"Well, well, it's fine out today ..."

I can't believe it. Sanjaya is gone.

In the end, he almost got to me ... I'm a sucker for tears every time. But then he sang again, and I remembered why he bugs the hell out of me.

"Let's give 'em something to talk about ... other than HAAAAAAIIIIIIIRRRRRR ..."

Guh. But he had me talking, did he not? Sneaky little boy. I think I will miss laughing at him every week a bit. For a 17-year-old, he seemed to handle the national criticism with humor and grace.

Phil survived because he actually improved on Tuesday night. The nerve! But what the hell ... Blake in the Bottom Three? My heart grew another size when I saw the loving way he wiped Lakisha's tears sooo carefully. So what if he wears goofy hats sometimes! The guy can sing, AND he understands about the smearing of the mascara.

But I'm bugged beyond belief that they all got to see Shrek The Third before the rest of us. No fair! (Emilie mentioned last night how she and Jud were discussing the fact that Melinda Doolittle resembles Fiona ... I'll be damned. She does!)

Enough with the American Idol already.

-----

The campers got on the road at an ungodly hour today ... around 5 AM-ish. Hopefully they can stay awake on the Interstate for 9 hours. Jimmy had so many boxes with supplies going into his truck last night, it looked like he was moving out. I know he's not really ... he left his motorcycle here.

For those not in the loop, Jimmy and Adam are planning to build a freakin' airplane. At some point during the building, they're both hoping to obtain their pilot's license, so they can actually USE the airplane they build. Apparently building your own plane isn't as scary and insane as building your own car, or even building your own house. Adam tells me LOTS of people do it ... and they really fly around in them and everything.

It'll be an expensive and time-intensive project ... but one they both want to do with all their hearts. Jimmy has talked about having his pilot's license since he was in his early 20's. It took his son saying, "Life is short ... let's DO this thing!" for him to really consider the possibility. I hope they both can make this dream of theirs a reality.

Thus. the reason for the 9-hour Interstate drive to Florida. There's a big gathering of homemade aircraft and the people who build the things, and the two men from my family will be among them this weekend. I hope they have a blast.

-----

I have the sniffles and a cough. Is it pollen? Is it tuberculosis? Only time will tell.

-----

"Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care." - William Safire

"They don't know my head is a mess ..."

Ugh. I have the beginnings of the creeping crud in my chest and throat. I was trying to blame it on the hours I spent in a smoky bar on Saturday night, but now it's Wednesday and it's worse than it was on Monday and Tuesday.

-----

Lots of errands to run today ... I bought a battery-operated fan for the campers to use this weekend in their tent, and during the test run last night, it broke. What did I expect for $12? Actually, I expected a battery-operated fan that wouldn't break the first time someone touched it. Oh well. In the wise words of my Tony, "Whuddaya gonna do?" So that means a trip to the dreaded Walmart to return it. Then I'll head over to Dick's to see if they have a more substantial camping fan. Also, I'll finally be stopping at Petsmart to get a refund for the tainted cat food that was recalled. I bought 12 packs, and there are only 8 left ... which means I may have poisoned my cat on 4 different occasions. She seems none the worse for it.

Let's see ... what else? Shopping with Em for a "business" outfit. Shaking my head in shame as I procrastinate another day over cleaning my disgusting bathroom. Laundry. That'll just about fill the next eight hours.

-----

Got a letter from work today ... asking us to sign up for hours next Wednesday, when we'll be taking calls for the American Idol fundraiser. It beats taking orders for those damn Natural Cures books by a long shot.

------

My new favorite song this week:

"The Story"

(Brandi Carlile)

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops

Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules

But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

You do...and I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

"And it breaks my heart ..."

I don't know what happened to Monday. It was over before it began.

-----

Nice, fast weekend here ... with Emilie and Allie the Pup to keep me company. We spent time at Cleveland Park Dog Park on both Friday and Saturday. People-watching AND dog-watching ... I could stay there for hours. Allie is a very well-behaved puppy, but Maggie got one good kitty-swipe at her nose when she got too close on Friday. And that's all it took. Allie kept her distance after that. She did take out the majority of the hostas in my front yard, but the yard looks like hell this year anyway. Crazy pup ... Em promised to e-mail me a picture to post from the weekend, but I guess she forgot.

-----

I woke this morning, still feeling so terribly sad for all the families and friends affected by the VA Tech shootings. So many lives ... and for what? There are no answers, and even if there were an explanation, it wouldn't be enough for those families who woke up yesterday, thinking their loved one was starting a normal day at college ... and then, before the day was ended, had to endure the horror and pain of learning they'd never see them again. And that kind of pain lasts forever. My heart is broken for all affected.

