralizing to keep losing all the time!

I continue to ADORE Rupert.

I wish that crazy show came on every single night.


Friday Five

1. What vehicle do you drive? A white '95 Toyota Avalon

2. How long have you had it? Since it rolled off the showroom floor in June, 1995

3. What is the coolest feature on your vehicle? After the car I drove before this one (a Dodge Caravan), the obvious answer is that the Avalon runs.

4. What is the most annoying thing about your vehicle? Last December, I backed into a crappy cement light pole, and scratched up the back bumper. That, and the wind noise ... that's always been bad. Oh, and the damn 3-CD changer. It's a royal piece o' poo.

5. If money were no object, what vehicle would you be driving right now? For years, my dream car has been a BMW 750. White would be nice, with tan leather interior. If I had to buy something UNDER $75,000 I'd just get a brand new Avalon. It's a really nice car.


I've been putting off dusting and vacuuming downstairs for so many days, it's now official. I AM the Queen of Procrastination.


Clemson plays Maryland tomorrow at 3:30 PM. I think it's on ABC this week, so I'll be watching through my fingers ... hoping and praying for a WIN! Go Tigers!


Thought For Today:
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." (Drew Carey)

Thursday, October 02, 2003

"Don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories ..."

Today my younger sister Kay is 43 years old. To use a favorite phrase of Emilie's ... "What the hell?" If Kay is forty-freekin-three, when am I going to grow up?!? I always thought that by the time we were THIS old, we'd feel "grown". Not so. I'm beginning to suspect that's one of my problems ... in my head, I'm still about 19 years old. And my body has gone on without me.

Anyhoo, Happy Birthday Grubby. I love you. Don't you wish we could go back to about 1963 and start all over again? If I could go back and do things smarter, these things would be different:

1. I wouldn't fight with you so much. What was gained by all those hours of arguing? Nuttin, honey.

2. I wouldn't laugh when you chopped your Skipper's hair off to her chin, and then she looked like crap.

3. I wouldn't roll my eyes when you draped that damn gum wrapper chain around your orange room.

4. I wouldn't be so jealous when you bought your first car.

5. I would "play cars" with you MORE than we did the first time around. Lord, I loved that. I'm thinking we might be the only little girls in the WORLD that used "One Life To Live" as the plot-line to playing cars. Heh.

And these are some of the things I'd re-live in exactly the same way:

1. I'd still hate taking a bath with you in 1967.

2. I'd still think you were weird for saving your baby teeth in that little box.

3. I'd still resent you for going off to school every morning in Villa Rica, when I was having so many emotional problems and couldn't get myself out the door.

4. I'd still think you were a brat for poking your fingernails in the styrofoam head of the Christmas angel to make her a face.

5. I'd still be forever grateful that I always had somebody to play with, to talk to, to BE with ... forever grateful that I had a sister.

When we were little girls, we had no clue what life had in store for us. No idea that we'd both be married by the age of 20; that we'd both have a baby boy, and then a baby girl; that we'd live parallel lives until your divorce. We had no clue that you'd lose your mind and marry that 2nd strange man. ;-)

If we had a peek, back then, at the lives we'd be living in 2003, it's possible we'd be unwilling to leave 1963. Remember 1963? It wasn't all good, oh hell no. But we had a Mama at home, cooking our dinners every night and taking care of our every need. We had a Daddy who loved us, no doubt. We were safe, and we knew it. We were lucky girls.

But reality means that we can't pick a year and stay there (although God knows I've tried with my clothing and make-up style). Time moves on, and we have no choice but to move along with the SOB. Here we are ... two middle-aged sisters - one married, one single, whose children are grown (or almost grown, ahem Beth!). We've gone to our Father's funeral. We've dealt with health problems and husband problems and weight problems and children problems and money problems. And through all of it, we've been there for each other. We've lived through it all together. Thank God.

Happy 43rd, Kaydee. Sister. Friend.


