Tuesday, May 25, 2004

"And she'll have fun, fun, fun ..."

Wow. I'm surprised I remembered my password to get in here.

They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit, and it's been well over 30 days since I've written here. It was easier not to. And now of course, there's far too much to catch up on in one entry. So I shall start fresh, and assume, since you probably know me, you know what's been going on since early April! Whew!


We went last weekend to good ole Columbus GA to see Miss Elizabeth graduate from high school. I was stressing a little before we left, wondering if Emilie would make it ... she's been feeling SO bad lately. But she did just fine. My mom threw a little party for Beth after the ceremony, and we enjoyed seeing everybody!

Speaking of graduations, my baby-child Adam wore a cap and gown at Clemson's graduation on May 7th. Me <----- PROUD. What a nice time we had! We cooked out and drank beer to celebrate ... and did that for the whole weekend. And now he's engaged. :-) Brandy took Adam on a congratulations cruise after his graduation, and he surprised her with a GORgeous diamond ring. Now I'm going to be a MOTHER-IN-LAW. I'd like to take this opportunity to assure my family that I will be a MARVELOUS one.


So now ... I'm getting a bit nervous about the work that needs to be done before we leave for our cruise on Thursday. I'm so very disorganized! In fact, today I should already be out the door getting the final errands run. And I've picked today to start updating the journal again. Ha. Procrastinate much?? After seeing the pictures Adam and Brandy brought back from their cruise, I am REALLY getting excited about the whole thing!


Things To Do Today:

*Take packages to the post office

*Go to PetSmart to buy automatic feeder bowls for the cat

*Figure out how much cash to take on the trip

*Get cash

*Shop for "fancy" jewelry for the trip

*Do some laundry

*Iron Jimmy's dress shirts

*Pay cell phone bill

*Decide, once and for all, what I'm wearing on the cruise

*Sweep the kitchen

*Watch American Idol and The Real World


Yikes. What am I doing sitting here?!?

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

"The more I grow, the less I know ..."


First of all, to reply to Sister Kay's comment from my last entry (8 months ago) ... A Dyson vac is AWESOME. That's all I can say. And it costs as much as most awesome things cost. I want the purple one, just in case you're shopping later.

Same ole, same ole going on around here. Except Jimmy is home this week. Right now, he's "checking" my work on the taxes upstairs. Which means that my "background music" is the sound of his grumbling and mumbling, with the occasional "I'll be DAMNED!" thrown in for good measure. Ahhh.

Here's a quiz thing (I love quiz things) I saw on Robyn's journal:

Do I Remember

When John F. Kennedy was shot (Nov. 22, 1963) No, I was four years old. And considering the fact that my parents never even told me I was going to have a baby sister (when I was SEVEN years old), I'm fairly certain they never shared this tragedy with me.

When Mt. St. Helens blew (May 18, 1980) Only vaguely. I was in my fifth month of pregnancy, and we lived in a tiny little town north of Columbus, GA. I remember watching the news reports, but not much else.

When the space shuttle Challenger exploded (January 28, 1986) Definitely. I was at home that morning, with the TV on for company. The regular programs were interrupted to show the launching, since this flight was so newsworthy ... a "regular citizen" was part of the crew. I remember the cameras kept focusing on the faces of her parents as the launch got underway. It's the face of her mother, as she sees the explosion in the sky, that I will always remember.

When the 7.1 earthquake hit San Francisco (October 17, 1989) I don't remember this as clearly as I should. I do remember the news reports of the overpasses and bridges crumbling.

When the Berlin Wall fell (November 9, 1989) I was amazed.

When the Gulf War began (January 16, 1991) I had two children in elementary school, and I was busy, busy, busy with my volunteer work. It seemed like something very far away, and I felt safe in my world. Until a friend at the kids' school (the assistant principal) told me that her own son was over there fighting. That was the exact moment I had a personal realization of just what war means.

