Monday, January 30, 2006

"Guess who's back? Back again ..."

Where the heck have YOU been?


Alright, I know ... slacking on the updating. (Thanks for the kick in the rear, Brandy!) The main, true, real reason I haven't been writing is this: I hate to bore you good people. And there has been nothing - really, NOTHING - in my head worth sharing with sane folks lately.

I've recovered from the kidney/uti business. It was slow-going, and I will be the first to admit that I googled "Kidney Transplant" more than once. I didn't think the pain was ever going to disappear. But it did, just like it was never there to begin with.

So last week, I was pretty much useless ... pain in my back, crushing fatigue ... I was supposed to update here too? Forget that nonsense! :-)


Em came to town today to take the GRE exam. Adam left town today to get back to the beach ... another week in Puerto Rico.


The Wound Care Nurse pronounced Grandma F's pressure sores healed. Amen.

It was naptime when I got there today, and I don't think she ever got fully awake while I was there. Looked like good sleepin'.


I've been playing with while I've been sitting at the computer today. If you like to listen to music while you're at the computer, you should check it out. (I might like it even better if I was upstairs at the "big" computer with the better speakers ... or even some headphones.)


I'm feeling ever-so introspective these last few days. I'm sure nothing will come of it, as usual.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

"Call 1 - 800 - WaaWaaWaa - WaaWaaWaaWaa ... "

I came back to un-whine.

I'm a grown-ass woman, and if I want someone to bring me something, I need to express the want, and be done with it. To expect Jimmy to pamper me when I'm sick, and read my mind about what I want for dinner ... when I didn't even really know what I wanted myself ... is immature and whiny.

Bad Dawn.


I am feeling a bit better today. I did go out to see Grandma F this afternoon, and stopped by the grocery strore on the way back. After bringing the bags into the house, and getting a meatloaf in the oven, I will admit that I am done for the day. Beat. Give out. Tuckered. But that's to be expected, I guess.

Grandma F seemed happy to see me. She was angry and "ready to leave this place" though. They keep insisting she go to therapy, and she just will not consider it. An impasse.

She enjoyed some "honey-thick" lemon-flavored iced tea that I took over there for her. I ordered a case online last week, and it came today. Little 4-oz. cups that come pre-thickened ... they seem easier on the taste buds than that crap you stir into regular drinks. She said it didn't taste like tea, but it was good. We got her dentures cleaned up, and she "rinsed off" with a warm washcloth, and I brought her dirty laundry home with me. She got a letter from Shundra too, so we read that.


OK ... I'm going to take it easy while I get some laundry done. Y'all have a good Tuesday night. xo

"Life is bigger ..."

Can watching the Panthers die in Seattle cause a kidney infection??!

I gave in to the pain on Sunday afternoon, and asked Jimmy to drive me to one of those "doc in a box" places. There comes a time when you just know you need a damn antibiotic.

So I got one. I took the first one around 6 PM, and settled on the sofa to watch the game. Whooo. Brandy came over to watch with us, and Jimmy scrambled some eggs for our supper. Brandy said that whenever she had symptoms of a UTI, her stepmonster - er, stepdad - used to make her chug a beer ... and she would always feel better. Annie Lennox said it best ... "Who am I to disagree?" So I drank a beer. Since it was the first thing I'd had all day, it was the best Miller Lite ever. And I'll admit, I did feel better. Slightly.

Brandy gave up on the game at half-time, and as soon as she left, Jimmy fell asleep in the chair. I laid there thinking, "If we were watching ballroom dancing, he'd be awake!" After 30 minutes or so of snoozing, he decided it was time to go to bed. By then, the game was pretty hopeless ... so we closed up the fireplace and went upstairs to bed at 9:30 PM. We are old farts.

After going upstairs, I guess the beer wore off. I was in pain all night. Monday was spent wondering when the antibiotic was going to kick in. I felt "ok" ... enough that I thought I could make it through the things I needed to do. But when I'd start to do something, my strength would not show up. I felt like overcooked crap yesterday. And it only got worse as the day wore on.

I took the 2nd dose of Levaquin and waited for Jimmy to come home and "helppppp meeeee" ... only I forgot it was Jimmy coming home, and not Dr. Joe Martin from "All My Children".

We've talked about it before and we both agree ... Jimmy is not a nurturer. Jimmy wants to be left ALONE when he's sick, and he will do the same for you. I, on the other hand, will nurture you until you get well just to GET AWAY from me. And I expect the same when I'm sick. I want someone to bring me food and drink, and fluff my pillow, and hold a hand to my forehead, and look worried.

So back to yesterday ... in pain, frustrated, lonely ... poor Jimmy came home to THAT. He brought a small bag from Wendy's upstairs and asked me if I "wanted any" ... and showed me 3 small, nasty-smelling chicken nuggets. I made a face, he said, "No?" ... and he ate another one. The man brought me his leftover chicken nuggets for dinner. Then he said he had also bought a salad there too, did I want half?

