"Say it all, say it right ..."

Life is quiet right now, so there's not much to blab about. I do hate this weather. It was in the 50's and drizzly yesterday, and about the same today, so far. Typical Spring in the southland though ... 85 degrees one day, sleet the next.

Hey! There's paint on the walls in Em's bathroom! Whooooo! And I'm crossing everything I've got, hoping that the woodwork will be done before the weekend comes to a close. I'm heading to Lowes today to shop for a new light fixture, new sink faucet, towel bars, and window blinds. I think I'll try to find a new rug too. I've already bought a new shower curtain and towels.

It's still not a sure thing, but my hopes are raised ... maybe before I'm 65, we'll have new flooring and I can invite friends over again! I'm so ashamed of my nasty old carpet and torn-up kitchen floor.

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If you're so inclined, please say a little prayer for my Mom. She's had a bad week, with her knee pain. She's waiting to hear about an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, and she's ready to have it replaced. If my Mama is wishing for surgery, we KNOW she's in some major pain. I hope this can all be resolved quickly for her, so she can be all well and feeling great by the time our family vacation rolls around in mid-September.

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Adam's coming home tonight!

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Hope y'all have a beautiful weekend. Don't be an April Fool!

"I find myself choking on all my contradictions ..."

Whoooooo! Cute boys with "fauxhawks" RULE.

Talent?? Thhbbbbtt ... who cares?!!?

OK, let me just get this out of my system and we'll move on. I know ... Chris Sligh messed up. He has no rhythm. He sang ahead of the beat and moved his body behind the beat, which really made me quite dizzy. And since Simon spanked him the first time, he's been like a scolded little boy ... afraid to let his personality really shine. And what I thought in the beginning was a killer sense of humor was starting to look more and more like an unearned air of self-importance and superiority. So, maybe it was time to end the torture and vote him off. His face had the look of someone totally expecting what was ahead, and when we overheard him say to one of the others, "You owe me 50 bucks" ... well, that leads me to believe he knew last night was his night. Buhbye.

And now Sanjaya seems to be embracing the fact that most people think he's a joke. But it pisses me off because he knows his performance can totally suck, and he'll still stick around for the next week's show.

OH! And while I'm complaining, let me add this: I'm jumping off the Lakisha train. She bores me ... her facial expression never changes.

New favorites: Jordin, Blake, and (maybe) Melinda. Melinda's a fantastic singer, but I'm dying to hear her sing something more contemporary. (Like from the early 90's!!!) And her surprised look of "ME?? " when the audience cheers for her is getting old.

I told you I was a cranky old bitch.

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Let's see ... what else.

Um.

Nope ... nothing.

Have a good Thursday.

"Love to wash in your old bathwater ..."

It's American Idol Wednesday, here at ATI.

My eyes! My eyes!!! That hairdo ate through my corneas.

Seriously. Is he mocking us?!? I'm stumped for words. But it's obviously keeping me entertained, waiting to see what he's going to come up with next.

Sanjaya singing "Bathwater"

It was another hot, steamy mess ... he forgot some words ... and I bet he'll still be there next week!

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Hey Adam. I bought some ply yesterday. See how easily influenced I can be? You tell me it tastes like plywood, and I want to eat one! Mmmmm ... ply. (I actually haven't tasted it yet, but it's on the menu for later today.)

"I will survive (hey hey) ..."

But it may take awhile.

I'm back from my fun in the sun. And I'm a year older. Whoo hooo!

Actually, that may have been my favorite birthday ever. I was near the ocean, I got to lay in the (low humidity) sunshine for a little bit, I got my picture taken with Don Vito of MTV's "Jackass" and "Viva La Bam" in Hooters (this old lady had no idea who he was until they told me) ...

... and I spent the evening in a nightclub with a Birthday Shot Glass hanging around my neck on hot pink beads ... and I danced the night away. Whoo hoo is RIGHT.