When OJ Simpson was chased in his white Bronco (June 17, 1994) This happened only a few months after my father's death. I was in Columbus, with the kids, at my mother's house. We had been working hard for days to get ready for a yard sale, and we had sort of collapsed in front of the TV that night. I wasn't really sure what was going on at the time, but it wasn't long before EVERYBODY knew.

When the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City was bombed (April 19, 1995) Again, one of those days that the TV was on to keep me company around here. I watched the news all day, and cried.

When Princess Di was killed (August 31, 1997) Oh, how I loved Princess Di. It was late on a Saturday night, and I was deep into an insane AOL addiction. Which means I was awake, online, and sloshing around in a wine bottle. I remember running back and forth to the TV in my bedroom to hear the latest on the car crash. And then the reports came that she was dead. It was surreal. A few days later, I cried my heart out as her funeral was broadcast on TV. The sight of her sons walking behind her coffin ... all the flowers that were tossed at her passing hearse ... Elton's song "England's Rose" ... going on seven years later, it's still one of the saddest things I can think of.

When Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold opened fire on their classmates at Columbine High School (April 20, 1999) Horrifying. My own two children were in high school. I watched as the story unfolded, crying for the parents ... and the kids.

When Bush was first announced President (November 7, 2000) I was sad that something that seemed so messed up could happen in a country as "orderly and organized" as the USA.

When the 6.8 earthquake hit Nisqually, WA (February 28, 2001) Well, I feel terrible. I don't remember this at all.

When terrorists destroyed the World Trade Center (September 11, 2001) Of course. I was driving in my car to a job interview, and the radio announced that a "small plane had just crashed into the World Trade Center" ... at the time, I thought it was an accident. By the time my interview was over, the second plane had crashed ... and the reports were clear that this was no accident. No small plane either. I rushed home to the TV, where I watched the rest of the day. Hell, I watched TV for days afterward. Jimmy called me from work that day ... he was at some seminar somewhere and they had no access to a TV. He called to find out just what was happening. I remember saying, "Oh my God, the building is collapsing, and there are still people in there." I remember Emilie calling me that night, and telling me she was scared. I remember the skies with no airplanes for days. I remember not being able to wrap my head around the number of people who were trapped in those buildings. I remember the faces of the people running through the streets of New York. Oh yeah, I remember. :(

Friday, March 26, 2004

"You want it all, but you can't have it ..."

Every time I hear that song, I remember a certain summer at the beach house when all I wanted in the world was a "conversion van". God. To me, it was heaven on earth to imagine the four of us, traveling in style down the highway, in our cushy seats ... watching a VHS tape. Whoo hoo! Anyway, sister Laura (fortified by our usual breakfast cocktail of vodka & whatever else we could find) started singing that song, only she changed the words ... and now when I hear this oldie-but-goodie, I hear Laura singing, "You want a conversion van, but you can't have ittttt". We thought it was hilarious, and it went on for months ... as did all our drunken humor. (Boooots!)

I bet you're wondering what I'm dying to have these days, aren't you? I thought so. You'll probably be shocked to find out that the object of my desire is none other than a VACUUM CLEANER. Go ahead ... laugh. Everybody knows I rarely clean anymore. But I've got such a hankering for a Dyson vacuum, I can hardly stand it. Problem is, I have a hunch that I'd buy it, use it a few times ... and the thrill would be gone. Ain't that the way it always goes?


My birthday was nice ... thank you for the Happy Birthdays. :-) I heard from everyone near and dear to my heart, and Brandy even took me out to dinner. I had crab dip, and flounder stuffed with crab and shrimp. And then I was stuffed. Literally.


Hope everybody enjoys the upcoming weekend. Do something to pamper yourself ... because you mean the world to me!

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

"It's my birthday too, yeah ..."