Now to be fair, he HAD asked me what I wanted when I called him, crying in pain, earlier. I had said, "Nothing." This is a man who takes everything at face value. I said, "Nothing" ... he heard, "Nothing". End of discussion.

So I got nothing. When I would have loved a cheeseburger and maybe some fries. Even just fries would have made me feel cared-for. And if he had brought home chocolate ice cream, I would have felt like a princess. I know, I'm fat and don't need to be eating those things. But I was sick. And I needed some nurture, damn it. He then proceeded to leave me alone in my misery until he was ready to go to bed. (Sometimes treating people the way you want to be treated ain't the way to go.)

By that time, I was in some serious pain. Including my right kidney. Not good. (I have had one other kidney infection in my life, and I remember the pain. It was Vicodin-pain. It took weeks to feel back-to-normal.) Part of my tears last night were from the dread of going through that again, and part were from the actual misery. I was torn between heading straight to see a doctor, and the knowledge that I was already taking a strong dose of antibiotic. I knew they could give me some painkiller ... which was a really good reason to get in the car ... but it hurt so bad I didn't want to move.

Around 10 PM, I decided I'd go and call the "Nurse-Line" provided by our insurance company. I was going to ask what they thought I should do, considering I had only taken two doses of the antibiotic. I kept thinking that any minute now, it was going to kick in and I was going to be feeling better.

And as soon as I hobbled downstairs and into the kitchen ... that's exactly what happened. The kidney pain just vanished. Then I cried again because I was so relieved.

Is there an end to this long and boring-to-everyone-but-me story? No, actually. I did sleep for a 3-hour stretch last night, which is a vast improvement over the 3 nights before that. And the pain in my kidney is as good as gone ... it feels like I got punched there, really hard, about a week ago. Just the hint of a memory of pain. I can live with that. Peeing is still no fun, but that has improved, as well. Today I will take Dose 3 of 5, and hope for as dramatic a change as I got last night.


On Saturday night, I watched the Miss America pageant. I used to ALWAYS watch it, back in the day. But in the last decade or more, not so much. Don't know why I settled in to watch it on Saturday, especially since it started at 11:00 PM. But I was so surprised to see that Miss Georgia was a little girl that Adam went all through school with ... elementary through high school. She went to UGA, and I guess entered the pageant stuff there. Anyway, there she was ... Monica Pang ... looking every bit like someone who could win that silly thing. She had the very best talent of all the top 5. She was poised, she was lovely. She lost to Miss Oklahoma. Monica was robbed. She's the prettiest 1st Runner-Up ever. The local news did a segment on her last night ... interviewing her teachers at the high school. They all knew she was "something special". Chuh, right.


I've been feeling bad for teasing Jimmy about his gay TV habits. So I've decided to list all the ways the man I married is MANLY:

1. He knows how to fix stuff.

2. He wears Gold Bond powder.

3. He eats everything with hot sauce on it.

4. He farts and burps with pride.

5. He gets stuff from the basement or the attic when I need it.

6. He used to make stuff ... like bookshelves and tables.

7. He drives a truck. (This barely made the list. You know how I feel about that truck, Jimmy.)

8. He hates to go shopping.

9. He has supported his family, without complaining --- well, not much complaining --- for 27 years.

10. He mows the grass.

11. He takes the garbage can to the street once a week. And he brings it back in when I don't.

12. And seriously, the man knows how to fix stuff.

All of that, and he still enjoys good ballroom dancing on TV. :-)

Saturday, January 21, 2006

"Hearts and thoughts, they fade away ..."

Rainy Saturday here in South Carolina. At the moment, I am stranded here ... Jimmy took my car to the dealership today to have "7 or 800 hundred dollars wortha work done". They brought him back home, since it was going to be a full day's job ... and he just dashed out of here in his truck to go BACK to the dealership. They called to tell him he could come and see something up under the hood. I have no idea. But he was out of here so fast, I think it must be Catherine Zeta-Jones up under there. Oh, and now it's going to cost $1,100. I kept trying to tell him that all we needed to do is add another $110,000 and we could buy that BMW. My powers of persuasion are pitiful these days.


We made a quick trip to Clemson yesterday, to help Emilie get her Internet back up and working. (Her laptop slid off her bed yesterday and crushed the wireless card.) Jimmy wanted to check to make sure it was just the card and not the computer that was messed up ... turns out both are broken. At least the port in the computer where the wireless card goes was messed up. He took a wireless card (?) that plugged into the USB port, and all is well for the moment.

We took Em and Adam T out to dinner ... then parted ways so that they could go and buy groceries, and we could drive back home again.