The trip was just about perfect. We didn't stay long enough to get on each other's nerves (OK, some of my nerves were "got on" at times ... but I'm a bitch), there was always somebody to hang out with and talk to, and the weather was absolutely perfect for being outside. We ate at Hard Rock Cafe the first night, and at Dick's Last Resort on my birthday. (My condom hat said, "Telemarketer Dick's Phone Sex Specialist" ... hee!) What a great group of women!

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But now it's back to the real world. The house is buried in cat hair fluffballs, floating around like tumbleweeds. And there's grocery shopping to be done. (sigh)

(I'm shocked to learn that Anna Nicole died because she had massive amounts of DRUGS in her system. So shocked.)

Before I go, I'll share with you my incredible Birthday Bling, provided by my sweet friend, Kathy ...

Dawn's 48, and doesn't look a day over 47.

"I want to be where the sun warms the sky ..."

Busy, busy ... you?

I leave for "Beach Weekend With The Girls" tomorrow around noon, and I'm still the Queen of Procrastination ... which means I have about 3 days worth of STUFF I wanted to do before I leave. I guess there's no time to vacuum. Drat.

I hope everyone will behave while I'm gone. And I really hope I come home to NO WALLPAPER in Emilie's bathroom. To dream of actual new paint on the walls is to wish for miracles, and I save my miracle-wishing for things that really matter in this world.

Like "Please don't let my thighs scare people on the beach."

"If you give, you begin to live ..."

Welcome, Spring. At 8:07 PM this evening, Spring will officially be here ... which explains the expected high of 56 degrees on Wednesday. I will not complain though, since the forecast for my weekend at the beach is predicting sunny skies, with temps in the low 80's. Whooooo!

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Enjoyed a very quick trip down to LaGrange to visit with Laura and Melody on Saturday night. It was a houseful, considering they have 3 big dogs and 2 cats. Adding me was bordering on overcrowding ... but they were gracious hosts. We yakked the day and night away.

I noticed an alarming (coincidence?) trend on this drive down Interstate 85, as well as the trip we made to Columbus two weeks ago. Drivers are INSANE. While speeding along at 90 mph, some people think nothing of attempting to change lanes without really looking to see if my ancient Toyota was there first. My horn sounded far too friendly, even when I was laying on the damn thing. I wish I had a dime for every time I said "motherf*cker!" on my trip this weekend. This is a sign of age, right? ... the old lady complaining is really picking up lately.

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Em is enjoying her time in Ohio with Jud's family. It's cold there, so I imagine their trip to Charleston on Thursday will be a warm treat for her.

Adam got to come home on Friday! They invited me to dinner on Sunday, after I returned from GA ... Adam made his special spaghetti sauce (YUM) and Brandy made a killer salad (YUM again). I tried my hand at the new Wii. And basically just loved seeing their faces for a little while. Tomorrow I'll drive Adam to the airport for his flight back to the North Country, where he'll stay for another 10 days. I know it's getting old for him, but he's being a good sport. (Being paid to do it also helps with the attitude, I'm sure.)

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Hey, I got my driver's license renewed yesterday. For the first time in 20 years or so, my weight is not a lie. Well, that's a lie. I actually gave them my goal weight, which is 17 pounds under what I weight right now. (Just in case I actually ever get there, ya know.) I'd say that's a major improvement over the HUNDRED pounds I was lying about on the last one.

I was unable to read the eye chart without my glasses. The woman kept telling me to try again, without the glasses, but my eyes just wouldn't cooperate. Now I have the little "A" on my license that means I can't drive without my "corrective lenses".

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Woke at 4:30 AM today, unable to drift back to where I wanted to be. Maybe this means today will be totally productive. I plan to walk on the treadmill, do lots of laundry, show up on time for a nail appointment, and buy a damn bra that fits.

"A little unlady-like, what can I say? ..."

The kid seems sweet as can be ... but for the love of God ...



More Sanjaya next week.

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I learned yesterday, after thinking that my fake nails were not holding up the way they should, that the tanning bed will "yellow" fake nails. Great. I'm thinking I'll take painter's tape with me and put a little bit on each finger before I bake. Does that make me the wife of a cheap engineer? Thought so.