Thought For Today:
"Don't let aging get you down ... it's too hard to get back up."

Monday, September 29, 2003

"I wished I'd a known you, wished I'd a shown you all of the things I was on the inside ..."

Sooo tired. But loving the weather.


Nice weekend ... Jimmy and I ate out at a seafood restaurant Friday night. Well, it was trying to be a seafood restaurant. Like maybe if they had seafood restaurants in prison, that's what this one would be. Horrendous.

Saturday, he couldn't stop talking about how it was "peanut season", and he wanted some boiled peanuts. We finally just got in the car and drove down to the Farmer's Market and bought some. I boiled 'em up, and I guess I'll have to freeze them since he only got around to eating a few of them.

Clemson had a bye week, so there was no reason for football love around here. Watched a little bit of the USC/Tennessee game just for laughs.

Sunday, I cut Jimmy's hair and did homework for my job. Zzzzz.


Today I abused my poor feet by standing for 6 hours. Then I went to a job interview at "The Gardens At Eastside". My interviewer said that working at NHC most likely traumatized me for a long time to come, but assured me that there could be no comparison between NHC and her facility. It's an assisted living place, pretty near home for me. I liked it. It's smallish, and the pay is alright. She said she'd call on Friday to let me know. She also shared with me that her mother had lived at NHC for about as long as I had worked there ... she said she was mortified at the conditions there. Ahhhhh ... it wasn't just me, after all!


More homework for work to do, but I think I'll save it for tomorrow morning. Tonight, I'm thinking a hot shower, and "All My Children" on SoapNet before I zonk for the night. Night night.


(Kay, thanks for the e-mail, I'll write back soon!)


Thought For Today:
"One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness."

Thursday, September 25, 2003

"All I wanted was the simple things ..."

My alarm was set for 7 AM, but I woke at 5:55 AM. Grr. I think I may be subsconciously waking for my daughter. Drove to Spartanburg, and only had a small bit of trouble finding the store where the training was to be held. There were 4 of us there, plus the trainer ... all smooshed into a tiny room about the size of my laundry room. At one point, the guy next to me whispered to me, "Good thing we're not claustrophobic!" You said it, boy.

I'm always slightly amused at what most companies call their "Training Program" ... usually it consists of someone reading aloud from a manual for hours at a time. Today was no exception. We did watch a short video, but the remainder of the 4 hours was spent following along while "The Trainer" read to us. Badly. I swear, I'm no genius ... not even close. But when the sentence reads, "If the wrong prescription is given to a customer, the medication may cause irreparable harm, and the Pharmacist's license may be jeopardized." and she reads it as "... the medication may cause responsible harm ..." without missing a beat, well I just have to question who needs to be training whom. Seriously. She used bad grammar the entire time, and it was a test of my maturity to refrain from rolling my eyes right on outta my head. At one point, I thought about making notes on my manuals, keeping track of all the words she misread. I thought better of it though. Again, I'm so mature.

Anyway, I go back tomorrow for 4 more hours. And yeah, my tail bone was crying when I got home today. Tomorrow I will need narcotics, I'm sure. Wish I had some.


Jimmy's flight arrives tonight a bit past 9 PM. He doesn't know it yet, but his "To Do" list has already been started. Emilie called late this afternoon to tell me she had a flat tire on campus today. Her friend helped her change it, but the spare is funky. So I'm betting her Dad will be driving down there tomorrow, hopefully early afternoon, to square that all away. I hate cars.


Survivor tonight. Nothing else going on. That is all.


Thought For Today:
"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

"Words can't bring me down ..."

Another beautiful day here today ... near perfect weather. Love that low humidity.


I laughed until I almost cried last night while watching "Newlyweds" when Ms. Jessica Simpson (at dinner with Nick and his brother and wife) had the following exchange over the tray of appetizers:

Jessica's sister-in-law: "Are you going to have one of those?"

Jessica looks, and says: "I don't eat buffalo."