-----

Jimmy is busy preparing for his long weekend of bonding with his son and sleeping on the ground in Florida. The bonding part will be done while they drool over home-built airplanes, and converse with the people who built them. I think they are both looking forward to it a lot. I hope all the airplane fun makes up for the fact that they are sleeping in a tent. (And I'm saying this, based NOT on my own distaste for campground bathrooms, but on the groans and moans that occur when Jimmy tries to get up every morning ... after spending the night in an expensive Sleep Number bed. He will probably be unable to move after a night in a sleeping bag.)

-----

Can't decide, at this early point, whether I will enjoy the solitude this weekend or hit the road for GA to visit my Mom. I suspect Lazy Dawn will win out.

-----

"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music." - Vladimir Nabokov

"Trying to get up that great big hill of hope ..."

The ONE WORD Meme:

1. Where is your cell phone? Purse
2. Describe your spouse. Overthinker
3. Your hair? Helmet
4. Your mother? Lonely
5. Your father? Deceased
6. Your favorite item? Computer
7. Your dream last night? Pantyhose
8. Your favorite drink? Water
9. Your dream car? BMW
10. The room you are in? Cold
11. Your ex? Old
12. Your fear? Loss
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Alive
14. Who did you hang out with last night? TV
15. What you’re not? Wise
16. The last thing you did? Slept
17. What are you wearing? PJs
18. Your favorite book? Beauty
19. The last thing you ate? Salad
20. Your life? Changing
21. Your mood? Content
22. Your friends? Awesome
23. What are you thinking about right now? Today
24. Your car? Old
25. What are you doing at the moment? Typing
26. Your summer? Unscheduled
27. Your relationship status? Married
28. What is on your TV? Nothing
29. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday
30. Last time you cried? Forgotten
31. School? Maybe

-----

So I have to have 2 old crowns replaced, and a new crown, on top of that. I told y'all I was expensive. I'm slightly happy about it though ... the new crown will take care of the dark filling that shows when I smile widely. It's been bugging me for years.

-----

Our weekend guest will be arriving shortly. At least I don't have to clean the house in preparation for this one. And she'll bring her own crate to sleep in. Sweet.

-----

I think it's "Girls Night Out" for me tonight. Maybe I should take a nap, so I don't doze off in the middle of it.

-----

"Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops." - Kurt Vonnegut

"Don't you fight it till you've tried it ..."

I won't say, "I told you so" ... BUT. Byebye Hayley. Next week on American Idol (as if you care): Martina McBride. And while I'm no longer a big country music fan, I do love to hear her sing. But it makes me shudder to imagine Little Miss Sanjaya whispering a country song.

-----

There wasn't a poker win to celebrate last night (thank God!), but he did come in 2nd. And he won his $20 "investment" back. I bet it won't be long before we're hosting those party animals here again.

-----

Bad news for me: I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. Leave your condolences in the Comments section, please.

-----

Did I mention we're dog-sitting this weekend? Actually, Emilie is dog-sitting, and we're watching. Jud is off to bachelor-party it up with his future brother-in-law, so Allie is coming to "pend da night" at our house. Poor Maggie. She'll need some Kitty Xanax before Sunday.

-----

"I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words." - Ellen DeGeneres

-----

Adam ... hi. :-) I miss you, and CAN'T WAIT until you are home again. Hang in there. One more weekend.

"I told ya, I was troubled ..."

Hump Day.

Nothing much happening ... the weather sucks. Should be better tomorrow though.

I read today that Justin Timberlake is collaborating with Madonna on her next CD, to be released sometime at the end of this year. I just thought you might want to know about that.

The engineers are playing poker tonight. I hope they will be able to hold the party noise down, wherever they are.

American Idol: Hayley can go, but after that, if Sanjaya stays, I'm ... I'm ... grrr ... well, I'll be ticked off. I'm now officially a Blake fan. #2: Jordin.

And now I'm off for some fun at Sam's Club. Whooooo!

"Write, write on ..."

April 10. And our taxes are done. Miracles still happen.

-----

Easter Sunday was a quiet one at our house. I cooked a medium-sized dinner for all who could come. (We missed you bigtime, Adam.) I thought it all looked very yummy, but nothing tasted like I thought it should. I've always been teased about that ... everyone says I criticise the food I cook. But that's really not what I was doing on Sunday. I think it had more to do with my bypassed gastric. It was all just "blah". Except for the fruit pizza. I had a small slice after we ate. And then, while I was watching The Sopranos, I had another (larger) slice. That last one almost did me in. WHEN will I learn? I was sick for hours.