While I was in Clemson, I began to feel sick. And felt worse and worse as the night wore on. I had all the symptoms of a raging bladder infection (UTI). When we got home, I started drinking water ... and today I feel a bit better where that is concerned. But now I have a headache, sore throat and muscle aches ... I feel like I didn't get enough sleep last night. Ugh. I'm still power-drinking the water, and trying to carry on, my wayward son.


We did make it home in time for Jimmy to watch his new addiction: "Dancing With The Stars". There is something wrong with that boy.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

"This is our lives on holiday ...."

Fast day today. And I don't even know where it went.

Emilie came by for a quick stop, in town to see her doctor. We went to On The Border for some lunch, and then she was *poof* gone again.


I spoke to the Speech Therapist this morning on the phone. She said, after watching Grandma F at breakfast this morning, that Grandma needs to stay on "honey-thick" liquids. She was, however, going to change her from a pureed diet to "mechanical soft", which basically means no more blender food, but soft foods with ground meats. I think Grandma will enjoy that more.

She asked me what was the deal with her horrible attitude. I told her, "That's just the way it is." I planned to go in this afternoon, with an attitude of my own. I was going to tell Grandma I thought it was silly to protest so much over a few simple exercises, etc., etc. But when I got there, I found Mary Sunshine in Grandma's bed. I don't know what the heck happened, but she was all smiles and agreement today! She had been up to the bathroom (with help, of course) three times already, and was ready to go again when I got there.

After that was done, the CNA told her that the doctor wanted her out of bed as much as possible, and did she think she could stay up until after dinner. (This was about 3:15 PM.) Grandma said she thought she'd be alright with that. She sat in her wheelchair and ate half a cup of pudding that I had brought over for her. She told me that she had tried to cooperate this morning during therapy because she didn't have to go to the bathroom every 10 minutes. Then she drank a good amount of water, and we went for "a tour". I pushed her all around every hall in the place. We sat and watched the birds in the activity room for a little while. Her nurse, Erica, noticed her as we wheeled by and told her how good she looked today. Grandma said, "Thank you." I could hear the Twilight Zone soundtrack in my head all afternoon.

But it was good. Very, very good.

They drew blood last night to check her iron level, B12 level, and folate level. The doctor ordered this testing after reviewing her last bloodwork and seeing that her hemoglobin was low. Erica said the doc suspected anemia. She said to expect to hear some results from that late tomorrow.


Here's a silly little quiz thing I found on another journal I read online:

What were you doing 10 years ago? Let's see ... 1996. I was living right here, with two teenagers in high school. I weighed about 30 pounds less than I do today. I was poised on the brink of an AOL addiction that would consume 5 years of my life, and almost kill my marriage and me. I was a "Band Mom", which means I went to a lot of high school football games and marching band competitions. Seems like forever ago, seems like yesterday.

What were you doing 1 year ago? Same damn thing I’m doing right now. Sitting in front of the computer and reading other people's journals. I was poised on the brink of falling off the Weight Watchers diet, and gaining back 20 of the 35 pounds I had lost. Jimmy was jetting off to Puerto Rico, and I spent time every week in a lesbian bar, listening to Adam play drums with Blue Pelican Groove. I was also dealing with a monster depression in my head.

Five snacks I enjoy: Popcorn with Parmesan cheese, chips & salsa, red grapefruit (peeled and eaten in sections like an orange), chocolate ice cream, Lay's Dill Pickle potato chips

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics: "Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks, "Galileo" by Indigo Girls, "Vienna" by Linda Eder, "Closer To Fine" by Indigo Girls, "Why" by Annie Lennox

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire: 1. Buy a house on the beach. No, I’d buy several houses on the beach, all together, like a compound. My kids, my sisters, everybody who's anybody to me could have a house there. 2. Buy a BMW 760 Li Sedan. In Titanuim Silver Metallic. 3. Hire someone to clean my house on a daily basis. 4. Pay off the student loans. 5. Buy another Ragdoll kitten. (or two!)

Five bad habits: 1. I bite my cuticles. (Gross, I know.) 2. I cuss like a sailor when I'm driving and other drivers annoy me. 3. I get far too upset over little things. 4. I buy things we don't need. 5. I eat for emotional reasons.

Five things I like doing: 1. Perusing the Internet. 2. Watching TV. 3. Rubbing Miss Maggie Belle's belly while burying my nose in her neck. (She tolerates this as long as a good kitty can.). 4. Reading books and magazines. 5. Cooking.

Five things I would never wear, buy or get new again: 1. I will never wear leggings again. (You're welcome.) 2. I will never buy a McDonald's milkshake again. 3. I imagine I will never have another brand new car again, at least that's what I've been told. 4. I've also been told I'll never have another brand new house again either. :-( 5. "Never" is such a strong and final word, I can't think of anything else!