There is a huge silence as everyone around the table processes what she just said. There is laughter from her sis-in-law, and then she says: "Jessica, that's not buffalo, it's chicken!"

The look on Jessica's face grows more and more confused as Nick and the others realize she thought buffaloes had WINGS.

And she really, really did. Whew, ain't she somethin'?


I have to be in Spartanburg by 9 AM tomorrow to continue my riveting Pharmacy Tech training. Whoopdeedo.


God, I've got to lose weight.


Thought For Today:
"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

"Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees ..."

And on that happy note ...

(sigh) all I can say is "Amen".


Sister Kay called tonight with the jubilant news that her boss granted her the entire week of Christmas to do with as she pleases! A blue Christmas is avoided once again. :-)

She couldn't stop laughing at her new kitten, Gracie. I know Emilie would kill to be able to see the new baby while she's little.

Speaking of Em, I stole a few more hugs today when she popped in after a doctor's appointment. Another :-)


Nothin' much happening here ... gonna watch "Newlyweds" at 10:30, then hit the bed. Ho-hum.


Thought For Today:
"It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens."

Monday, September 22, 2003

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down ..."

The pharmacy at CVS was a zoo tonight. It's amazing how a simple thing like a different pharmacist can gum up the works. This was my first time working with this guy, and I don't know much about the whole situation yet, but damn ... he seems a bit flaky. Anyway, I got very tired, very fast. And when I left, he said "See you tomorrow." Great.


Whoever made the decision to NOT televise the Clemson/GA Tech game on Saturday needs to kiss my big butt. What a GREAT game ... and you know it had to be, to keep my rapt attention while listening to the play-by-play on the radio! I would have loved to have seen it.

Clemson - 39
GA Tech - 3

Yeah, baby!


Emilie made my Sunday much brighter by coming home for a few hours of shopping and talking. :-) We replaced her old cell phone, ate a bite at Applebee's, and went to Wal-mart for junk. My kind of Sunday afternoon.


There's a steady rain falling outside tonight ... and I think my featherbed is calling my name. I hope all of you had a good Monday!


Thought For Today:
"Those who dance are thought to be quite insane by those who cannot hear the music." (Angela Monet)

Friday, September 19, 2003

"Those blackeyed peas, they tasted alright to me ..."


Work today was spent unpacking box after box of drugs, and then finding where they belong on the shelves. Which sounds easy, since the brand names are shelved in alphabetical order. But then the generics are shelved right next to the brand they match, and those crazy generic names make NO sense whatsoever. After that was done, I got to count some pills out and put 'em in the bottles. Counting is hard. I try to do it by 5's, and then I forget whether the pills I just pushed over were "20" or "25" ... arrghhh!


Clemson football takes place in Atlanta GA tomorrow ... against GA Tech, those Ramblin' Wrecks. Hope the Tigers can pull off another win!


Brandy's flight comes in from Denver tonight ... Welcome home, girl! (And thank you for the postcard!) She'll barely have time to get used to her own pillow again, since she's off to Michigan next week.

The other world-traveler in the family hasn't been heard from since Wednesday. He's probably made big Arizona sightseeing plans for this weekend.


Last night was the best Surivor premier episode ever!

It's too early for me to pick someone to hate, but I've already taken a liking to Rupert. He reminds me of Bluto from "Popeye". When he stole the shoes from the Morgan tribe (who were total stupid-asses to leave their stuff unguarded), I was sittin' here all alone and cheering outloud for him.

My favorite part was when the dumb Morgan tribe couldn't find their water supply, and then finally some genius thought to look on the map. Dur. As I end up saying every year when these people do stupid things ... don't they WATCH the show before they apply to go on it? Geez! And don't get me started on those nekkid Morgan men. Dorks.


Thought For Today:
"Keep on shining, keep on smiling, don't lose faith, and don't lose heart. When you're crying, just keep trying to remind yourself, you're a shining star, yes you are." (LeAnn Rimes ... I can't stand LeAnn Rimes, but this is a good thought, dammit.)