I know the date is burned onto your brain, written on all your calendars ... but I just wanted to remind you that tomorrow is my birthday. Yup. 45-freakin' years old. Halfway to 90. How did this happen??? *sob*

Because I've seen others with online journals do the same, I'd like to suggest ways YOU can celebrate my big day. :-)

How To Celebrate Dawn's Birthday(which is tomorrow, so get busy)

1. Promise to de-clutter every room in your house ... tomorrow.

2. Call your pet "Hayley" for the day. Follow your pet around and croon "Hayley-pooooo" until it gets annoyed and runs away with its ears laid back.

3. During a semi-important meeting or phone call say "I don't know. We should ask Dawn what she thinks of that."

4. Wear Birkenstocks.

5. Watch "All My Children", and talk back to the characters. Cry when Erica realizes what a bad mother she's been.

6. Change your computer wallpaper to a picture of me.

7. Call your significant other "Ya freakin' goof" for no particular reason.

8. Postpone cleaning the house for another week.

9. Eat a piece of bakery cake with yummy lard icing.

10. Take a really hot shower ... so hot that you come out all red and wrinkly.

11. Perform a random act of kindness.

12. Out of the blue, tell someone "It's Dawn's birthday today. She's 45, but she doesn't look a day over 24!" (A harmless little birthday lie never hurt a soul.)

Don't you dare forget to leave a comment telling me what you did!

Monday, March 22, 2004

There's somethin' about the southland in the springtime ..."

Well good grief. Two weeks went by without a journal entry here. I honestly don't know why time insists on flying the way it does.

I'm on the "big computer" now, as the laptop acquired some sort of spyware/wormy/virus thing last week. I'm too skeered to use it until it's rebuilt, so I'm back at the desk, using a real keyboard and mouse again.


Last week was Spring Break at Clemson ... Emilie and I planned a little trip to Charleston. And I'm sooo glad we did. We left on Tuesday and returned on Friday, which was a nice amount of time to see some sights, shop a little, and even walk on the shore of Sullivan's Island. I enjoyed all of it ... but mostly I enjoyed the time with my baby girl. And now I know the secret of how to spook the hell out of Emilie: put on a pair of old-fashioned black granny boots and stand outside the bathroom stall when she's in it. ;-)

Getting around downtown Charleston involves finding a parking garage and then using the feet God gave you. We walked ... a lot. It had to be good for me. Of course, the secret would be to KEEP WALKING now that I'm home again. Uh huh.


Sunday was the first day of spring. And Sunday night, the wind blew and the temps were in the 20's! But the leaves are peeking out, the jonquils are blooming, and the days are getting longer. I'll be sweatin' in no time.


Back to work tomorrow. And that's enough said about that.


Thought For Today:

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly." (Buddha)

Monday, March 08, 2004

"Some people call me Maurice ..."

Well, we had another weekend in South Carolina. Jimmy and Adam set up a working computer at the desk, so I can finally work on the taxes. I don't trust this laptop to keep me online long enough to post this journal entry, much less to file the taxes. So now I have no excuse. This week will be "Tax Week". And after that, "FAFSA Week". Yippee!


Soon after I got back home today from taking Jimmy to the airport, the noise started. Never a good sign. Seems our across-the-street neighbors finally got tired of their exhausting leaf-disposal routine every fall. And I'll be damned if they didn't have FOUR huge trees in their front yard murdered. Bastards. Walking out to get the mail this afternoon, I noticed their house felt a lot closer to the street ... and it's not as pretty as it was yesterday.

Chainsaws and woodchippers ... that was my excitement for today.


Outside My House Today:

High: 59

Low: 37


Friday, March 05, 2004

"All I know is you're my favorite mistake ..."

I've been sleeping with the bedroom windows open this week ... and I'm here to announce that I will not be sleeping under my new down comforter year-round. HOT. There's not much worse than waking up with a "glow".

The weather should be a little cooler next week, and I'm in the minority of folks who are all for that!


Got my hair cut today. Much better.