Five favorite toys: 1. My Sleep Number bed 2. My laptop. 3. The Rabbit (not really mine, it belongs to Jimmy. But I'm never drinking wine again, anyway.) 4. My Dyson. 5. Mario Kart for my Game Cube.


Gotta go now and make some turkey sandwiches for Jimmy to take to his poker game tonight. Just call me June Cleaver.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

"Up on the airplane, nearer my God to thee ..."

Adam is winging it to Puerto Rico, as I type. Safe travels, son ... and have a good trip!


Golden Globe Awards Snark:
(I know you didn't watch because you knew I'd tell you all about it.)

* Harrison Ford is too old to wear an earring. Only old rock-n-roll singers can pull that off.

* John Travolta said Pierce "Bronson". Ouch.

* Best Acceptance Speech: Steve Carell from "The Office"

* Best Dressed Female: Kiera Knightly

* Best Dressed Male: George Clooney

* Gwyneth Paltrow has adopted a fake Irish accent in the same annoying way that Madonna grew a British one. I think they both need to get over it.

* All of a sudden, I stopped liking Jamie Fox.

* Not a damn woman there wore a bra. Drew Barrymore's nipples were downright distracting.

* "Brokeback Mountain" won Best Movie, Drama.

* "I Walk The Line" won Best Movie, Musical/Comedy.

* The Desperate Housewives make me gag.

* It ended on time.

There. You can thank me for watching it for you next time you see me.


Grandma F ate some applesauce while I was there today. I also took a small fan in, to place by her bed, in an effort to compromise on the room temperature. Her roommate gets too cold, and Grandma stays too warm.

She was really quite angry when I got there today ... "ready to chew nails", I believe she said ... over the whole therapy torture. She was feeling calmer and happier by the time I left. I wish she could just go with the flow, where the therapy is concerned. I think I remember saying that about her when she was at Shady Acres.


The wind is blowing so hard again this evening ... wonder if that branch of doom hanging over the deck will finally come down tonight.

Time to start dinner.

As ever,

Monday, January 16, 2006

"I have these pictures and I keep these photographs, to remind me of a time ..."

Now then.

I've been doing some thinking (warning!) and have decided that having unstructured time is a real no-no for me ... on a regular basis, anyway. A little unstructured time is good for the soul. But 24/7 unstructured is no good for me. When I was seeing a therapist last year, I began to see how it contributes to my depressive times. And besides that ... I just don't seem to ever get a damn thing done.

Which brings me to my January Lightbulb Moment: I am going to follow a schedule. Yup, I am going to get out of bed at a reasonable hour, and follow a schedule ... one which will allow me plenty of time for my Internet-perusing, reading my books, and other such "selfish" pursuits. But following this schedule will also ensure that I'm up and dressed with the rest of America, and getting some chores done too.

This probably sounds like I've lost my mind to you working-folks ... but the whole schedule thing is difficult for me. I can always find something to entertain my mind, and I can go from one time-wasting experience to the next, without so much as a passing thought toward what I SHOULD be doing.

So wish me luck. Organization and productivity can't be too far away.


Grandma F has written another song for her famous Broadway musical, "The Physical Therapist Is The Devil." I think she's going to call it "I'm Strong Enough Now".

Today she told me all about how she didn't need to go to the therapy room ... she could do all those exercises in the hallway. I am perfecting my sympathetic "Hmmm", which I do in between each verse ... y'all should remember to ask me to do it for you the next time you see me.

She did tell me a cute story about how she lost her glasses for 3 days once, and then found them hanging in a tree outside. She had been working in the yard, and they wouldn't stay up on her nose, so she took them off and hung them in the tree. Only she forgot that part when she couldn't find her glasses. I think they call that "CRS". ;-)


Nice weekend ... Michael and Patti came ... and when we weren't eating, we talked about food. Not good. Not good at all. But that Pasta Milano was soooo good. Twice it was good, since I ate the leftovers while I watched an old movie on TV Sunday afternoon.

The movie was "A Place In The Sun", with Montgomery Clift and Elizabeth Taylor. I enjoyed watching Shelly Winters play the poor, pregnant girl that Montgomery Clift wanted dead and gone ... never knowing (until last night) that Shelly Winters passed away on Saturday at the age of 85. I liked her in "The Poseidon Adventure", and she made me laugh as Roseanne's blustery old grandma back in the 90's.


Carolina Panthers are on their way to the Championship game against the Seattle Seahawks next Sunday. I was worried they may not make a good showing against the Bears yesterday, but man. The Bears' quarterback was weak. And he uses too much sunscreen. (That boy is PALE.)


Golden Globe Awards tonight ... gonna watch to see what everybody's wearing. I've been doing it since 1985, why stop now?

"I'll be back ..."

Just a quick note ...

