"I don't feel so bad ..."

I hit the ground running today. Then I sat down in here in front of the computer. And screeched to a halt. *sigh*

I'm not giving up though. I have plans to get a lot done today. Yes sirree. First on the agenda: PAY THE DAMN BILLS. I've been putting that off for so many days, it's embarrassing. Why why why??? Procrastinating is evil. Procrastinating looks a lot like "lazy" to the untrained eye. But it's not. At least that's what I like to tell myself.

Ah hell. I'm lazy.

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Have you heard of Freecycle? From their website: The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,142 groups with 4,013,000 members across the globe. It's a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It's all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills. Each local group is moderated by a local volunteer (them's good people). Membership is free.

I joined the Greenville Freecycle group a few months ago, and have gotten rid of a few choice pieces of "junk" ... all to grateful folks who acted like I was giving them a great gift. Yesterday I was on the receiving end of the whole process.

I had been planning to use Emilie's old crib mattress in the crib for Miss L'il Bit to sleep on. But when I looked at measurements, I discovered that new crib mattresses are slightly bigger all around, and the result is there are no gaps between the mattress and the crib for the little ones to get body parts wedged into. I really didn't want to spend another $100 on a new mattress, so I was planning on getting some foam and cutting thin strips to fasten to the mattress with packing tape, and then covering the the whole shebang with a zippered mattress cover. (Can you tell I live with an engineer?)

Over the weekend, I opened my E-mail to find a Freecycle offer of a crib mattress. I replied like lightening ... and heard back from the lady! (Which is sort of like a miracle, because things go fast.) I was able to pick it up yesterday ... she lived right around the corner from me ... and now I have a mattress that fits! I listed my old mattress last night, with the disclaimer that it wasn't going to fit tightly in a crib and shouldn't be used for an infant. Within half an hour, Emilie's old crib mattress had a new home. A lady wrote that she needed a newer mattress for her 2-year-old, who wasn't ready for a "big boy bed" yet. She'll pick it up later today. Cool!

Anyway, if you've got lots of junk ... or want some ... check out Freecycle. I'd recommend using a spare E-mail address when you sign up though, since it does generate a lot of mail.

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It's COLD this morning! My thermometer outside said mid-30's when I woke up today.

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I have so many things on my to-do list, I can't even think straight. Gonna go now and see if I can't get some of them OFF the list. Y'all have a good one.

"Yesterday's been laid to rest ..."

How was your weekend?

Mine was alright. I spent money. Cooked. Cleaned. And now it's Monday again. If memory serves, tomorrow it'll be Saturday once more. That's just how fast my weeks are going.

On Friday, I did the majority of the money-spendin'. Had to go by Whole Foods for my yogurt ... it's been weeks since the Publix near my house has had Fage in stock. I found one lone little carton on Friday, and they had marked the damn price up 20 cents, from $1.79 to $1.99! Those bastards. I'll be getting them at Whole Foods from now on, where they've always charged $1.69.

And I bought a crib! I'm having more fun preparing for the arrival of Miss Li'l Bit than I did when my own babies were on the way. I guess that's because we have more money now. Hell, when I think back to the pitiful array of supplies I pulled together when Adam was born, there's no comparison. We used Jimmy's old crib and mattress, I had an old "infant seat" that my Mom used for Sister Laura, and whatever clothes he had were gifts or hand-me-downs. And there weren't a lot of those. I remember I bought 2 crib sheets, a couple of receiving blankets, and a crib mobile that were "brand new". I also bought a plastic changing table ... because I found one marked down to $24.95. My sister threw me a little baby shower a few weeks before Adam arrived, and that's where the car seat came from, if I remember right. Most of those supplies were used for Miss Emilie too. Although Emilie lucked out in the clothing department, since Jimmy's "rich" uncle had a baby girl 2 years beforehand, and they were generous with the hand-me-downs.

Proof that it doesn't take "things" to raise good kids, I guess ... but I sure am having fun shopping for my granddaughter.

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If it weren't for the Internet, I'd have no idea the World Series happened this year, and that Boston won it yesterday. Thank GOD for the Internet, huh?

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I've had my little space heater on already, and it won't be long before I'm forced to turn on the "real" heat. I think there's a possibility for frost tonight. (Note to self: Bring in the Christmas Cactus!) It's CRAZY to think that by the end of the week, it'll be November. Last time I blinked, it was March, wasn't it?

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Thanks Jimmy, for working so hard to get that damn guest room painted and finished up this weekend. Maybe we'll be in Assisted Living before it needs it again.

