Why yes, I have been down in the dumps lately. How could you tell?
I'm doing a bit better these last couple of days though ... thanks mainly to my incredible kids. (I really appreciate the understanding and the kindness.)
And I really don't want to sit here and whine about the mess I made by thinking I had "something to give" as a CNA ... but I would like to list a few of the reasons it was a bad idea, just in case I start to think otherwise. So here goes:
1. 99% of CNA's are low-class, black, and on a power trip because they are "in charge" of helpless people.
2. The pay is lousy for the physical work required.
3. The "CNA of the Year" at NHS ate half of a patient's dinner, explaining that "She never eats all her food anyway."
4. The same CNA talked on her cell phone while giving an elderly woman a shower.
5. I don't understand ebonics.
6. As sad as I feel about people who have to live in nursing homes, it makes me 100 times sadder to see them treated in a rough, matter-of-fact manner by the "professionals" who care for them.
I feel like a huge failure, but I can't go to that job every day and still have happiness in my heart. So. I've wasted time and money. But I've learned a bit about myself. And I've learned a lot about other people. And in the wise, wise words of my kid, Adam ... "Chances are that, unless you're a rock star, you're not going to love everything about your job. The people you work with are what makes a job tolerable, or even enjoyable." That's paraphrasing, but ain't he smart? :-) Thanks Adam. And Emilie and Brandy, too.
So last night, Jimmy called from Phoenix and asked what time my "little job interview" was today. Ouch. Oh well. I guess it IS a little job. But I think I got it. I went to do the drug test late this afternoon, and the manager said he'd call me on Thursday after he gets the results back. It might be sort of fun to be a pharmacy tech at CVS. He told me that they provide the training and the certification ... and that eventually I'd be counting pills and doing data entry on the computers. But of course I'll start by just doing the customer service and cash register part. Anyway, I liked the manager, and the store is 5 minutes from my house.
And there are no CNA's there.
Thought For Today:
"Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you."