-----

Speaking of Tony ... and aren't I always? ...

I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE ARE ONLY EIGHT EPISODES LEFT. That breaks my heart. Sad, to be so in love with a TV show, I know. But I will mourn. Mourn, I say.

Loved the episode on Sunday night. Drunk Carmela singing "Love Hurts" ... oy. And the whole "drunk family board game" time was a little TOO familiar. (We always played Monopoly with the Free Parking Money rule too ... "Fuck the Parker Brothers!") Tony and Janice are the most believable brother and sister pair in television history. I love every scene they do together. I had to laugh when Tony got mad at her for telling the family story about Tony Senior shooting the gun through Livia's beehive hairdo, worried that it would make their family look dysfunctional. (ha!) Janice is scarier to me than any of the men in the show.

This is one series that you absolutely CAN'T start watching in Season 2 or 5 ... you must start at the beginning. It's a story told in layers, each scene building on something that happened several seasons ago. It's, without a doubt, the best-written, best-acted TV ever put out there. That was my opinion, of course ... feel free to have your own. :-)

Carmela: "So did you guys look at her hair? Was there powder burns?"
Janice: "She had a bob the next day."

Heh.

-----

It's Paperwork Day in my world. It ranks right up there with Toilet Cleaning Day. *sigh*

"I got soul, but I'm not a soldier ..."

I like The Killers. You?

-----

Better late than never for a Friday entry, I've always said. I got in a little while ago from a wild and crazy shopping trip to the big city of Gaffney, SC. I rode up there with 2 good buddies, we met another girl there ... and we invaded the Outlet Mall. I found some good deals at Bath And Body Works, which made me really glad I went. But I would have enjoyed the time with friends, even if there were no deals to be found. We ended up at Wild Wings in Spartanburg, where we all ate 2 wings each and got tipsy after one cocktail. (Except for Melissa, who prefers her meat "without bones". Heh.)

Thanks for the fun afternoon, ladies. Let's do it again SOON.

-----

Tomorrow I'll be playing with my Dyson, and making a trip to Bloom for Easter Dinner fixins. Not really looking forward to any of that, but I'll feel good when the house is cleaner. I haven't totally decided on Sunday's menu, but I know it'll involve a ham, since I bought that on Wednesday.

-----

Amy, thanks again! And girrrrl, quit tryin' to get me in trouble. Jimmy has threatened to wring my neck if I spilled his secret before he gives the go-ahead. I keep trying to be a good wife, so my lips are sealed. But we will be at the beach September 15th thru the 22nd. It would be awesome if we were all there at the same time! We will definitely have to plan for that one of these days.

-----

Adam, thanks for making me laugh all day long ... every time I think about "Zombie Jesus", I have to snicker. Ya goof. Maybe I should have taken you to church more when you were a kid? Naaa ... then who would make me laugh?? Hang in there, up in frozen Canada. Take care of you.

-----

It's not even 10 PM and I'm going to BED. Have a good weekend, all.

"The days keep scribbling themselves in tidy lines ..."

Q: How do we know when Dawn has nothing to write about?

A: She does one of these ....

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.

I don't think I've ever had one of those.

2. When was the last time you shaved?

Yesterday. I shave before I go to the tanning bed, which is about 3 times a week. I know this falls under the category of "Things I Must Know About That Lady".

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 am?

Checking my e-mail.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Getting a goodbye hug from Emilie ... she's back to Clemson for the weekend.

5. Are you any good at math?

Oh Lord. I can add and subtract, does that count?

6. Your prom night, what do you remember about it?

It was 1977, and we were with my best friend and her date. We smoked pot, we went to a "fancy" restaurant, and then we stood around, looking bored, at the prom. It was uncool to dance in '77, I guess. I thought my dress was ultra sexy though ... it was black, had an open back, and I felt pretty in it.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?

Not a one.

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

Not yet.

9. Last thing received in the mail?

An invitation to a memorial service for patients of Lutheran Hospice, to be held later this month. I think I'll go in memory of Grandma F.

10. How many different beverages have you had today?

One. Water.

11. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?

Kiss. Ha!

12. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

I don't think I've ever engaged my brain to that degree when my feet are in beach sand.