Thursday, September 18, 2003

"I'm a survivor, I'm not go'n give up ..."

While my project this week was obsessing about my daughter's physical and emotional health, I will admit to being briefly distracted from that today. After all, "Survivor" is only hours away. (Hopefully Em will understand.)

From ...
After six turns as the host of "Survivor," Jeff Probst pretty much knows his job cold. Every now and then, though, something on the show catches him by surprise.

That happened during his stint off the coast of Panama for "Survivor: Pearl Islands," the seventh edition of the game, which premieres at 8 p.m. EST tonight on CBS. For a time, he says he fell for "the greatest lie ever told on 'Survivor.' "

"It's brilliant. It's brutal and it's brilliant and it totally suckered me," says Probst, who, naturally, won't divulge who told the lie or what its ramifications were. "My first reaction was 'Motherf----r,' and then my second reaction was 'Wow, that's amazing.' "

The fantastic fib would seem to fit well with the overall theme of "Pearl Islands," which is piracy. The two tribes are called Drake and Morgan, after two English pirates (Sir Francis Drake and Capt. Henry Morgan) who sacked Spanish forts in the 16th and 17th centuries. Probst says working with that theme helped keep the show fresh for him and the crew this time.

"That was the creative box we worked in," he says. "[We were thinking] what would pirates do, how do we set them adrift, how do we do a mutiny, who can we make walk the plank."

The duplicity started right away. The 16 players were told to dress for a publicity photo while on the boat to their destination. Instead, though, Probst informed them that they'd be setting up camp with only the clothes they were wearing.

"It's not a huge twist in a sense, because it's just clothes," he says. "But it spins the game so differently from the beginning and puts them in a different mindset of being resourceful."

The two tribes were also given 100 Balboas -- the equivalent of $100 -- to buy supplies in a small village before being taken to their camps. They could also barter using the few items of clothing they had with them.

"What's interesting is one tribe comes out of there like they just robbed Fort Knox -- they have every thing," Probst says. "The other tribe comes out with not much more than when they went in. In fact, these idiots go back to camp with cash in hand. ... That's what makes the show still fascinating, is 'What are they thinking?' "

Because "Survivor" was essentially the starting point for the current glut of unscripted series, and because it's delivered consistently to a loyal audience, Probst thinks the show can outlive its newer, lesser spawn.

"I can see fatigue setting in with reality [shows], without question, because there's a lot of crap out there," he says. "Do I think it will affect 'Survivor'? No I don't. ... I think we're going to be around, I think 'American Idol' will be around, I think 'The Bachelor' will be around. Because they all touch on something, either fulfilling a dream or finding love or, in 'Survivor,' the adventure."

To make sure of that, though, the show's producers will keep coming up with new wrinkles. Probst promises more than just a grandiose lie by one of the players this time around.

"There's ... a very, very regrettable event that happens, and the person to whom it happens is going to regret it ... more than they have any idea right now," he says. "I couldn't believe it when it happened, and I can't wait for it to play out.

"There's also a huge twist to come that this time next year we'll be talking about, and you'll have an opinion on whether you loved or hated it."

Love. That. Show.


Today I paid a few bills, and balanced the checkbook. Oh, and laundry. I did two loads. Tomorrow I have to be at work at 8 AM, because "the truck comes in on Friday". Alrighty. I think my job tomorrow will consist of putting medicine on the shelves, so that I can learn where it goes, of course. Sigh. I miss being a housewife. Don't mean to whine about it, but damn. 25 years of something becomes a habit that's hard to break.


I'm late to the party, I know ... but when did Justin Timberlake get so cute? Can't take my elderly eyes off him. Yikes.


Thought For Today:
"Be good to yourself, when nobody else will." (Journey)

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

"Taken out of context, I must seem so strange ..."

Losing track of the days again ... thank goodness "Survivor" begins tomorrow night so that I can remember when it's Thursday again.


