Friday, June 29, 2007

"Diet Coke and a pizza, please ..."

I love Mika ...

"Back to life, back to reality ..."

Remember me?

Really, I had every intention of updating here while I was in Georgia. I took the old laptop, Michael hooked me up with some Internet access, and God knows there's not much else to do at my mother's house. But I had no idea how incredibly frustrating it'd be to sit and wait on that old laptop to decide to follow whatever command I had just given, and then do it using a dial-up connection. Sit and wait, sit and wait ... and if you knew how uncomfortable my mother's kitchen chairs are, well then you'd REALLY understand.

So I looked at my e-mail every few days, and that's about it. Sorry.

(I also had a plan to post a picture or two today, but I can't seem to remember how to operate THIS computer now. Grr.)


So I left on June 3rd, and Mother's surgery was on Monday the 4th. They kept her in the hospital until that Friday afternoon, because she was really nauseous for some reason. The nurses all kept telling her that it was residual anesthesia in her system, and sometimes it takes awhile to get out of there, especially in older folks. She was miserable, and completely distracted and worried by the fact that she didn't want to eat.

She got some relief from all that on the day after she got back home, and really ... she's had a good recovery, so far. She's a most impatient person, and wanted to be "normal" the week after surgery though, so she's not been a very happy camper. But the nurse that comes to see her once a week, and her physical therapist that comes three times every week both tell her regularly how well she's doing.

I could go on for days and tell y'all all the stories ... but let's just leave it at this: I had some EXCELLENT life lessons on "How NOT To Behave As An Elderly Person". Now all I have to do is remember that shit after the Alzheimer's kicks in.

I'm so glad to be home, you would not believe.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

"What's the big idea? ..."

Shhhh. It's a rare Saturday entry. We don't want to frighten it.


Em and I were accosted in Wal-mart yesterday, further cementing my opinion that time in that store equals the loss of brain function. We were minding our own business in the hair products aisle, when out of nowhere, a Jesus zombie attacked us. I may have brought it on myself, since I smiled at the whack job when we passed her in the previous aisle.

She got all up in our space, and started in. Her eyes had this weird "I've been abducted by aliens" look, and she was wearing Bob Jones clothes. She started out with, "I just want to tell you ..." I thought she was going to say, "I just want to tell you ... you look MAHVELOUS!" Or "... you need a different hair color." Or even "... Girl, your butt gettin' big!"

But no. "I just want to tell you that Jesus Christ died for your sins. Blah blah blah ... blah de blah blah." Emilie snorted and laughed, which slowed the bitch down for a split second. But I think my entertained smile encouraged her. She talked for a good 2 minutes about her man JC before I could break the alien eye contact she had on us, and run the other direction.

I hate this about me: I spent the entire ride home thinking of things I WISH I had said to her.

Freaking Wal-mart.


From the comments:
"Hey, I got a pedicure last weekend at the place by Bloom. The ladies there were in a great mood. They made me laugh soooo hard. Talking about dating and boyfriends and boob jobs and stuff."

Kathy, I didn't see a single lady anywhere in the place on Thursday afternoon. That's what I meant by the bad vibe I felt ... there were a couple of men working, and they were playing Cher on the CD player. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

He asked me if I wanted the hot towels on my legs ... I said yes ... then I think they charged me an extra $5 for the experience. The sign said "Spa Pedicure: $25", and he charged me $30. Oh well.

You made me laugh with the clacking dog toenails visual. Heee!


Alright, here's the plan:

I leave tomorrow for Georgia. I plan to stay, initially, for 2 weeks. If, in that time, Mom's unable to get around her house safely, I will come back here for a weekend to pay bills and regroup ... then return for another stretch of however long it takes. Surely, between my two sisters and my niece, they can cover me for a weekend, right?

I'll have my laptop, and Michael and Patti are being generous with their Bellsouth account, so hopefully I'll be able to get online. Internet Withdrawal is not a pretty sight on me.

I fully expect this to be torturous. My mother does not have a good track record for handling pain like a trouper. I know this'll be really hard for her, and in turn ... hell for me. (And isn't it really ALL about me?)

I'll update here when I get the chance. Send me all your positive thoughts ... I will be needing every single one.

Friday, June 01, 2007

"Say a prayer but let the good times roll ..."

Random and disjointed thoughts:

***I love love love my new bathroom paint. 18-year-old wallpaper is nasty, but pale sage paint is beautiful.***

***I finally watched the 2-hour season finale of "Lost". Fan-freakin'-tastic, I thought. I heart Hurley. Big time.

***Had my 1-year blood work done yesterday. My vein rolled on the first stick, and she just kept trying to make it cooperate by moving the needle around and re-jabbing in the same spot. I'm really surprised I'm not bruised today.***

***We need rain.***

***Tried the new pedicure place next to Bloom on Hwy. 14. My toes look alright, but I didn't like the "vibe" I got from the people who worked there. I'll stick to Tips & Toes next to Whole Foods.***

***I watched season one of "Weeds" on DVD this week. Good show!***

***Just exactly how long does a 7-night cruise last anyway? I feel like it's been months since I've seen Adam & Brandy.***

***I need to up my protein intake. I've been slacking.***

***Can't even express how I dread being away from home for weeks. I'm such a baby. I hope someone will water my plants.***

***Must. Concentrate. On. Organization. For. Trip.***

***Get. Up. Get. Busy.***