13. What’s the most painful dental procedure you’ve had done?

I had a root canal back in the late 80's, and it scarred me for life. I've had another one done more recently, and discovered they don't all feel like the dentist is poking a hot wire down the middle of a nerve. Thank God.

14. What is out your back door?

A deck, with a gas grill, some chairs and a table.

15. What did you do last night?

Cooked an easy dinner; talked to Brandy on the phone; watched American Idol, South Park, and a Sopranos rerun; took a shower; and went to sleep.

16. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

My hair usually never touches ocean water, but I don't care what my hair looks like when I'm near the ocean.

17. Have you ever received one of those big tins with 3 different kinds of popcorn?

I got one once with 2 different kinds of popcorn: caramel and cheddar cheese. Tasty.

18. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

I'm pretty sure I have ... but I'm using Brain Boredom Blocker, and those memories are gone.

19. Do you re-use towels after you shower?

Nope ... once I use a towel, it goes to the laundry. It's terrible, I know.

20. Something you are excited about?

The thing I'm most excited about, I can't talk about yet. Hee! Second on the excitement scale is our vacation in September. We have rented the coolest house in Cherry Grove Beach, and I can't WAIT.

21. What is your favorite flavor of jell-o?

Strawberry.

22. Describe your key chain.

It's a loop of strong fabric, Clemson orange with tiny tiger paws all over it, attached to the actual metal ring that holds the keys. (This is fascinating stuff, no?)

23. Where do you keep your change?

In my wallet.

24. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

I have no idea.

25. What kind of winter coat do you own?

I made it through the winter without a coat ... my old coat is too big now.

26.. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Used to be closed, but now it's usually cracked open just wide enough to let Maggie (aka Fur Maker) in and out. I find we sleep lots better knowing a cat won't be clawing the door and carpet, trying to get in or out. Actually, that behavior belonged to our former kitty (aka Hayley the Devil Cat), and we just kept doing things the same way when we got Maggie.

27. Do you love someone right now?

I love my entire family, including the cat. I love my good friends, too.

28. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Nope, I'm a faithful bitch.

29. Do you have a crush on someone right now?

Why yes, I do.

<-- Him, too.

30.How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I gave away lots, when my shoe size changed with the weight loss, but I'm back up to 31 pairs now. And they're all black and brown. Shut up.

-----

Amy! You say the sweetest things. :-) I was hoping I'd be hearing that sort of thing from my husband, but since I'm not ... THANK YOU. It means a lot!

"But I said 'no, no, no' ..."

And so it's April.

This time of year ... so full of new life (and pollen) ... seems to always find me thinking of funerals. It's been 13 years since Daddy's funeral on April Fool's Day. And now, almost one year has passed since we said goodbye to Grandma F.

So much has changed in the last 12 months. But I don't think I'll ever forget how it felt to be in that nursing home, hour after hour, during her last week on earth. I met her when I was 17 years old, and she was 65. And I'm awed by the fact that I was the person that got to sit by her while she died.

I wonder if she knows how much I miss her.

-----

The weekend was a fast one. Em and Jud came by for a minute on Friday, and Adam and Brandy came for dinner on Saturday ... so all were accounted for and hugged.

The bathroom painting is complete! There's still no doorknob, and the window blinds aren't hung. Today I need to iron the shower curtain, and put the towels and stuff in place. And I still haven't bought a rug. But that's pretty much the way things go around here. It's never really finished.

But yeah. Only our bedroom and bath remain to be painted, and then I can FINALLY call the carpet guy to redo the 2nd story floors!!!

-----

Support group and UPS (Upstate Pouch Support) get-together tonight ... I look forward to seeing those folks so much, it'd probably creep them all out if they knew. Heh.

"Say it all, say it right ..."

Life is quiet right now, so there's not much to blab about. I do hate this weather. It was in the 50's and drizzly yesterday, and about the same today, so far. Typical Spring in the southland though ... 85 degrees one day, sleet the next.

Hey! There's paint on the walls in Em's bathroom! Whooooo! And I'm crossing everything I've got, hoping that the woodwork will be done before the weekend comes to a close. I'm heading to Lowes today to shop for a new light fixture, new sink faucet, towel bars, and window blinds. I think I'll try to find a new rug too. I've already bought a new shower curtain and towels.

It's still not a sure thing, but my hopes are raised ... maybe before I'm 65, we'll have new flooring and I can invite friends over again! I'm so ashamed of my nasty old carpet and torn-up kitchen floor.

