Wednesday, August 27, 2003

"Where is the love? ..."

Why yes, I have been down in the dumps lately. How could you tell?

I'm doing a bit better these last couple of days though ... thanks mainly to my incredible kids. (I really appreciate the understanding and the kindness.)

And I really don't want to sit here and whine about the mess I made by thinking I had "something to give" as a CNA ... but I would like to list a few of the reasons it was a bad idea, just in case I start to think otherwise. So here goes:

1. 99% of CNA's are low-class, black, and on a power trip because they are "in charge" of helpless people.
2. The pay is lousy for the physical work required.
3. The "CNA of the Year" at NHS ate half of a patient's dinner, explaining that "She never eats all her food anyway."
4. The same CNA talked on her cell phone while giving an elderly woman a shower.
5. I don't understand ebonics.
6. As sad as I feel about people who have to live in nursing homes, it makes me 100 times sadder to see them treated in a rough, matter-of-fact manner by the "professionals" who care for them.

I feel like a huge failure, but I can't go to that job every day and still have happiness in my heart. So. I've wasted time and money. But I've learned a bit about myself. And I've learned a lot about other people. And in the wise, wise words of my kid, Adam ... "Chances are that, unless you're a rock star, you're not going to love everything about your job. The people you work with are what makes a job tolerable, or even enjoyable." That's paraphrasing, but ain't he smart? :-) Thanks Adam. And Emilie and Brandy, too.

So last night, Jimmy called from Phoenix and asked what time my "little job interview" was today. Ouch. Oh well. I guess it IS a little job. But I think I got it. I went to do the drug test late this afternoon, and the manager said he'd call me on Thursday after he gets the results back. It might be sort of fun to be a pharmacy tech at CVS. He told me that they provide the training and the certification ... and that eventually I'd be counting pills and doing data entry on the computers. But of course I'll start by just doing the customer service and cash register part. Anyway, I liked the manager, and the store is 5 minutes from my house.

And there are no CNA's there.

Thought For Today:
"Be more concerned about your character than about your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think of you."

5 comments:

Kay said...

From your supportive sister
Dawn,
I'll be proud of you whether you are a CNA, a pharmacy tech, or the most wonderful stay at home mom I've ever known. We all just want you to be happy...and NO job is worth feeling bad about yourself over. Keep your eyes on the paper. You don't HAVE to settle for a nursing home. Occasionally doctors offices (the bigger ones) need CNA's and it would be a ton more pleasant than what I hear you've been subject to the past few days. I can't wait to talk to you and hear more about it..and also what you told your boss when you told her you wouldn't be coming back :)
I know you'll do great at CVS - maybe you'll even get a discount in the store. That would be cool!
I love you...don't forget, Kay

Dawn said...

Thanks ever so much, younger sister. I still haven't heard about any doctor's offices around here hiring CNA's ... although they could probably save a few bucks by doing so. They pay an RN, LPN, or PCT/CMA to call patients back and take their vitals ... and an intelligent CNA could do that for much less money. Ohhhh wait a minute. The problem could be that "intelligent CNA" is an oxymoron! :-)

The job at CVS may turn out to be just what I was hoping for though ... a way to make a little cash to send to Clemson, AND keep my brain out of mothballs. Keep those fingers crossed.

Love you!

Emilie said...