I've decided to go back to my old routine of updating here in the late afternoon or early evening. Hopefully, it will mean I can be more productive in the morning hours of my day ... instead of sitting here trying to clear the cobwebs and write.

Y'all have a good Monday, and I'll type more later.

Friday, January 13, 2006

"Talk about things and nobody cares ..."

I was going to do this week's Friday Five, but the questions this week are crappy. I guess it's not easy to come up with five great new questions every week, but The Friday Five ain't what it used to be.

God, that sounds stupid. I'm 12.


Jimmy got home safely last night.


I'm going to act a bit like a housewife today, because Michael and Patti are driving up here tonight. I know it's pretty well documented what a procrastinating, lazy-ass I am ... but when faced with the prospect of "other people" coming to my house, well, I've been known to grab a dust rag. That's the plan today. That, and running over to sit with Grandma F for a while. And a quick trip to the grocery store.


I sure do wish I had something else to write about so I wouldn't have to get off my butt and do all that stuff I just wrote up there.


Thursday, January 12, 2006

"You're broken when your heart's not open ..."

Just spent a very frustrating morning looking at health insurance options for Emilie. (She was dropped from our group plan on January 1st because she's 23.) From everything I've been reading, it looks like the chances of her being approved are slim to none, based on her medical history ... and even if she IS approved, she'll have a $5000 deductible, and a monthly premium equal to 2 car payments.

I should really get past all the speculation by actually talking to an agent. I filled out one of those online forms on Tuesday, and have been flooded with e-mails and phone calls since then. Maybe today I'll pick one out of the crowd and talk to them.

I did read today that Starbucks offers nice benefits to all of their employees who work over 20 hours a week. Something to keep in mind as a last resort, maybe.


Speaking of jobs ... hope your 1st day at work went well, Em! I can't wait to hear the details. xo


Heyyyy Brandy! I'd be more likely to fall for that comment you made on the last entry if I had never seen your reaction to Baby Evan's unbearable cuteness. :-) I know I'll have to wait, but I'm fairly certain I'll have a Grandbaby one day!

Also, I don't know if that last entry seemed as if I was complaining about being a Mom ... but if it did, I messed up getting my point across. Because even though life really never got around to being "normal" again after the kids were born, I would never wish to go back and change anything about my "career choice". My children made me who I am. They formed my heart. And I can't imagine my world without them in it.

So just to clarify ... I ain't complainin'!


I didn't write yesterday because there is absolutely NOTHING going on around here. And my brain is on Winter Break ... it happens every year about this time. I can't come up with an interesting topic of conversation to save my life.

I did drive Jimmy to the airport at an ungodly hour yesterday (and will stay up late tonight to go and get him from the same place). That was about it for excitement.

I visited with Grandma F, and we read a letter from her friend back home. The wound nurse came in while I was there, and re-stressed the importance of staying off her back when she's in bed. It makes me wonder though ... what happens when the skin on her hip bones starts to break down? She is really just skin and bones now, and I'm sure all the 'side-laying' will begin to have an effect.


I have typed and deleted so many sentences in this space over the course of the last 15 minutes ... I give up. I tried to tell you about the 3-part PBS documentary I watched this week. I wanted to tell you about the good book I'm reading. I even backspaced over a sentence describing Maggie's latest silliness.

It all seemed too boring for human consumption. Ahh ... now there's a good phrase to describe me and my life this January!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve ..."

I love you too, Emilie. :-)


Jimmy came through the door last night, with excitement in his voice ... haven't heard that in a long while. He is being sent to Texas for a 1-night stay this week. Poor man has been home for a month almost. Think of the agony!!!


Patti sent me an e-mail this morning, the subject of which has been on my mind for months ...

I became a mother when I was barely grown myself ... some people have told me that I was nowhere NEAR grown at the time ... and I used to think that if I could just get past the point where they would sleep through the night, everything would settle down and get back to normal. Later I would think that once they could walk on their own ... my life would be so much easier. And surely after they started school, life would calm down a bit. About 10 years ago, I'd observe people whose children had reached young adulthood, off to college or living on their own, and think, "Wow. Now THAT must be when a parent can finally relax. "

Are you seeing the pattern of delusional thinking here?

Maybe because I started the whole thing so young, I never really grasped the concept that it's never going to be "the way it was before". I spent YEARS of my life thinking that the passage of time would make parenting easier.

As Daddy always used to say, "Too soon old, too late smart!" I think I get it now. It ain't gonna be gettin' easy. Not now. Not ever.

Now here's the timely e-mail I got this morning from Ms. Patti:


Somebody said, "It takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby."
Somebody doesn't know that, once you're a Mother, "normal" is history.

Somebody said, "You learn how to be a Mother by instinct."
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said, "Being a Mother is boring."
Somebody never rode in a car being driven by a teenager with a Learner's Permit.