Actually the tanning girl said they could order nail covers for me. If they cost on the same scale as the lotions they sell, I'm expecting about $25 a finger. I'll stick with the blue tape.

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Em leaves tomorrow for a trip to Ohio & Charleston with Jud. Have a great time!

And I've officially committed to a visit with Laura and Melody in GA for Saturday/Sunday. On the road again ...

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More TV talk ... I DVR'ed a new program on Fx, and watched it last night. "The Riches" ... I think it airs on Monday nights ... interesting. Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver star, and it's unlike anything I've seen on TV in a long while. And y'all know I've seen a LOT of TV in my 72 years. It's not getting good reviews, but it's definitely different. I'll stick around for a few more episodes to decide for myself.

Speaking of ... "Dancing With The Stars" starts next week! It's finally Christmas for Jimmy! I'll likely watch this season just to boo loudly when Heather Mills (Paul McCartney's money-grubbin' ex) is on. And one of these days soon ... April something, I think ... "The Sopranos" will return for the final nine episodes. This show is not really known for tying up all the loose ends it leaves laying around, but I really hope Tony's last line is "Whutta ya gonna do?" Best line ever ... especially when he said it to every person who extended sympathy to him at his Mother's death. Loved it.

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Happy Ides of March. And rest in peace, Julius Caesar. (Wikipedia teaches me something new every day.)

"You pay for what you get ..."

Happy Hump Day.

No real news or topics of discussion, therefore if you're so inclined, you're free to move along. I won't be hurt.

I shopped a little yesterday, trying to find something "cute" to wear for my upcoming birthday weekend in Myrtle Beach with the girls. After so many decades of buying clothes in basically TWO stores (Catherines or Avenue ... Lane Bryant before Avenue was born), and buying what fit, rather than having a "style" and buying what I loved, well ... I'm struggling. I ended up at Old Navy yesterday, and bought a couple of inexpensive warm weather tops. And they feel a little "young" for me. I know that's not true and doesn't really matter ... but I just have NO IDEA how I want to dress anymore!!! Arrrghhh.

The weather yesterday was ideal here in Greenville, South Cackilacky. Around 78 degrees, no humidity, nice sunshine. Today will be near the same, only with more clouds. After spending the entire winter huddled in front of a space heater, it feels excellent.

I'm attempting to work a little more here and there, as I find spare half-hour spots. My last paycheck was $16.28. Try to contain your envy. That's what not working on a weekend (the Columbus trip) will do for me. I'm probably going to have another pitiful paycheck though, since I'm 80% sure I'm headed back to GA this weekend to spend the night at Sister Laura's house, and then the next weekend, I'll be acting the fool in Myrtle Beach with crazy women. (The talk now is who is getting what tattoo while we're there. I hope I don't come home with a "tramp stamp" above my saggy ass. Jimmy would totally disown me, and he's barely tolerating me now. I really am thinking of getting a henna tattoo though ... maybe not tell him it's not permanent, just to see how much disapproval he can project though his eyes, since he's basically given up talking to me. I know, I know ... I'm evil and I'm going to hell. By they way, is there a grammar rule on how long you can keep writing inside parentheses?)

The painter is enjoying a hiatus. He told me that the 1st bathroom would be started Monday night. But I heard, through Emilie, that he was easily talked into more time off after learning she'd be gone all next week. It's her bathroom, so I guess it will be easier to do what he wants to do (remove the toilet, mirror, and eventually change the light fixture and faucet) without her needing to use the room. I do have many doubts that he will even be close to finishing in one week's time though. And I really AM being patient with this process, y'all. I'm not bitching. Remember, he CHOSE to do the work. But damn. It's going on 5 months now. (She said, with teeth clenched.)

Complain, complain, bitch, whine, complain. That's about it!

"Ready? Let's roll onto something new ..."

Mid-March already. I'll be 85 years old in a few years, the way time is flying.

The weekend was over before it started. We did have a nice Saturday night ... Em and Jud brought the puppy for some playtime in the dog park at Cleveland Park. I got invited to go along, and I loved seeing all the dogs! Every butt was sniffed (not by me), and Allie was so sweet. She ran around and said hi to everybody there.