Jimmy called from the office 2 hours ago to tell me he was on his way home. Uhhhh. Yeah.



I have to say that I felt sorry for Sue. It was obvious that what happened with Richard really bothered her on a deep level. I felt bad for her ... it looked like real emotional pain.

But I had to laugh when I saw Jeff's face after Sue yelled at him. He was NOT expecting that.


Friday Five:

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?

Mrs. Spiegal, and I remember NOTHING about her. If she's still around, I guess she'd be in her 70's now. Weird. Oh my God, my MOTHER is in her 70's now. I feel way too old.

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?

The only cartoon I actually liked was The Roadrunner ... and Daddy had a lot to do with that. He loved that show, and would usually watch along with us, laughing louder than anyone.

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?

We fought almost as often as we got along, but my first best friend was Sabrina Webb. We still talk on the phone every few years. And I ashamed to say that the reason I don't go to visit her (she lives 2 hours away) is that I don't want her to see how fat I've become.

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?

Quisp! I don't remember eating a lot of cereal before 1972 or so ... before that, we ate a lot of oatmeal.

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?

We'd always have to change to "play clothes" after school ... what we did after that, I have no idea. Play? When I was a little older, I used to CRAVE the time when I could lay on my stomach across my bed and read. Yeah, I was a wild child.


Outside My House Today:

High: 71

Low: 61


Thursday, March 04, 2004

"Where have all the cowboys gone? ..."

Lately it's a really big effort to get groceries bought around here. When it's just me at home, I can scrimp by on what's been in the pantry and freezer for years. But every other weekend, the man comes home ... and I try to cook something fresh. That's just the way I am. Anyway, I am just so very tired of the whole grocery store experience. 25 years ago, when I first got married, I shopped once a week, like clockwork. With my $30 per week budget, I made a list and stuck to it. Even when the kids were home, I was pretty regular about it. Although the budget was a bit (ahem) higher.

So I said all that to say this: When I finally do drag my fat ass out to BiLo to shop for food and supplies, it pisses me OFF to find out they don't carry canned Iams cat food. That means I have to make a special trip to Publix later. And no, the crazy cat won't eat Whiskas.


Speaking of the cat, this morning I caught her in her newest warped behavior. After biting off a huge chunk of canned food (Iams, you know), she ran with it into the den, where she dropped it on the CARPET and proceeded to nibble daintily. After I yelled "CAT!" and grabbed it from her, and told her in no uncertain terms, that her nasty smellin' cat food belongs in her dish ... she did it again. Only this time she ran upstairs with it. Apparently the atmosphere in the breakfast room is just all wrong. Damn cat.


Survivor night! I can't wait to see Sue scream and yell at Jeff Probst. I hope Jeff can calm her down though ... she's quite scary.


Hoping to see at least one of my kids this weekend ... BOTH would be better. :-)


Outside My House Today:

High: 76

Low: 54

Mostly cloudy

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

"Can you hear the drums, Fernando? ..."

Oh yeah, I'm hating me some LiveJournal right now. I typed a whole entry offline ... and OH! It was funny stuff. (It was!) So you probably already guessed the rest.

I signed online, clicked the "update journal" button.


Grrr. GONE.

And yeah, usually I "copy" it when I finish, just in case. I remembered that I hadn't done it today the same split second that the "error" page appeared.

And now I don't feel like telling it all over again. Bah.


Brief recap:

Cleaned the upstairs.

Gonna clean the downstairs.

Called the phone company about the damn static-filled phone line.

Paid bills.


GRRRRR again.


Outside My House Today:

High: 71

Low: 54

Mostly sunny

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

"I'm alright, don't nobody worry 'bout me ..."