Somebody said, "If you're a good Mother, your child will turn out 'good'."
Somebody thinks that a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said, "Good mothers never raise their voices."
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said, "You don't need an education to be a Mother."
Somebody never helped her fourth-grader with math.

Somebody said, "You can't love the fifth child as much as the first."
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said, "A Mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books."
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.
(Or swallow a refrigerator magnet. Right Emilie?)

Somebody said, "The hardest part of being a Mother is labor and delivery."
Somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus for the fist day of kindergarten ...
... or a plane headed for military boot camp.

Somebody said, "A good Mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back."
Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said, "A Mother can stop worrying after her child gets married."
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a Mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said, "A Mother's job is done when her last child leaves home."
Somebody never had Grandchildren.

Somebody said, "Your Mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her."
Somebody isn't a Mother.


Thanks Patti! :-)

Monday, January 09, 2006

"Everybody's looking for something ... "

Maggie and I are alone in the house today. That whole story of mine about how I crave "alone time"? It's bullshit.

There was no procrastination connected with Emilie's move back to Clemson, after all. We got down there, and not only did Jimmy get the water running ... he hooked up the cable TV, too. The apartment is teeny-tiny, but plenty of room for two skinny twenty-somethings. They were both freaked out to find there were no cable outlets in the bedrooms. That was the biggest crisis of the day. And oh my, how wonderful it was not to have to schlep the boxes and mattress UP a flight of stairs! All 4 years of college, she lived in a 2nd story apartment. (I shouldn't complain though ... at two of those buildings, she could have lived on the THIRD floor, and didn't.) But this time ... so nice. Straight from the parking lot, into the door.

So she didn't come back home to sleep here. And I'm OK about it . Kinda. (I miss you, Em. Take good care of yourself.)


A Grandma F observation made over the last few days, and confirmed again yesterday:

She's miserable in her wheelchair. She's more comfortable, and more talkative, when she's settled back in her bed.

I got a look at the tailbone pressure sore yesterday when the nurse was changing the dressing on it. The nurse commented that it was looking so much better and, while I don't know what it looked like at the worst stage, I thought it didn't look bad at all. It looks as though it's healing, and isn't even what I would call "red". It's pinkened skin, mainly. So I don't know if that's what's causing her to be so tortured when she's sitting in her chair ... but she can barely seem to lift her head when she's sitting there. She will sloooooowly move herself back into the bed, with the CNA's help, and after much repositioning to get settled, she will seem like her old self again. Conversation-wise, anyway. She's not so much into moving around at all.


Jimmy worked hard all weekend long ... Saturday, he and Adam did all the heavy lifting ... and yesterday, he re-arranged beds all day. He moved Emilie's old mattress and boxsprings to the storage room, then put one queen bed on a frame in Em's room, and another back up on the frame in Adam's old room.

I'm betting he's in some amount of discomfort this morning. :-(


I've got 52 things I need to be doing this morning. Talk to ya later.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

"I've been losing so much time ..."

Well alrighty. It's only half a moving day.

Emilie's roommate called last night to let her know the apartment won't have water until Monday. She finally got around to setting up service YESTERDAY, it would seem. Although I was under the impression that water service was never really shut off and back on again between tenants at apartment complexes ... I thought it was just transferred to a new bill. Oh well. We will find out more when we arrive down there. We decided we'd go ahead and move most of the non-essentials, especially the larger furniture today. And she can come back to sleep here until the water is working. She's not a happy camper, that one.

My procrastination wish worked!!!


Four Things About Moi

Four Jobs I Have Had:

1. Nurse's Aide at Oak Manor Nursing Home - I washed bottoms, changed diapers, emptied foley catheter bags, recorded vital signs, and fed people through tubes they had in their noses. I got to wear a white "nurse's uniform". I was 17 years old, and had basically no training for this job. Scary, no? I'm sure the pay was super low. Thank God that the people who do this sort of work nowadays have to be trained and "certified" ... even if that sometimes means little to nothing in the care that they give. I do have a soft spot for the old folks. Each and every one was somebody's precious baby, and each and every one has a story to tell.

2. Child Care Provider - I did this right after I got married, until I was about 6 months pregnant, and then again in the mid-1980's for a year or so. In 1979, I charged $30 a week for a toddler to stay in my home all day long ($50 a week if the family had two children), and I provided toys and snacks, stories and hugs ... and potty-training. I wasn't licensed, but I was damn good at it.

3. Tupperware Lady - Oh yeah. I was THAT obnoxious. I also sold Aloette Cosmetics at the same type of home demonstration "parties". I don't think I ever made much money at either one.