Kathy, Mary, & Melissa: You're good friends. Only good friends will fake an interest in irritable bowel stories. (And then they gag when you look the other way. Heh.) Love you!

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Plenty to do today, and I should get started!

"So far it has not been fun ..."

Bleh.

Haven't been around much this week because all I have to talk about is my irritable bowel. See how I think about you and your happiness? It's all I do, really ... think about you.

But oh, my intestinal woes this week have been mighty. My schedule yesterday was entirely dictated by "Bossy". Yep, that's what I've named her. She's a grouchy old girl.

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In other news: Nope, no baby yet. But tonight's the full moon. I have full faith that she'll come when she's supposed to, but I'm also thinking that I really would like to hold her. It's a predicament, no?

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Jimmy has today off work, and I'm hoping he'll get a little more painting done in the guest room. Sure would be nice to have it finished before the weekend is over. Last weekend, I agreed to "help", and it wasn't long before my brain exploded. I don't know how to say it any clearer: I HATE PAINTING. After totally screwing up the door, he allowed me to use the roller to cover the walls. My dental cleaning yesterday was WAY more fun ... and my gums were bleeding.

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So today I've made a grocery list, and I'll be heading out for "the errands" soon ... that is, if Bossy says it's ok with her. That cranky bitch.

"Tomorrow might be good for something ..."

Friday! I know I say it every other time I'm here, but damn. Time flies.

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I saw this one coming from a mile away: Amy Winehouse: Arrested, Fined In Norway Drug Bust. But after reading the details, I'm SHOCKED. There was no crack pipe? No crystal meth to be found! It's scandalous, don't you agree?

In other useless news, Britney (or as one of my favorite gossip websites likes to call her, "Unfitney" ... love it!) ran over the foot of a paparazzi yesterday just after she got her lips blown up with collagen. And once again, she left the scene of "the accident". Somebody needs to tell her that she won already. Forever and always, her name will be synonymous with "Crazy Bitch". The contest is closed.

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Homecoming at Clemson tomorrow ... hopefully the little team from Central Michigan will play nice and let the Tigers win. Emilie and Jud have game tickets, and it looks like it'll be a nice day for some football fun.

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We are in the final countdown for BABY here at the castle. Brandy says she can't imagine much more. She's not sleeping well, and her feet are being a pain in her ... uh, feet. They are swelling a lot, and I can understand how that would be no fun if you're having to dress in a professional manner and go to work all day. That, and the whole "I can't bend over anymore" thing. I know it's miserable. And even though she feels like it'll be soon, I know it won't FEEL like it's soon to her ... even if the baby comes next week. Those last few weeks of being pregnant felt like months and months.

When I was pregnant with Emilie, I was certain that labor was only hours away in mid-October. On Halloween, my mother-in-law showed up at my house, saying, "There's a full moon tonight! Get in my truck, we're going to find us a bumpy dirt road ... you're having that baby TONIGHT!" And I'm so stupid, I got in her truck. Oh, the bumpy road when you're carrying an almost-10-pound baby. That's probably the reason RIGHT THERE that I needed a "bladder hammock" last year.

And Emilie was born on November 4th.

Hang in there, Brandy. (And call me if you want to find a bumpy dirt road on Halloween. There's a full moon! Whooo!)

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Are you watching The Office on NBC every week? If not, you should be.

"Once I rose above the noise and confusion ..."

Back in the day, 1971 to be exact, I took my Richards Junior High yearbook and located every single picture of David Ragsdale. I took a marker, and lovingly drew a heart around his face in all those pictures. I was in 7th grade, he was in 8th. I was a dork, he was a cool guy. I was 5'10" already, he was ... short. But he knew how to dress, his hair was long and oh, so beautiful -- and so there was nothing else for me to do. I had a Crush. With a capital C.

(I think that was the beginning of my fascination with "Men With Hair", and why I ended up falling for the man I live with now. Jimmy used to have some dreeeeeamy hippie hair ... WAY back in the day. His brother Michael did too!)

But time marches on. There were babies to raise and houses to keep; and through the years, not much thought was given to my junior high school Crush. In fact, except for the time in the 80's, when I heard he had made the bigtime and was playing in Louise Mandrell's band (Ha!), I hadn't given him ANY thought at all.

Not sure when he joined up with the old band, Kansas ... but his webpage says he has spent at least 7 years playing with them. Jimmy heard that they would be performing in Greenville on Saturday night, so herniated disk be damned ... we were there.

For a bunch of old guys, they put on an awesome show! That was a little joke there. I enjoyed it a lot. Especially when the lead singer said, "Hey, tonight's really special for me! This is the first time all 3 of my grandchildren have come to see us perform!"