I have absolutely nothing to write about tonight, because my day was full of it. Nothing, that is. I'll try to do better tomorrow.


Jimmy called tonight and told me that the airport security smooshed through his luggage looking for a bomb. They found his book of matches instead. He's been traveling with the same book of matches since the early 1990's. They removed the dangerous matches from his luggage to save the world another airline disaster. No big loss, right?

Wrong. That little book of matches was where he hid his emergency stash of a $100 bill. Stupid airline monkeys.


Here's a bit of trivia I found interesting:

I am 44 years old and about:
42 years 5 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 86
38 years 10 months younger than Pope John Paul II, age 83
34 years 9 months younger than George Herbert Bush, age 79
27 years 6 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 71
25 years 4 months younger than Larry King, age 69
19 years 2 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 63
15 years 9 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 60
12 years 9 months younger than George W. Bush, age 57
7 years 8 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 52
3 years 5 months younger than Bill Gates, age 47
1 year 5 months older than Cal Ripken Jr., age 43
7 years 3 months older than Mike Tyson, age 37
11 years 4 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 33
16 years 9 months older than Tiger Woods, age 27
23 years 3 months older than Prince William, age 21

and I was:
42 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
40 years old on the first day of Y2K
38 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
36 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
35 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
33 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
31 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
30 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
26 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
24 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
24 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
22 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
20 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
17 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July
15 years old when President Nixon left office
13 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
10 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
9 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
6 years old during the Watts riot
4 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
not yet 1 year old when Hawaii was admitted as 50th of the United States


Thought For Today:
"Nothing that's forced can ever be right, if it doesn't come naturally, leave it." (Al Stewart)

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

"All this science I don't understand, it's just my job five days a week ..."

Even though my eyes are still twirling around in their sockets, here I am putting up a journal entry just for you. (Aww.) No kidding, work today was amazing. Who knew there was so much crap to consider every time Joe Schmoe gets a new drug from his doctor? It all sort of flew through my brain in a blur, every time they threw something else at me to do. They kept applauding, and saying what a great job I was doing ... but I suspect they were just trying to make sure I'd be back for my next shift. (And yeah, there were moments that I wondered how much money I could make doing child care from my house.) But the pharmacist is so very calm and nice, and the other techs are very friendly and helpful ... especially the lead tech. So I guess I'll keep plugging away at it. So very much for my old brain to learn ... it hurts!

Yeah, and so do my feet.


Em, hope your cold is improving. :-) If not, get more rest and drink some chicken soup. xoxoxo


Thought For Today:
"So when you think you're the only one who can't find love in this world, tell yourself there's another one who's waiting for you somewhere." (Rod Stewart)

Monday, September 15, 2003

"Everybody cries and everybody hurts, sometimes ..."

Monday. I've had better days.

5 AM - Drove Jimmy to the airport in the dark

6 AM - An unexpected hug from Adam ... on his way back to Clemson, he came by to get laundry detergent that was left here on Saturday

7 AM - Slept ... badly

8 AM - Showered, put hair up in velcro curlers

9 AM - Read crappy e-mail from AOL strangers, ate a bowl of apple cinammon oatmeal

10 AM - Showed up at CVS, the pharmacist gave me busy work (practice counting out these pills!), then sent me home to do training CD's on my computer

11 AM - Propped eyes open with toothpicks while watching the training CD about HIPPA

Noon - Ate a ham sandwich while snoozing through another CD on Third Party Billing ... but hey, I'm at home, right?