4. Mom - The pay was way low, but the benefits were out of this world.

Four Movies I Would Watch Over And Over:

I watch a lot of movies over and over again, but the ones I've watched the most are:

1. Shirley Valentine - "Hiya wall." (When, oh when, will this be released on DVD?)

2. Gone With The Wind - "Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar."

3. Crimes Of The Heart - "She's so shy with men ... probably that shrunken ovary of hers."

4. Grease - "The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy."

Four Places I Have Lived:

1. Villa Rica, Georgia (March 1970 to August 1970) - We temporarily moved to my grandmother's house so that my Mom could care for our dying Grandma. I thought it it was a special kind of torture Frances thought up just for me.

2. Manchester, Georgia (June 1980 to July 1981) - Adam was born while we lived briefly in this little hole-in-the-wall.

3. Marietta, Georgia (January 1979 to June 1980) - While Jimmy finished his college education, we lived in the "nicest" trailer park in Marietta!

4. Columbus, Georgia (March 1959 to January 1979, except for that brief stay in Villa Rica -- then July 1981 to August 1988, when we loaded up the truck and moved to South Cackilacky)

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:

1. Scrubs

2. South Park

3. The Amazing Race

4. Family Guy

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:

1. St. Maarten (Carnival Cruise).

2. St. Thomas (same Carnival Cruise)

3. Charleston, South Carolina

4. Panama City Beach, Florida

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

1. The Hollywood Rag - It's a little scary how much I love celebrity gossip.

2. The AJ and Brandy Show - They know I'm their Number One Fan.

3. TRCH Ragdoll Forum - Crazy Ragoll owners, just like me.

4. - Mainly to make up for all the celebrity gossip.

Four Of My Favorite Foods:

1. Really, really, really good chargrilled steak. Preferably a ribeye, medium rare.

2. California Dreaming Salad with the House Dressing

3. Chicken & Dumplings

4. Romano's Macaroni Grill Pasta Milano

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

1. In bed

2. In my purple beach chair, with my toes in the warm surf, and a cold cocktail in my hand

3. Tailgating at a Clemson football game

4. On my own private balcony, on a cruise to anywhere

Friday, January 06, 2006

"This is a lesson in procrastination ..."

I could teach a college-level course on the subject.

I think I passed the gene on to at least one of my kiddos too.

It's not all bad. As Ellen Degeneres says in her too-funny "Here and Now" DVD:
"Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution. It is the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Listen to the music. Whoa whoa, listen to the music. Because music makes the people come together, it makes the bourgeois and the rebel. So come on people now, smile on your brother, everybody try to love one another. Because what the world needs now is love, sweet love. And I know that love is a battlefield, but boogie on reggae woman because you're gonna make it after all. So celebrate good times, come on. I've gotta stop I've gotta come to my senses I've been out riding fences for so long... oops I did it again... um... What I'm trying to say is, if you leave tonight and you don't remember anything else that I've said, leave here and remember this: Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

In some ways, I see my procrastination as Nature's way of slowing things down for me. But in other ways, I see it as me wanting more ass-sitting time. In other words, laziness. After all, I do hold the title.

Of course I never procrastinate over the pleasant things in my life. It's always the crap jobs. Bill paying. Cleaning bathrooms. Cleaning anything, for that matter. Laundry. Grocery shopping. And this week, I've procrastinated over Emilie's move to Clemson. She asks me to come and keep her company while she packs boxes, and I answer, "Oh, let's do that later. I have to do (whatever) right now." Moving day is tomorrow. I wonder if I could devise a plan to make her procrastinate on it ... and move NEXT year. I'm really going to miss having her around.


Grandma F has already started singing her favorite song ... it's called "I Hate Therapy". She was oh, so grumbly yesterday when I found her finishing up her time in the therapy room. And when she's unhappy about one thing, she's unhappy about EVERYTHING. Had to bite my tongue a lot with her yesterday.


I have had the same 3 Netflix DVDs sitting on my DVD player since the week before Christmas. I bet Netflix thinks I died. Maybe it just means I'm not that interested in seeing "The Polar Express", "Hide and Seek", and some documentary about a small town in Florida. Duh. I should just mail them all back so they'll send the last few from The Sopranos, Season 5. Sounds like a plan.


More proof of my mad procrastination skillz: My kitchen floor is still sticky.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

"We're better off for all that we let in ..."

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.


Yesterday, I asked Grandma F what I should cook for dinner. I said I was out of ideas and needed some suggestions. She thought for half a second, and then said, "Why don't you fry up a dishrag?" When I busted out laughing, she just grinned and giggled. :-)

I met the neatest CNA. Her name is Bernadine, and she works 2nd shift. She is an older lady ... not old, but middle-aged ... which is rare in the CNA world. She seemed to truly care about Grandma and Mrs. L. She gave Grandma a choice of when she wanted to have her shower, and Grandma chose after supper. I'm sure, the way things work, she won't be with Grandma every afternoon and evening, but if I had my way, she would be.