I'm glad that you think you got the job! I think that will be a good job for you. It's easy and it's physical work which is always good. I hope you get it!
I've been dreaming about cats because I want one so bad. Kate said that the roommates she had before us had a cat, and that nobody ever said anything. The maintenance people would even come in and just pet the cat like it was no big deal. And I dreamed last night that I got Piper from the pet store. :( I'm such a dork. I also watched a lot of Animal Planet last night which probably affected my dream too. I watched Animal Precinct and this show about tigers that was really cool. I want a pet tiger.
I actually cooked dinner last night for me and Rob....aren't you proud of me? I made 4 cheese chicken enchiladas and salad. Well, I didn't actually make the salad, I bought it in a bag. And the enchiladas were one of those Kraft easy cooks or ready cooks or something like that. They're in the cold meat section. They have a bunch of different kinds so I'll probably by them again. I had to buy the chicken and I got $1 off because there was a coupon for a pound or more of chicken on the box. And inside the box was the cheese, tortillas, and salsa. I had to cut up the chicken, cook it in a pan on the stove, add the stuff in it and put them in tortillas and then bake it for a while. It actually wasn't that bad. And then I made cinnamon rolls later that night while we watched Animal Planet. I was proud of myself though for cutting up raw chicken and cooking it on my own. Karen and Clay came home while me and Rob were eating and I hid the box in the trash can to make them think I did it on my own. They were pretty impressed and I told them it was just something I had learned from you. Luckily they never found the box, but it would have been funny if they did.
It's so freakin hot outside, I can't go anywhere without sweating....And of course I have to walk across campus up and over hills with a backpack full of books and notebooks....not too much fun. So I'm exhausted when I get home and I collapse into a nap.
Me and Rob and Karen woke up early yesterday and got our football tickets at 7:30. They actually have seat numbers on the ticket, it doesn't just say "on the hill" so hopefully we will actually get seats. It's supposed to be a really crowded game though of course. So I've gotten up before 8 everyday this week, and of course taken naps, but I'm pretty proud of myself. And I'm proud of you for just picking up with your life and not dwelling on that stupid job. You really don't need to worry about it. It was a bad situation that you didn't need to put yourself through.
I really miss Hayley....I hope she can get to the vet soon and get better. Give her a big kiss for me.
I love you very much and I'll talk to you later!

Dawn said...

Hey yourself! Your chatty note sure did make me smile today!

But let's talk about the cat thing before you get carried away. What does the lease say? It won't matter much if the girls who lived there before you had a cat if your landlords decide to fine you or toss you out upon finding your new pet. Also, there are vet bills and food bills and litterbox bills ... and who the heck would take care of your cat when you do decide to come home and visit your old Mom? You know very well that Ms. Hayley would not tolerate another cat in this house. Road trips with friends would also be out because you'd have to consider the cat. So please try to curb your longings for a pet kitty until the timing is better. Your responsibilities now are to study, go to class, make friends, stay healthy, and study some more. Please don't add pet ownership to that list right now. Especially not a pet tiger. Sheeeeesh!

Now. About the cooking ... ***THUD***. I am SO impressed! It hardly matters that the food was "easy prep" ... somebody still has to get it all together! I used to think, before I got married, that I would use foods like that ALL the time (TV dinners and such), and my husband would never know because I'd have it all on a pretty plate on the table, as if I'd cooked the whole meal from scratch. I probably should have tried to stick to that plan ... that way your dad wouldn't be so spoiled to my "gourmet cookin'"! I bet your meal was very YUM!

Yeah, I know it's hot. I hate it. But maybe it's almost over. Seems like every year, by the time Adam's birthday comes around, the hottest stuff is over and there's a different feel to the air. And that's only a couple of weeks away. I can't wait. Then we'll be shivering, and waiting for the snow! Speaking of ice storms, I found your other mitten in your closet.

So glad you got tickets for the game! Whoooo! With real seats and everything. You still may not sit at all during the game ... Adam and Brandy say that the student sections are filled with "standers", which make it hard to sit if you want to actually see the game. I know you'll have fun ... just drink plenty of water and stuff since it'll be hot as hay-ell. Go Tigers!

Don't worry about Hayley. I truly haven't seen her chewing her legs as much lately. Maybe it's getting better. It'll take a while for her fur to grow back. And guess what? Today she actually sniffed that sock I filled with catnip for her ... and bit it a few times. Ha. Maybe she'll play with it next month. I talk to her every day and give her lots of love ... so don't worry about her.

Thank you for all that wonderful support about the stupid job thing. You know the best job I ever had was being a Mom to you and your brother. Man, I had it good. :-)

I love you and think about you every day,
xoxo Mom

Anonymous said...

Will this blog still receive comments?

Do you still get E-mails to approve comments?

You should find a way to preserve this blog somewhere.

Amazing this was just over 10 years ago and it is still here and it is even more interesting now.

Jimmy