1 PM - Still with the training

2 PM - Still

3 PM - Headed back to CVS to turn in the CD's, pharmacist told me to come back tomorrow from 3 'til 8

4 PM - Went home and watched a chipmunk scamper into the open garage while I brought the garbage can in from the road ... and no, I never saw him leave

5 PM - Left for Sam's to fill the car with gas, and get some crap at Wal-mart

6 PM - Back home to watch the news and eat a burger ... thought about Brandy in Denver, and Jimmy in Phoenix

7 PM - Watched "Entertainment Tonight" so that I could grin when they talked about poor J-Lo ... wondered how Adam's day at work went

8 PM - Pondered the phone message from Publix down the street, asking me to come in for an interview

9 PM - Talked for a while with Emilie, and felt very proud that she's finding her inner strength and character

10 PM - Missed my kids

10:30 PM - Realized I'm really tired

Thought For Today:
"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go." (Green Day)

Sunday, September 14, 2003

"Even children get older, and I'm getting older too ..."

I don't know which is worse ... missing my kids, or worrying about them. Let's just say they both feel like royal crap. :-(


Jimmy's off to Phoenix again before the sun comes up. He'll probably run into Brandy at the airport. She's flying out for a week in Denver, and her flight leaves about the same time. I just asked Jimmy what time I should plan to get up, and the answer was 5:00 AM. Eww. I'll be yawning by the time I work from 10 'til 4 tomorrow.


I wish there were no such things as broken hearts. And I wish friends were true.


Thought For Today:
"You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful as you feel." (Carole King)

Saturday, September 13, 2003

"Happy Birthday to you ..."

Happy Birthday Adam! Thank you for coming to eat dinner with me tonight, and allowing me to get all gushy while remembering the wonderful time I had raising you. Consider it your birthday gift to ME! :-)

I hope the coming year is so good to you ... that your troubles are few, and your successes, many. And congratulations on your new job! Redfern has just hired the BEST Tech Support person I know! I hope you love it.


We got up early and took Ms. Hayley to the vet today. She was calm and collected through most of the exam, only hissing and snapping toward the end. Her temp was a bit high, although that might be explained by the stress she was feeling, just being there. The doctor said there was no evidence of fleas ... duh. So she then started talking about allergies. She gave Hayley a shot of cortisone, and said that might give her some relief. And if, by 2 weeks from now, we haven't noticed a decrease in the chewing and bald legs, we should bring her back in for allergy testing.

She also asked if Hayley could be considered "high-strung". I really didn't know how to answer, since Hayley is a quiet kitty, but she sometimes has "mood swings". Ha. Anyway, the doctor said some pets have a sort of obessive-compulsive thing, where they just chew and chew. She said there were medications that she could take, if that was the case. Seems sort of ironic that Hayley might possibly share the same diagnosis as her loving owner.


And now I'm tired. I hope all my loved ones are safe and sound, and know how much I do love them. Night night.


Thought For Today:
"Hurry! The passengers have been rated by the PG!" (Adam, the bear killer. June 1984)

Friday, September 12, 2003

"I am beautiful no matter what they say ..."

23 years ago on this very Friday night, I was in labor ... missing the season premiere of "Dallas". That's right. I had to wait for reruns to see who shot J.R. That just shows you right there what kind of Mama I am. Haha.

The most beautiful baby boy arrived on Saturday morning, September 13, 1980. 6:12 AM, if I remember correctly. I had been in the hospital since September 9th. I had pre-eclampsia, which can be a serious problem if it's not monitored closely. So that's why they had me in the hospital ... monitoring closely. My blood pressure was high, my thinking was fuzzy, I was retaining about 40 pounds of excess fluid, and I did indeed feel sick enough to be in a hospital bed. But as soon as that little boy was born, all was right with the world.

I can hardly believe it ... the years really and truly did fly. I look at pictures of my kids when they were little, and I can remember it all so clearly. I guess I just thought it was all going to last a bit longer than it did. They don't need me the way they did back then. And aww, I miss being needed like that.

But you know what? I truly love being the Mom of two such incredible young adults. :-) I'm sooooo lucky.


Today I made only a few cash register mistakes, and I didn't set off any store alarms. I worked with an older gentleman who surely did remind me of my Daddy. The manager asked me if I could work tomorrow in the pharmacy ... and I asserted myself. Aren't you proud? I told him that my husband is only home two weekends a month, and that tomorrow is my son's birthday, and besides ... there's a Clemson game. He about fell over himself saying, "Ohhh of course, you can have the weekend, no problem, really!" So I go in Monday at 10 AM to start my real job. Any and all crossed fingers will be appreciated.