Today was a workday for me. (1 or 2 out of every 7 seems to be my routine ... don't hate me, I'm not making any money like this!) I arrived at "Miss Daisy's" house and was met by her creepy daughter, who informed me that, from now on, "Miss Daisy" wouldn't be joining us on our days out. (Sigh.) The daughter is a cheerless, grumpy soul, and I was sad to hear that I won't get to hear her Mom's stories any more. Also that's the end of eating lunch out, since the daughter never mentioned a lunch break ... we started at 10 AM, and I dropped her off when it was almost 6 PM. So now I have the "hunger headache" that I always get when I skip a meal. Not that my ass can't take a few skipped meals. I just always get a headache that won't go away until I sleep.


Tonight's Entertainment:
American Idol
Real World


Outside My House Today:
High: 68
Low: 55
Light rain

Thursday, February 26, 2004

"No shirt, no shoes, no problem ..."

Yeah, it's snowing. I guess it started about 7 AM, but then it stopped midday, and the roads all got a lot better. But now it's coming down again. I measured 4 inches on my deck just now, and it's coming down sideways, the winds are so strong. I always wish my Mom could be around when it snows ... she gets so excited about how pretty it is. And it is pretty when it's falling. The road in front of my house is white again, my driveway too ... so you know I won't be going out tonight. (Said as if I go out a lot anyway. Ha.)

I missed a haircut appointment due to the snow today. Have to wait another week. Drat.


Emilie called me last night as she was leaving a concert on campus ... she said she heard sirens and saw smoke. Then the whole thing was right in front of her ... a 3-story student apartment building right across the street from campus burned to the ground. She said it was a most incredible and shocking sight ... the flames so high in the sky, they were visible for quite a distance. Two hours later, the firefighters were still working ... the high winds last night made the fire so much worse.

Today, over 100 students have lost everything. One girl on the news said, "I didn't lose a lot, because I didn't have much. Just pictures. My pictures. But I did get my stuffed animal when I left." Oh gosh, that makes me cry. Thankfully NOT ONE student was even hurt.


The Bachelorette:Why, oh why, did Meredith tell Matthew that she would "be honored" to get a ring from him? Man, that made me so mad when she ended up choosing Ian instead. Matthew stayed so classy, even with his huge disappointment ... I hope he's got girls lining up for him back in Texas. I think she picked the wrong guy. But then again, she never called me to ask what I thought.


Whoooie, the snow is really flying out there. Let me go look out my window and pretend I live on the coast of Maine. See ya.


Outside My House Today:

High: 44 (at midnight)

Low: 29


Wednesday, February 25, 2004

"I can say anything crazy ..."

The snow is coming! The snow is coming!

Here I sit with no milk in the fridge, and only half a loaf of bread. And I call myself a Southerner.

"They" say we'll have 3 to 6 inches by the end of the day tomorrow. And "they" sound pretty positive. But as always, wait and see ... this year "they"'re about 0 for 4 in predicting winter weather madness.

(I would like to take this moment to remind my loved ones to use the good sense God gave you, and stay off the roads if you can.)


Serious question: What the HELL is that Quizno's ad with the floating rodents with birth defects all about? Is that supposed to make me want to run out and buy a sub sandwich? Because all it really does is cause a slight gag reflex, and then I have to change the channel! I swear ... they are absolutely haunting, and I totally don't understand the advertising brains behind it. Hell Hamsters singing, "We love the subs! 'Cuz they are good to us. The Quiznos subs. They are tasty, they are crunchy, they are warm because they toast them. They got a pepper bar!" ... Oh yeah mmmm, I'm starvin'!


OK, I guess that's it for today. (Yawn.) I have to go and set my VCR ... The Bachelorette is 2 hours tonight and will run right over The Newlyweds at 10:00. I have to tape one or the other, you know.


Outside My House Today:

High: 50

Low: 42


Tuesday, February 24, 2004

"I wish the real world would just stop hasslin' me ..."

Today I didn't stay online all day researching cruise stuff. Nay. Instead I stayed online all day researching hotels for the night before the cruise leaves.

