"Clarity, peace, serenity ..."

(The pictures on yesterday's post were taken during Emilie's trip to Ohio last week.)

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I got a new cell phone yesterday. This happens about every two years, as I become eligible for a much-reduced price to replace my current phone. My husband HATES this ... he thinks everything ought to last forever. But after two years, it's fun to get the latest bells and whistles.

Only it takes this old lady months to learn how to use new bells and whistles.

My New Toy:

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Mom called me late yesterday afternoon to tell me that my Aunt Irene is dying. She's been in the hospital or in rehab since just after the New Year, recovering from heart bypass surgery ... and it's been a grim picture since then. But really, none of us were prepared for the news the doctors gave my cousin yesterday ... that my aunt's organs and systems were shutting down, and there's no hope for a recovery. She's on a respirator, and my cousin made the decision yesterday to keep her there, until the other kids could make it there to say goodbye to their Mom. I'm thinking it's only a matter of days now.

My mother is worrying about Uncle Charles (Mom's brother). He has Parkinson's Disease, is in his 80's now, and is about as feeble and frail as you can get. I know that losing his wife of over 50 years will hit him pretty hard.

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When I was a child, Aunt Irene always made me feel inadequate. We were the Poor Relations of the family. They lived in a much nicer home and neighborhood than we did, and my cousins got to do all the activities that we did not: tennis lessons, horseback riding, gymnastics, etc.

But we were always together on the holidays, and sleepovers at my cousins' house were common. She gave a bridal shower for me when I married Jimmy. She kept up on Family News, and has never failed to send me a card when I was sick or in the hospital.

I know now that most of my feelings of inadequacy came from my own head. While Aunt Irene came across as snobby and judgemental, she really was just dealing with her own demons. Aren't we all?

Our family will be a lot smaller without her.

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I realized last night that I have nothing to wear to a funeral. My wardrobe consists (literally) of several pairs of jeans, and a couple of khaki crop pants. Today I will find a decent dress.