I can't believe John Ritter died today. That just makes me sad. And Johnny Cash too. Although I'm a little less sad about him ... hopefully he's smiling with his June somewhere nice. But John Ritter. That's a sad shock.


Friday Five
1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed?
The same first and middle name, yes. The last name has changed once.

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
When I was a child, I wanted desperately to be a Jacquelyn. As I've aged, I've begun to appreciate my name, and now I can't imagine being anything other than Dawn. I've always loved my middle name (Elizabeth). But I'd change my last name if I could ... it's only one syllable, and sounds silly with my one-syllable first name.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
I'm guessing my mother named me because she liked the name. I think Elizabeth has been used through the years in my father's family.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
Not counting the names of my children ... obviously those are my favorites ... I like Michael for a boy, and Sarah for a girl. Old fashioned, am I not?

5. Is the analysis of your name at accurate? How or how isn't it?
My analysis states:

The first name of Dawn leads you to assume considerable responsibility and to prefer to work independently, without direction or interference from others because you have very definite ideas of your own. Your mind is quick to comprehend and you can be depended upon to do any job well. Because you tend to be somewhat of a perfectionist, you might insist on doing too many things yourself instead of delegating jobs to others who might do less satisfactory work. This name does make you quite direct and straight-to-the-point. Your verbal expression does not reflect your inner thoughts and feelings, and you often wonder why people react to what you say. The influence of this name does not promote the friendship that you desire or the relaxation and naturalness you should enjoy with people. It is a name that makes you far too practical and serious-minded, and makes it difficult for you to act with spontaneity.

And I say AMEN to that!


I have to go make a birthday cake. :-)


Thought For Today:
"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove ... but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child."

Thursday, September 11, 2003

"Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no ..."

Hmm. I get an unexpected and very rare phone call from my sister at her work this afternoon ... and then have to read in my niece's online journal that they won't be coming here at Christmas time. What's up with that? :-(


I went in today to "do paperwork" with the store manager, and ended up setting off a huge store alarm by opening the door to the storeroom. That's about all it takes for me to want to go home and cry. But I didn't.

The pharmacist came in, saying he wanted me to work on Saturday. I wonder if he realizes that I've literally not worked on a cash register since 1978. I think I should have a bit more practice before I'm dumped in the pharmacy. Lucky for me, the manager agreed with me. I'll get to "practice" from 10 until 4 tomorrow. What do you want to bet I have to go in and work the pharmacy on Saturday anyway?

Yeah, and I'm still feeling cranky that I had to quit my Housewife job.


Jimmy's flying home tonight ... must be a weird experience to fly cross-country on 9/11.


HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY, BRANDY! :-) I hope all your wishes come true!


Thought For Today:
"Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them."

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

"The remedy is the experience ..."

My feet are killing me. I'm far to fat to consider standing for 6 straight hours. But then, my stupid cracked tailbone won't allow me to sit that long either. Guess I'm doomed to finding a job that lets me lay around on the couch all day. Ohhh yeah.

Today wasn't so bad. I got my nametag, and I got to wear my cute white lab coat. Heh. The guy that trained me on the cash register was a stickler for detail. And I guess that's a good thing. When I was stuck trying to remember what was the secret combination of numbers to do this or that, he stood quietly behind me. And as my finger would head toward the wrong key, he'd clear his throat to let me know I should try another one. They actually let me take care of customers for most of the day, so I guess that tells us all just how very difficult this job is!

There was plenty of laughter and good-natured teasing between the employees, so that's a positive. Although this was "up front". The atmosphere in the pharmacy was definitely quieter.

Oh well, I'm quiet.