We came back here, I cooked dinner, then we played a new game Brandy brought over. It's called Quelf, and it was the craziest game I've ever seen. Totally random rules. (I had to spend a good part of the game holding hands with Jimmy, with my other hand on the floor.) We decided it'll be a great game for the beach, where Grandma will provide the silliness and the rest of us will be drunk. Yay.

Don't know how I feel about the early time change thing. "Springing Forward" is always more difficult for me than "Falling Back" anyway. It was dark when I woke up this morning at 7:00 AM.

I got out and took a walk late yesterday afternoon. Jimmy said I was gone for almost an hour. I was totally enjoying listening to my music, and the weather was just about perfect. And I've already done 45 minutes on the treadmill today. Go me.

Today is paperwork/bill paying, and support group tonight. That hot little boy chef is leading group again tonight, so I'll be in the front row ... wishing I was 25 again. *sigh*

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(Waving to Adam in Canada ... hey! I still miss you. Have you heard Weird Al Yankovic's parody of Green Day's "American Idiot"? It's called "Canadian Idiot", and I'd post a link to YouTube if I wasn't so damn lazy. He must not have a video out to that particular song, because the only things there are other people's homemade stuff with the song playing. Anyway, it made me laugh and think of you. Hope your beard stays unfrozen this week. One week from today, you can come home and play Wii! Wooo hoooo! I can only imagine how happy you are aboot THAT!)

"Sick sick bit, just can't quit ..."

"American Idol" spoilers ahead ... that's my official warning to you slowpokes who haven't seen the show this week. Now I'm covered. No whining. (Good LORD, the things I do for you people. I do and do and DO.)

Anyway, was it just Emilie and me who were aghast and slightly disillusioned when TWO of the three judges (the musical "experts", remember?) had no idea who 311 was? I understand some of us elderly folks in the world DO fall behind on the latest trends ... it's hard to keep up with what's hot right now --- wearing your hoodie "hood" on your head or not ... purse the size of a small piece of luggage?? ... bald women?? ... Chuck Taylors or flipflops?? -- all that and I still have to remember to take my Geritol and eat prunes. It's too much.

Back to AI. So Tuesday night, out jumps Blake, and he starts singing "All Mixed Up" by 311. I sat up in my chair, and said, "HEY! It's a popular song! Finally!!!" I get so sick of hearing all the older stuff. (Although my Mama feels exactly the opposite ... when she recognizes the song, like that one time Fantasia sang "Summertime" ... she's so happy. All the other stuff, she's hearing it for the first time.)

So Blake did a 311 song that's "only" about 10 years old ... and RANDY (the judge who knows everything) says, "New song to me Dawg ... I'm not familiar with that one ... blah blah blah." Em and I looked at each other with confusion, but we knew Paula would straighten him out. Paula said, "Yeah ... don't know that song at all .... but you looked great singing it ... blah blah blah."

Wha?? I can't even remember what Simon said, because I was now deep into trying to figure it out. Aren't those three supposed to be all up in the popular music scene? I've lost faith in Paula Abdul, y'all. I was standing strong beside her as she was raked over the "she's on painkillers, she can't sit up, she's slurring her words" coals. I was still her girl. Maybe I was a little jealous. Dunno. Now I'm forced to rethink my Paula-love. Disillusioned, I tell ya.

Sick. I'm sick. American Idol watchin' is the The Devil. Save me, y'all.

Oh. oh. oh! Thank you America, for sending that Antonella chicka packing last night. She chose the one song that's so damn easy to sing, even I sound good when I sing along with it in the car. To quote the brilliant Simon: "You've gone as far as you can go in this competition". Penthouse, here she comes.