The big confusion for my brain is this: some of the nicer hotels in the area offer "cruise packages", meaning basically that they allow you to park your car at their place and they will provide a shuttle to and from the pier. And that means we could save the $70 charge for parking at the pier. My "research" is proving that only the more costly hotels offer this service for "free" ... the cheaper places offer shuttles to the pier for a fee.

BUT ... I did find a Comfort Inn and Suites that have a cruise package for less than $100 a room ($89.95 to be precise). They are 2 miles from the pier, while the closest hotel offering a free shuttle costs $119 a night. Anyway, now I'm trying to decide. I'm assuming it's safe to leave your car in a hotel parking lot for 7 nights.

Decisions, decisions. And I haven't even STARTED thinking about clothes yet. Oy.


I was a bit disappointed in the Big Fat Obnoxious ending. What a line of crap came out of Steve's mouth at the end! How the Coys demonstrated "what family is all about" ... loyalty and togetherness and acceptance and blahdeblah. Because I sure didn't see that. I saw 2 brothers and a sister who were way too involved. I know I threw a few temper fits when my sister married her brain-damaged second husband and all ... and yeah, I was doing vodka shots at 10 AM on the day of her wedding, just to get through the ceremony ... but WHY would they give that much of a damn who their sister marries? It's not like they were going to all live together.

Now parents ... that's different. Parents have expectations and protective instincts and such. So I completely understood the parents' solemn faces. But when they showed Randi's brother CRYING at the wedding because he didn't want it to happen, well it just plain made me shiver. I know for a fact that Adam would never try to stop Emilie's wedding plans ... even if she married an 84-year-old man just for the money. He might privately say to me, "What the hell?" ... but he'd never threaten to not attend the wedding in protest. Because adult siblings just don't have a say in what happens in each others' lives. Period.

Whooboy, I'm gonna miss those Coys.

And no ... I'm not watching Fox's newest wedding reality crap with the "little person". Frankly, midgets give me the creeps. As in nightmares. *shiver*


Outside My House Today:

High: 57

Low: 44


Monday, February 23, 2004

"It's something unpredictable ..."

Geeeez. The time spent away from here just flies. I'll try to be better about coming here to write about nothing. Promise.


So little is happening in my tiny world. Even my thought processes have slowed. Zzzzz.

I spent 98% of my waking hours online today, reading and reading about cruising. We paid a buttload of money to Carnival Cruiseline to show me and Jimmy, Emilie, and Ms. Beth a great time in late May. The more I read about it, the more impatient I am for late May to hurry up and get here.

In case anyone cruising with me (or anyone else I love who's cruising in May *wink*) wants to read and learn more, here are a few good websites to peruse at your leisure:


Time for the last episode of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance". I must watch.


Outside My House Today:
High: 51
Low: 35

Thursday, January 15, 2004

"How's the world treating you? ..."

Oh, hi. You still here?

Sorry it's been so long. I was thinking I could make a bunch of excuses, like how I've been busy with doing laundry or organizing my CD's or updating Quicken or sitting on my ass watching the new TV. You want more excuses? I've got dozens.But truthfully, the reason I'm not updating regularly is that I'm still barely surfacing. Depression keeps tripping me up lately, always does that in the winter months. For 40 plus years, the gameplan has been "Fake It Until It Feels Better" ... so I guess that's what I'm trying to do.


So yeah, I decided to throw a whole bunch of Christmas money at this guy who works at Tweeter, and then he helped Adam and Jimmy load a huge TV on the back of Jimmy's truck. Of course they had to go back and get another one, because I changed my mind about the one I wanted on the way home from the store. But really all that matters is ... now I can sit out at my mailbox and watch TV. No kidding. This thing is humongous. Bad part is, I'm used to it already ... and the TV in my bedroom (29-inch screen) seems too tiny to watch. (Spoiled, I think they call it.)Jimmy shopped around for a home theater system to go with the new TV, and bought this supersonic Sony thing ... only decided he didn't like the way the DVD's and CD's load into it. So he'll be returning that for another one next time he's home. I haven't used the DVD player/stereo system part of it at all -- I'm stuck watching CMT ... MTV ... All My Children ... Driven: Jessica Simpson ... The Bachelorette -- you name it, I'm watching it. And now I can actually read football and basketball scores. :-)


Adam's truck died. We think it'll be raised from the dead for the right price though. Meanwhile, he's tooling around Clemson in my car. I told you having a one-day-a-week job made sense. Heh.