Bernadine gave Mrs. L a bedbath behind the curtain during my visit. Mrs. L seems to get very vocal when she is being moved or tended to, so it was hard to talk at times. Grandma would just lay there and listen for something she could understand, and then she would tell me what Mrs. L had just said. Grandma said, over and over, that she didn't mind the noise Mrs. L sometimes makes. She said it was very sad that her brain had "gone bad" like that. I found out yesterday that Mrs. L's daughter comes to feed her at EVERY mealtime. Now that's devotion.

Another Grandma quote from Wednesday: "I wish I could eat a big ole candy bar. But I can't, because my sugar is all messed up." :-(


Emilie went to Clemson yesterday to pay her rent, and move a few little things into the apartment. It's basically the same floorplan that she and Adam shared several years back ... same landlord, different apartment complex. Her roommate had already claimed a bedroom, so Emilie is stuck with the smaller of the two. Less floor space for dirty laundry, though ... might be a good thing.


If I don't do some cleaning around here soon ... I was walking through the kitchen with bare feet this morning, and had a moment there where I feared I'd be stuck until someone came along to rescue me. Talk about a sticky spot. Ugh.

Today, mopping will take place.

Don't envy my jet-set life. OK?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"What's a fire, and why does it - what's the word? - burn? ..."

Thanks AJ, for the brain worm. I'll be singing it all day.


Rough day yesterday. I was at the nursing home for almost 5 hours, getting Grandma F moved from one room to another. The move itself didn't take but about an hour, but then I waited around while she did all her therapy, and ate lunch so that I could stay with her in her new room for awhile before I left.

Her new roommate can't walk or get around on her own, so Grandma won't have to worry about this woman turning her lamp off or grabbing her call button away from her. Grandma seemed much happier with this deal. The room is brighter and neater, and feels better to me emotionally. If that makes any sense at all.

I spent some time with Grandma in the therapy room. She made me smile ... every time the therapist would give her instructions like, "Lift this one-pound bar over your head and then lower it again ... and do that 10 times, then rest" ... Grandma would do it ten times, then look over at me with a sly grin, and do it one or two more times. She'd say, "I'll give her some extra." Of course, that may backfire on her ... when the therapist got wind of it, she'd say, "Now Mrs. F, do 12 more!"

Good news from yesterday ... Grandma asked to use the bathroom twice. Before, she was just not saying anything, and letting herself be cleaned up after the fact. She seemed happy to know that she would have exclusive use of the bathroom in her room, since the roommate is incontinent. Mrs. L is her roommate, and it looks like her Alzheimer's is so progressed that she can only babble incoherantly. Grandma said that wouldn't bother her, she was so glad to get away from her former bossy roommate. Mrs. L's daughter comes in every day to feed lunch to her Mom, and she said her Mom had been at Dogwood Acres for 4 years.


Late afternoon, I went shopping with Emilie ... we found a TV stand at Big Lots for her new apartment. (Moving day is Saturday.) :-(

Then, home to collapse. I will soon lose my title of "Laziest Woman In The South" if this keeps up.


Today I need to do a load of Grandma's laundry, then I'll head over there in the afternoon ... hopefully she'll be all done with therapy and I can visit with her in her room, or maybe the sunroom right down the hall.


Patti, thank you for your phone call last night. I love you.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

"Days go by, I'm hypnotized ..."

Happy 2006.

We ate the obligatory collard greens and black eyed peas -- hoping the superstition works for once, and we'll have plenty of money this year. We also got Christmas put away, for the most part. The guest room bed is still piled high with empty boxes and wrapping paper, but at least the door is closed. The tree (and all it's trimmings) is boxed away in the attic for another year. I've decided to let the wreath stay on the front door until it looks tired. Right now, it's still fresh and pretty.

I was so very asleep when the New Year rolled in this morning. I think that means I'm an old lady. Our lovely neighbors did their best (as they always do) to crack a few of our window panes with the fireworks they set off. To their disappointment, I'm sure, our windows survived another New Year's Eve. Oh, the racket.

Me <--- Old.


From the comments:
We went to see Jessica Friday night and I was reminded that in the other cases where we gave a Lampe Berger as a gift, the recipients deemed the scents too strong. They've both (Jessica and Brandy's Dad) purchased a bottle of "Neutral" oil that you can use to "cut" the scented oils so they're not so strong.

I love your picture, son. You never fail to make me smile.
Maybe I'm a weirdo (maybe?), but I don't have a problem with the scent being too strong. I love smelly-good stuff. If it ever starts to bother me, maybe I'll check out the neutral oil, or ask you about Jessica's experiment with the rubbing alcohol ... (God, I hope she doesn't blow anything up!) ... but for now, it's all good. I love my Lampey Burger. :-)


Maggie Belle is stretched full-length here on the bed with me ... and I'm all-of-a-sudden very jealous of her conked-out state. I'm outta here. Good night.