*sigh* All we are is dust in the wind, y'all.


You have to skip ahead to about halfway through the video to see a little concert footage (and David with old hair).

David, with new hair, on Saturday night:

And finally, if you really need proof that time marches on ..

"I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment's gone ..."

"Let the sun illuminate the words ..."

Several of the bloggers I read on a regular basis have recently posted their "Life Lists". In case you haven't heard of the concept, it's simply a list you make of the things you would like to do or accomplish in your lifetime. They say that once you start the list, things actually begin happening ... whether it's you making the effort or there's some "magic" in actually stating to the universe what you'd like out of life. I think there's something to this. About 20 years ago, I made a tiny list in my journal: "Things I Want". (Hehe.) At the time, they seemed quite unattainable. In looking back, years later, I discovered that almost every single thing on the list could have been crossed off. (Except for the ones that only applied to the house we lived in at the time.)

With that in mind, I decided to start my "Life List". Wanna hear it? Here it go:

* Go to a Dave Matthews Band concert.

* Go on a "Sisters Only" weekend trip with Kay and Laura.

* Sell this house and move.

* Live in a house that has good natural light ... windows! Big rooms. And grass in the backyard.

* Grow tomatoes and a flower garden in that sunny backyard.

* Exercise DAILY.

* Invite friends for dinner, or drinks and conversation ... in other words, stop worrying that my home isn't "nice enough".

* Visit Hawaii.

* Go to a Madonna concert.

* Organize all my photographs.

* Find a way to visit and reconnect with my old friend Leslie White Adams.

* Clean out all the junk in the garage and basement. Too much STUFF!

* Visit Greece.

* Travel around the U.S. in a motor home. (The closest I'll go to "camping".)

* Grow my hair until I can be happy with a haircut again.

* Learn about wine.

* Learn to knit.

* Learn to swim.

* Become a person who is thought about often, in loving and positive ways.

* Floss every day.

* Get rid of the remaining wallpaper in this house, and repaint the 1st floor rooms.

* Redecorate the kitchen and laundry room, floor to ceiling.

* Read more books.

* Be supportive and helpful to my adult children. No smothering. No guilt.

* Learn to dance the Shag.

* Find someplace to volunteer.

* Straighten out my recipe notebook.

* Get a new deck built for this house.

* Win the lottery. (Can't hurt.)

* Be the kind of Grandmother that I always wanted for my own kids.

* Spend more time outside.

* Make a trip to the beach, any beach ... at least once every season.

* Ride a bike again.

* Ride a roller coaster again.

* Sit and talk more with Michael and Patti.

* Plant a magnolia tree in my yard.

* Say more "I Love You"s.

* Stop settling for less.

* Model self-confidence and humility for my grandchildren.

* Spend less money on "things".

* Start every day with "I'm grateful" thoughts.

* See a performance of "The Nutcracker" during the holidays.

* Visit the Biltmore House.

* Learn to play the flute again.

* Grow old gracefully. But with spirit.

* Nurture friendships with other women. Spend time with my friends.

* Keep my kitchen clean.

* Have a front porch with rocking chairs. And maybe a swing.

* Be present. Now.

* Own a vacation home at the beach.

* Take care of my mother as she ages.

* Get new bedroom furniture.

* Visit Italy.

* Take an Alaskan cruise.

* Take a trip with no itinerary.

* Learn to play the guitar.

* Take a cake decorating class. Or two.

* "... the rest is still unwritten."

"Because the drugs never work ..."

I am living some crazy busy days this fall. It's so unlike me!

Saturday was unusually fun ... I drove to Traveler's Rest, parked my car at a Sleep Inn, and rode with Sisters Laura and Melody to North Carolina. First stop was Hendersonville, where we rode around for several hours, looking at homes for sale. (They are hoping to sell their house in GA, and move to the mountains ASAP. I have to say, I think it's a marvelous idea!) We stopped at an apple orchard and tortured Melody by making her pose for pictures. Then we headed to Asheville and found more houses for sale. Now that may sound like a recipe for a very boring afternoon, but I was with Laura and Melody. Never a dull moment! When the sun went down, we headed into downtown Asheville and found some food and wine. I love spending time with my long-lost sister. Wine or no wine.