Supposed to be a rainy, cold weekend around here. At least we're above zero. I'm feeling for all those Northeasterners. 8 below in Boston tonight. Now that's cooler than being cool. ICE COLD! (Ahem.) Speaking of the weekend, Nick and Jessica will be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend ... FYI. I watch way too much TV, I guess. Oh well, it's better than staring at my fingernails.


I have just about finished putting all our CD's in notebooks. It feels great to get them all together in one place, and out of all the various racks in one room or another. Current count: just under 600. Including Milli Vanilli. Girl, you know it's true!


The Voice Within

Young girl, don't cry

I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

Young girl, it's all right

Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream

Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems

No one ever wants or bothers to explain

Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else

Look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend

Just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength

That will guide your way

If you will learn to begin

To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide

You'll never change if you just run away

Young girl, just hold tight

And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed

It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid

No one reaches out a hand for you to hold

When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else

Look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend

Just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength

That will guide your way

If you will learn to begin

To trust the voice within

Yeah...Life is a journey

It can take you anywhere you choose to go

As long as you're learning

You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it

You'll make it

Just don't go forsaking yourself

No one can stop you

You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else

Look inside yourself

Like your oldest friend

Just trust the voice within

Then you'll find the strength

That will guide your way

If you will learn to begin

To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry

I'll be right here when your world starts to fall


Thought For Today:

"Life must be lived forward, but it can only be understood backward."


Outside My House Today:

High: 53

Low: 45

Sunny and windy

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

"Lately there's been too much of this ..."



Last night I talked to my friend Sharon. She's out of a job again. I could hardly believe my ears when she told me that she'd been "let go" by that freakin' B1g L0ts. Also, she told me that the manager had resigned, and they had fired about 20 people. So there. I don't feel as guilty for quitting that one. I really liked the manager ... hope he's found something else to do. Sharon hasn't. She's in bad shape. She might come over later to use the computer here to do some searching and applying online.


"The Real World - San Diego" started last night (don't smirk at me, YES I watch too much TV) and I was surprised to see a pretty young priss from Anderson, SC is one of the seven roomies. She's a student at Tri-County Technical College, where my very own firstborn was enrolled for one semester several years ago. Anyhoo, I was totally getting into the whole drama of their first few days in the (as usual) gorgeous house on the water. A few of them drank themselves silly on the first night ... anyway, I was dismayed to hear our hometown girl (Cameryn, or something like that) go into detail about she "doesn't like YANKEES". And she ain't talking about the baseball team. Later on in the show, I said "Whoo hoooo!" when she appeared wearing a Clemson t-shirt ... and then I yelled "nooooooo!" when she bluntly tells everyone that she brought her vibrator with her to the house. Oh yeah! Make your Mama proud, girl.


Speaking of Clemson, I don't believe I have given mention of the Tigers' BRILLIANT performance in the Peach Bowl on January 2nd. It was soooo fun to watch as they won 27 - 14 over Tennessee. And if the refs had been doing their job, they never would have called back one of Clemson's touchdowns, and the score would have been even higher! It was a perfect ending to an incredible season ... and I can't wait until August!


Hope the first day of classes went smoothly for my kids ... I was thinking about you today!


