Wednesday, March 01, 2006

"Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me ..."

It's March! And it's already too damn hot for me. I think the warmth may be temporary though ... the weekend will be cooler, "they" say.


Grandma F has had a rough week, bless her strong, strong heart. The nurse practitioner wanted to put her in the hospital again today, but again the brothers stood their ground and asked that she be kept as comfy as possible, with no heroic efforts to keep things going. Her IV has pulled out twice now ... once last night, and once again late this afternoon. Hopefully, after this last bag of solution is gone, they can take the needle out of her arm. Now that she's been stuck a dozen times in the last 24 hours, she's worrying about it coming out accidentally again.

Her appetite is tiny, only a few bites off each meal tray. The coughing has reduced, compared to Monday night. But there's still a cough.

She's just worn out.

We're meeting with the Lutheran Hospice tomorrow afternoon to get her all signed up for those services.


My house is a wreck. The Ragdoll fur puffballs are floating around like they own the place.


I went yesterday and took a 500-question "psychological" test ... the first step on my road toward a Bypassed Gastric. If this is a surprise to you ... and I know it might be, considering it's the first I've said here about it ... it's something I've been pondering for years, really. I've talked myself out of it many, many times. But I've come to the final conclusion that I need this "tool" to help me, once and for all, lose this weight that's burdening my body and soul. My extra weight has been my reason for saying "no" to life for so many years. I'm getting older by the minute. I'm not ready to deal with health problems that are sure to start arriving any day now. And I'm tired of the up and down, the yoyo-ing of my weight over the years of dieting. So tired.

Jimmy attended a free informational seminar with me last week at "Bariatric Solutions", and we were both impressed by the surgeon and the facility. I enrolled in the program, and the first step was the previously-mentioned psych testing. There's a psychologist and a nutritionist on staff with the surgeon, and I'll have to meet with both of them, and the surgeon before my insurance will even be filed. Also, I have to attend six pre-op support group sessions before I can have the surgery. It'll be a long process. And in the past, that would be enough to discourage me. But I'm determined to see this through, with compliance and cooperation on my part. And patience, mustn't forget the patience.

I hope that, after the test I took yesterday, the psychologist doesn't find me "too wacked-out" for surgery!


The Hotness said...

We'll be here for ya if you ever need us. I can't to see you happy once you start seeing the results! :)

Do you have any idea of when the surgery will be? If you have to go to six meetings, that is one a week, right? Or can you have them more often than that?

Anonymous said...

I've tried and tried to analyze my "feelings"....and my feelings of your feelings....on all this. Above all the jealousy (yes, I admit it. I'm jealous) and envy, is my excitement for you. Yes, what would make it even better would be if I could go thru it right along beside you - but we both know that's not possible. So, once again sister, I'll have to live vicariously through you :)
I love you and I can't wait to see the changes that are to come!

xoxo Kay

Dawn said...

They told me that, assuming everything moves along as it should ... and insurance doesn't cause any delays, I should expect to have the surgery around the end of May. Those 6 pre-op meetings are held every OTHER week. So that's 12 weeks right there. As I said, looooong process.

Save the jealaousy for when the weight comes off ... there are no guarantees I'll even have the surgery. Thank you, though, for being excited with me. I am going through cycles ... every hour, my feelings change. Typical!!!

Love you both, very much. :-)