But America. WHYYYYYYY is that little boy/girl Sanjaya still sitting there? I know he's young, and I know his hair is better than mine ever was or will be. But damn. To get rid of Sundance just because he tried and failed at a Pearl Jam song was so harsh. He got extra credit from me, just for singing something from Pearl Jam. It brightened my night considerably, amidst all the Stevie Wonder and John Mayer. Don't get me wrong, I love me some John Mayer. Only I don't like Sanjaya singing it. (shiver)

It's bound to happen, but I'll be sad to see the local boy, Chris Sligh, get the boot one of these days. Aside from the fact that I'm getting the vibe that he wears a "WWJD" belt buckle, he seems like a fun guy, and I hope he goes far in the competition.

Here's my expert opinion on the Final Two: Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones. They are both amazing. On Wednesday night, I watched Melinda's entire performance with my mouth slightly hanging open ... so fixated was I on her totally polished and professional TALENT. If another Taylor Hicks wins this year, I don't know what I'll do. Don't mess this up again, America. Fuckers.

"Make the best of this test and don't ask why ..."

So I took a day to recover from the drive.

We left on Friday morning to visit family in Columbus GA. Nice, sunny day ... made for a lovely trip. (If you don't count the tension in the car.) Oh, and my earbuds for the new-to-me iPod were drowned in a sea of spilled sweet tea. Only one side works now. Guess I'll look for an affordable replacement soon, since I was truly enjoying my new toy.

Columbus was in a mess when we got there. On Thursday evening, an F2 tornado had torn a path through the north end of town where my Mom lives. Thankfully, the damage was all around her neighborhood ... not IN it. Jimmy got out on Saturday morning and took some pictures of some of the devastation to the businesses in the area. There were many homes destroyed, as well. Mother was without electricity for about 20 hours, and had no cable TV (GASP ... QVC withdrawal!!!) for 48 hours. But less than 2 miles from her, people lost their homes.

Sister Laura drove down for a few hours on Saturday ... and we enjoyed some time at Michael and Patti's house that night, as the family celebrated Hallie's 17th birthday. (17!!?! How is that even possible?)

All in all, a nice weekend ... enjoyed seeing everyone. Well, everyone except the owner of the restaurant where Sister Kay and her kids work ... he's an asshole, who thinks he should be on tour with the Blue Collar Comedy guys. Thhhbbbt. And we never got to see our nephew Josh, who had a bad stomach bug. :-(

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I was thinking outloud while I was there, tossing around the idea of putting together a small family reunion for my Mother's side of the family this summer. There were nine of us cousins who saw each other on a pretty regular basis while we were growing up, and now we only say hello at funerals anymore. And the older generation is down to my Mother, her brother and his wife, and another brother's wife ... only 4 of them over the age of 70. Dat's it. Sad. Anyway, I was thinking maybe I could pick a Sunday in the summer, and a central location like the Pine Mountain/Callaway Gardens area in GA, and send invites. Everybody could bring food and drinks, and we'd all get to know each other again. Key Word: THINKING.

So then the phone rang, and it's my cousin calling to speak to my Mom about my Aunt's recent discharge from rehab, after her heart bypass surgery ... and I hear my Mom telling him, "Oh yes ... Dawn is planning a reunion for us all this summer!"

Gotta learn to SHADDUP.

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*WAVE* *AIR KISSES* *ANOTHER WAVE* ... to Adam, who is all the way up in Montreal again. This time, for fifteen-freaking days. I hope it goes by really fast for you, honey. We miss you.

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I'm taking advantage of the "available to me for life" psychologist today. I'm going to try to talk as fast as I can while I'm with him, so I can get it all OUT. I'm hoping he'll whip out the narcotics AND the Valium, but he'll probably just make me stand up and say "I AM WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES" ... over and over again, until my time is up. We shall see.

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Tomorrow is the night Jimmy will be hosting his poker buddies here. I should probably start to think about what to throw out on the table for them to eat. I can't decide between taco soup in the crock pot, or a layered Mexican dip with tortilla chips.

Either way, I'll be in the bedroom with American Idol ... with my Antonella-hatin' self.

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Thanks Amy for the compliments!!! I don't hear it very often, and it's hard for me to "just say thanks" ... I should probably add that to the list for Dr. Russell today.