Tomorrow I must call the vet again for our poor tortured soul of a cat. Cats do love to groom themselves, but LORD. She never stops. She's maintaining the "poodle" on her legs, and her belly is bare. Seems to me it's been worse over the last few days too ... the never-ending lick, lick, chew, chew, chew, lick, lick. Arrrghhh! This can't be flea allergy either ... there ARE NO FLEAS in here. Sure do dread trying to get her in the cat carrier by myself though. Emilie and I had a hell of a time when we did it last time. You'd think it would be a matter of shoveherin&slamthedoor. Riiiiight.


Hope everybody reading this has had a good Hump Day. I really do.


Thought For Today:
"Every person that you meet knows something you don't; learn from them."

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

"Its bad when you annoy yourself ..."

So I watched CVS videos for an hour. I learned all about the "Eye, Hi, and Help" approach to customers that all loyal CVS employees must follow. And I learned to say "NO" to sexual harassment. Tomorrow I'm supposed to show up at 10AM to get my name tag, and learn how to use the cash register and "other important procedures". And this will take until 4 in the afternoon. Oy.


Nothing else to report, since I'm here all alone with Ms. Hayley ... and she's pretty quiet.


My new favorite show is on tonight ... "Newlyweds" with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. I can't help it ... I have a soft spot in my heart for Jessica. She's the poster child for Spoiled Princesses everywhere, and by damn, she won't deny it. She freely admits that she's spoiled. And she likes it that way. Heh. Also, she burps out loud just like my very own precious princess, Emilie. :-)

Here's my favorite bit of dialog from the show (so far!):

Jessica (eating from a white bowl): "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish?"

(Long pause)

Jessica: "I know it's tuna, but it ... it says chicken."

(Even longer pause while Nick stops watching TV to stare at her)

Jessica: "Of the sea" (giggles)

(Nick's still staring at her)

Jessica: "Is that stupid?"

(Nick looks down at his bowl, glances forward and then turns his head to stare at her again. Another pause)

Jessica: "What?!"

(Nick shakes his head)

Jessica: "Don't make fun of me right now, I'm not in the mood."

Nick: "You act like you've never had tuna before!"

Jessica: "I've had tuna fish... like sandwiches and stuff... like this."

Nick: "You and I have eaten tuna like this before."

Jessica: "Why is it called 'Chicken by the Sea'? Or "In the Sea'?"

Nick (with a smile): "'Chicken of the Sea' is the BRAND."

Jessica (quietly): "ohhhhh..."

Nick: "You know, because a lot of people eat tuna. A lot of people eat chicken. So it's like 'the chicken of the sea'."

I'm sure you see now why I am hopelessly addicted to watching these two find their way through the first young year of marriage.

I told you before ... don't you be jealous of my social life!

Thought For Today:
"Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches."

Monday, September 08, 2003

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got ..."

Another day of solitary. It went by pretty fast though. I ate too much, moved too little. Pretty typical. I wonder when I will finally decide to grow up and accept responsibilty for my own crap. You know, my health, my size, my happiness. Soon, I'm thinking (hoping). The rut I've dug for myself over the last 25 years is getting old.

I’m amazed at how much of life is about accepting responsibility. While I know how important it is, there are times that I would rather run screaming for the hills than stand up and do what I know to be right. Example: I know that exercise and healthy eating HAVE to be a part of my daily life. When I ignore these things, it equals not caring about the quality of my life ... and even the length of my life. My brain is full of the knowledge. I know enough to write my own weight loss book. So why am I still fat? Why do I continue to choose the wrong foods? Why do I overeat? Why do I pick watching TV over taking a walk? Why am I holding on to this body of mine with such force?


Silly me, I thought that if I typed out the questions the answers would come to me. And I've got nothin' still. But I tell you what. I'm tired of being fat.


Brandy called from Charlotte tonight to let me know how her first day went. She survived a nerve-wracking morning, but sounded pretty excited about her new job. Very happy for her. :-)


Thought For Today:
"When you are a mother you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." (Sophia Loren)