Thought For Today:"The good, the bad, hardship, joy, tragedy, love, and happiness are all interwoven into one indescribable whole that one calls life. You cannot separate the good from the bad, and perhaps there is no need to do so." (Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis)


Outside My House Today:
High: 39
Low: 19
Partly cloudy

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

2003 in Q&A

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?

Passed a state board exam; quit 3 different jobs; got highlights in my hair; came ->this close<- to giving up or having a nervous breakdown, whatever you want to call it.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

The only resolution I made last year was about money. I wanted to be in less debt at the end of the year. And no thanks to me, I think we are. Yeah, I've made some more for this year ... they're at the bottom of this entry.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?


4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. But the death of a co-worker's daughter hit my husband and me like a ton of bricks.

5. What countries did you visit?

Give me a break, I haven't left the southeast.

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?

More money; serenity; weight loss.

7. What date(s) from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I can't think of any.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Not many achievements for me lately, so I'll just say it was making it through that silly CNA course I took. I had so little confidence in myself ... just the fact that I stayed with it until the end was a miracle.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Realizing that I was probably never going to work as a CNA, and that I had wasted all the money spent on that course was 2003's big failure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No injury, and only one bout with the fever/sore throat bug last January and one bladder infection in November. Not bad!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I didn't actually buy it ... my mother paid for it. But we have a new dining room table with 6 chairs. Nice. Maybe the best thing I bought was Jane Iredale mineral face powder. It costs a fortune, but it doesn't irritate my rosacea.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?Well it certainly wasn't MINE.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My husband's. He is unable (unwilling?) to understand Emilie's illness, and my depression confounds him as well. My mother's quickness to criticize others was pretty appalling too.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Most of our money goes to the "Kids" category, since we're paying rent and most living expenses for them. The next big chunk goes to our house payment. We also were able to put a sizable amount into savings this year. Yay, us.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My trip to visit Laura and Melody last January was a high spot, and tailgating always makes me smile.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?

Probably the Outkast song "Hey Ya", since it never failed to make me smile when I heard it.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter

iii. richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?


19. What do you wish you'd done less of?


20. How did you spend Christmas?

At home with the kids and Jimmy, Brandy, my mother and Kay, Josh and Beth.

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?

Oh no.

23. How many one-night stands?


24. What was your favorite TV program?

Survivor, always Survivor

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, I don't have much hate in me anymore.

26. What was the best book you read?

I didn't read anything memorable in 2003.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Can't think of any ... oh wait, maybe my huge crush on Justin Timberlake will count for this question. "I don't know what I'm thinkin' 'bout, leavin' here wit chu ..."

28. What did you want and get?

A dining room table? (weird question)

29. What did you want and not get?

Hardwood floors; new living room furniture; new bed? (same weirdness)

30. What was your favorite film of 2003?

I didn't see many, but I loved "Mona Lisa Smile"(that's probably considered a 2004 film) and "The Life of David Gale".

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

44 years old. And I don't remember my birthday very well at all.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Losing 100 pounds

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?

Comfort. Period. I don't own enough pajamas.

34. What kept you sane?My kids.35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I have to choose? Justin Timberlake ... Jessica and Nick ... Dave Matthews ... Josh Groban ... Rupert ... !

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The war.

37. Who did you miss?

Adam and Emilie.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Sharon ... she teaches me about perseverance through difficult times.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003.

I can bear a lot more than I thought. And the support and encouragement I give to my daughter plays a huge role in her ability to cope with her illness.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"It's hanging on when your heart has had enoughIt's giving more when you feel like giving upI've seen the lightIt's in my daughter's eyes"(Martina McBride sings this beautiful song.)

My New Year Resolutions:

Spend some time outside every day. Read every day. Continue shrinking the credit card debt. Take a walk 3 or 4 times a week. Keep my house in order.


Outside My House Today:

High: 48

Low: 34

Partly cloudy and windy

Thursday, January 01, 2004

"We'll drink a cup of kindness ..."

"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past." (Henry Ward Beecher)