On Sunday, I tried to sleep late and talk to my other sister, only she wasn't answering her phone. I ran some errands, and saw Adam and Brandy for a little while. They celebrated their 2nd anniversary on Monday! I went to bed early, but spent most of the night awake ... Jimmy had a terrible time with pain that night. The spasms in his back were horrible, and seemed to come one after another for several hours. At one point, I dressed to take him back to the ER for some pain relief. (He let his pain meds get low by not calling the doctor's office on Friday. He was warned. He chose to disregard my wisdom and experience in this matter.) He decided to take his last dose around midnight, and see if he could tough it out until the office opened Monday morning. I made him take a double dose of the muscle relaxant, and we did sleep a little bit.

I spent Monday being Nurse Dawn ... well, except for that one hour when I was locked outside, being eaten alive by global warming- sized mosquitoes. After picking up new narcotics and drugging the man, I spent some time outside planting a few fall flowers. That was right about the same time Jimmy decided to fire up a few podcasts of Bob & Sheri and doze off.

And yeah, I was locked out. I looked around for a key in the basement (Which is NEVER locked. Heads up, burglars!), checked out the garage windows and decided that IF I cut the screens to climb through the cobwebs and grime, I'd likely break my neck trying to climb over all the hoarded crap he stores beneath the windows. Forget THAT. And yeah, my cell phone was in my purse, as usual. I had only one option: I had to ring the doorbell a million times, hope he'd get aggravated that I wasn't asnwering the door, and then he'd somehow stand up and make his way downstairs to let me in.

This part took close to an hour. I'd ring, ring, ring the doorbell ... then I'd pound, pound, pound on the door, or the window next to the door. I'd sit for awhile, admiring my new flowers. Then I'd do it all over again. I started to wonder if we might miss the 3:45 MRI appointment, since I'd not even had a chance to tell him it was scheduled.

It's a good thing I didn't have to pee.

I'm typing this, so you already know I did make it back inside. I heard him laughing as he made his way down the stairs to let me in. (The humor was lost on me, at this point.) He said he thought the doorbell was sound effects on the podcasts he was listening to, and he thought all the door and window-banging was me, "hanging pictures". I said, "Where did you think I might be hanging 40 pictures??!!" His answer, "I guess THAT'S why you didn't answer the phone when it was ringing just now."

Dur. He claims all the narcotics have NO EFFECT on the clarity of his mind. I will save this little episode for proof otherwise.

Anyway. We made it to the MRI. Still waiting on results, hopefully today. He's back to work, walking like a pretzel. He says as long as he takes the oxycodone every 4 hours, the pain is manageable. Between the back issues, and Emilie's head cold and cough from hell, I will carry on as Nurse Dawn for at least the remainder of this week.

To be continued ...

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Kathy & Emilie: That personality test captured you both PERFECTLY. Wow.

"Everybody's got insanities ..."

This is fascinating in its accuracy!

The Quick And Painless Enneagram Test

My Score: 2 - the Helper

I chose CX - my Enneagram type is TWO (aka "The Charmer").

"I must help others."

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.


How To Get Along With Me:

* Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
* Share fun times with me.
* Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
* Let me know that I am important and special to you.
* Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.


In Intimate Relationships:

* Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
* Reassure me often that you love me.
* Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.


What I Like About Being a TWO:

* being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
* knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
* being generous, caring, and warm
* being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
* being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor


What's Hard About Being a TWO:

* not being able to say no
* having low self-esteem
* feeling drained from overdoing for others
* not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
* criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
* being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
* working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings


TWOs as Children Often:

* are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
* try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
* are outwardly compliant
* are popular or try to be popular with other children
* act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
* are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted TWOs), or quiet and shy (the more introverted TWOs)


TWOs as Parents:

* are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
* are often playful with their children
* wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
* can become fiercely protective

"Wondering if we had spent our living days well ..."

Good golly, life seems extra busy these days. And I'm spinning my wheels most of the time. Ugh.

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Hey, look what I ate on Sunday:

I didn't eat the whole thing, but wow. The few bites I DID eat were pretty darn good. I attended a lovely shower for Brandy and Adam and the new baby in Charlotte on Sunday afternoon. They got a truckload of beautiful gifts. I'm sure they're trying to find a place to put them all now.

And let me just take a moment to say that I adore my daughter-in-law's family. A warmer, more loving group of folks you will not find anywhere. They always make me feel welcomed and comfortable. It really makes me wish we all lived in the same town.

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Happy Birthday to my sister Kay! (Speaking of another person I wish lived closer to me.) She's 47 today, and I send her all my best wishes for a HEALTHY, happy year ahead. I wish she could take some time off to do something for herself. She works seven days a week at two jobs, and her time off work is spent getting ready to go to work the next day. I worry about her health, and I worry about her happiness. I hope someone makes her smile and feel loved on her birthday today.

Happy Birthday, Sissy. I miss you.