"Welcome to a new kind of tension ... "

Emilie bought a Green Day DVD with footage of the tour she saw twice this year. I'm still lovin' that "American Idiot" music. I bet if Green Day knew a fat, 46-year-old housewife loved their CD, they'd be all confused about the direction their careers are taking. Heh.

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From comments:
" stop feeding it wet food."

Do I know you? Miss Maggie Belle knows when it's 7:00 in the evening, and you can find her, at that time, in the kitchen moaning and complaining because I'm not opening the pouch of goodness fast enough. Besides, it's not really "wet food" ... it's moist chicken chunks. (gag)

"Will she get water in it or on it? Will be interesting to see how many times she heats nothing because she didn't get any water in the thing. You should make sure she has something with a spout that holds less than 2 cups of water to use only for filling the heater ...
... You are so nice to Grandma. She and everyone around her surely should know this. She is so lucky to have you close."

Thanks for the nice words. I bought a Hot Shot today, with the intention of trying it out myself. And now I want to keep it. It was only $15 at Walmart. It heats water way faster than the microwave, and I don't think the microwaved water is ever hot enough. Yes, I know the microwave can boil water ... but it still doesn't seem hot. (Not a fan of the microwave.)
But back to Grandma F, I think she will spill water everywhere when trying to fill this thing. Once it's in, you push the lever on the left ... a red light comes on ... and you can hear the water heating. Once it boils (about a minute later), the red light goes off, and the noise stops. Then you just put your cup underneath, and hold down the lever on the right. Unless you are holding the lever down, the water will not come out. IF, and that's a big if, she could use it safely, she could make instant oatmeal, instant soup, tea, hot cocoa ... sounds like it would be so nice for her. I just can't imagine her showing enough coordination with it to make it work.

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The activity director (V.) met me as I walked in today. She said she had stopped in to see Grandma F, with the intention of asking what activities she might like to do. She said Grandma stared straight ahead with a mean look on her face, and would not answer her. She asked Grandma if she was having trouble hearing her question, and Grandma, still staring straight ahead, said, "I will not speak to you."

Jesus Horatio Christ.

I told Grandma, when I got to her room, that V. was a really nice lady, and was just trying to make sure she wasn't bored while living there. She answered that she was never bored, and she didn't need any activities. Grr. Grrr.

Her legs and feet looked a little better today. I think we may be dealing with more and more incontinence ... she didn't make it to the bathroom in time this morning, but she got herself changed and told me about it when I got there.

I'm gonna start needing a little red wagon to get her weekly supplies in there ... I swear, my arm was creaking by the time I got in there today. 7 containers of plain yogurt, 12 cups of jello, 6 cups of pudding, 12 cups of applesauce, a 12-pack of canned lemon tea, 9 bananas, 3 apples, 3 rolls of paper towels, and 4 packs of incontinence pads. And I got there to find she was out of graham crackers and Ritz crackers. But she had fried catfish and hush puppies for lunch, so she was a happy camper for a minute or two today.

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Smelly Cat was enjoying a nice late-evening blitz around the living room last night ... and caught her foot in the power cord to the laptop. The plug was pulled from the back of the 'puter and flew across the room. Maggie thought it was great fun. Meanwhile, the cord suffered fatal damage. It was already showing signs of wear at the stress-point where cord meets plug. But after the blitz, it refused to power up the old computer. I carried the laptop upstairs to test it using Em's power cord. It worked, so there's nothing wrong inside the computer itself. Then I got on the dinosaur in Adam's room, and saw that Dell would sell me a new one for a mere $75. Sheee-it.
Adam (in e-mail) brilliantly suggested e-bay, and I was able to snag one last night before I went to bed for $23, incuding shipping. Yay, Adam.

Now to make it without the laptop, and using the dinosaur, until the cord arrives in the mail. I think I can, I think I can.

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To repeat a few good jokes I posted this time 2 years ago, in honor of the big game tomorrow night ...............

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Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, a Clemson fan, a South Carolina fan, a Tennessee fan and a Georgia fan.
They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Tennessee fan proclaimed to the other three "This is for the Volunteers!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice screaming "Rocky Top" as he fell to his death.

Not to be out done by the Tennessee fan, the Georgia fan jumped up and shouted "This is for the DAWGS" and threw himself off the mountain barking "Woof...woof, woof, woof, woof!" as he crashed on the rocks below.

Refusing to be out done by the Tennessee and Georgia fans, the Clemson fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This is for the CLEMSON TIGERS!" and without any hesitation, pushed the South Carolina fan off the mountain shouting "Fly now, Gamecock!"

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Q: Why do USC alumni keep their diplomas on their dash boards?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spaces.

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Q. What do you call a Gamecock in a 3-piece suit?
A. The defendant.

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Q: How many USC freshmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None - it's a sophomore course.

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Tigers are favored by a tiny margin, due to the fact that Carolina's first-year quarterback will be playing against the incredible Charlie. But it's in Columbia, and anything could happen. I am looking forward to watching a great game. Go Tigers!

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The Friday Five

1. What do you do for fun?
I cook for fun. Grilling is even more fun than cooking. Putzing around online, reading blogs is fun. Time with family is fun. Clemson football is fun. Traveling is fun.

2. Is there a person from your past you would like to talk to again, even if it would be a potentially painful conversation?
I'd like to have a face-to-face talk with Leslie. We've had a couple of phone calls since our close friendship faded ... but I haven't seen her since the mid-90's. Sure do miss that crazy girl.

3. What is your favorite comfort food?
I could write a book, since my preferred route to comfort is through food. (How I wish it wasn't!) Let's see ... Chicken and Dumplings is a good one. So is ice cream. A big breakfast of grits, eggs, and toast is comforting to me, as well. At Christmas, my comfort comes in the form of divinity. Yep, sugar and egg whites. Mmm, mmm, wonderful.
I forgot about macaroni and cheese.

4. What is your preferred form of self-expression? (Do you dance; or express yourself through music, conversation, etc.)
I guess you're looking at one of the main ways I express myself.

5. You just received $5000; what do you spend it on?
It's not enough to pay off even one of the student loans, soooo ... I'll treat this as a fantasy question. Because in reality, I'd just put it toward the student loans.
$5000 ... I'd put hardwood floors in the foyer, living and dining rooms. And tile in the kitchen and bathrooms. And I'd re-carpet the rest of the house. I've already gone WAY over $5000, haven't I? That's so like me.

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Off to clean some more ... the kitchen awaits.