-----

If you're so inclined, please say a little prayer for my Mom. She's had a bad week, with her knee pain. She's waiting to hear about an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, and she's ready to have it replaced. If my Mama is wishing for surgery, we KNOW she's in some major pain. I hope this can all be resolved quickly for her, so she can be all well and feeling great by the time our family vacation rolls around in mid-September.

-----

Adam's coming home tonight!

-----

Hope y'all have a beautiful weekend. Don't be an April Fool!

"I find myself choking on all my contradictions ..."

Whoooooo! Cute boys with "fauxhawks" RULE.

Talent?? Thhbbbbtt ... who cares?!!?

OK, let me just get this out of my system and we'll move on. I know ... Chris Sligh messed up. He has no rhythm. He sang ahead of the beat and moved his body behind the beat, which really made me quite dizzy. And since Simon spanked him the first time, he's been like a scolded little boy ... afraid to let his personality really shine. And what I thought in the beginning was a killer sense of humor was starting to look more and more like an unearned air of self-importance and superiority. So, maybe it was time to end the torture and vote him off. His face had the look of someone totally expecting what was ahead, and when we overheard him say to one of the others, "You owe me 50 bucks" ... well, that leads me to believe he knew last night was his night. Buhbye.

And now Sanjaya seems to be embracing the fact that most people think he's a joke. But it pisses me off because he knows his performance can totally suck, and he'll still stick around for the next week's show.

OH! And while I'm complaining, let me add this: I'm jumping off the Lakisha train. She bores me ... her facial expression never changes.

New favorites: Jordin, Blake, and (maybe) Melinda. Melinda's a fantastic singer, but I'm dying to hear her sing something more contemporary. (Like from the early 90's!!!) And her surprised look of "ME?? " when the audience cheers for her is getting old.

I told you I was a cranky old bitch.

-----

Let's see ... what else.

Um.

Nope ... nothing.

Have a good Thursday.

"Love to wash in your old bathwater ..."

It's American Idol Wednesday, here at ATI.

My eyes! My eyes!!! That hairdo ate through my corneas.

Seriously. Is he mocking us?!? I'm stumped for words. But it's obviously keeping me entertained, waiting to see what he's going to come up with next.

Sanjaya singing "Bathwater"

It was another hot, steamy mess ... he forgot some words ... and I bet he'll still be there next week!

-----

Hey Adam. I bought some ply yesterday. See how easily influenced I can be? You tell me it tastes like plywood, and I want to eat one! Mmmmm ... ply. (I actually haven't tasted it yet, but it's on the menu for later today.)

"I will survive (hey hey) ..."

But it may take awhile.

I'm back from my fun in the sun. And I'm a year older. Whoo hooo!

Actually, that may have been my favorite birthday ever. I was near the ocean, I got to lay in the (low humidity) sunshine for a little bit, I got my picture taken with Don Vito of MTV's "Jackass" and "Viva La Bam" in Hooters (this old lady had no idea who he was until they told me) ...

... and I spent the evening in a nightclub with a Birthday Shot Glass hanging around my neck on hot pink beads ... and I danced the night away. Whoo hoo is RIGHT.

The trip was just about perfect. We didn't stay long enough to get on each other's nerves (OK, some of my nerves were "got on" at times ... but I'm a bitch), there was always somebody to hang out with and talk to, and the weather was absolutely perfect for being outside. We ate at Hard Rock Cafe the first night, and at Dick's Last Resort on my birthday. (My condom hat said, "Telemarketer Dick's Phone Sex Specialist" ... hee!) What a great group of women!

-----

But now it's back to the real world. The house is buried in cat hair fluffballs, floating around like tumbleweeds. And there's grocery shopping to be done. (sigh)

(I'm shocked to learn that Anna Nicole died because she had massive amounts of DRUGS in her system. So shocked.)

Before I go, I'll share with you my incredible Birthday Bling, provided by my sweet friend, Kathy ...

Dawn's 48, and doesn't look a day over 47.

"I want to be where the sun warms the sky ..."

Busy, busy ... you?

I leave for "Beach Weekend With The Girls" tomorrow around noon, and I'm still the Queen of Procrastination ... which means I have about 3 days worth of STUFF I wanted to do before I leave. I guess there's no time to vacuum. Drat.

I hope everyone will behave while I'm gone. And I really hope I come home to NO WALLPAPER in Emilie's bathroom. To dream of actual new paint on the walls is to wish for miracles, and I save my miracle-wishing for things that really matter in this world.

Like "Please don't let my thighs scare people on the beach."

"If you give, you begin to live ..."

Welcome, Spring. At 8:07 PM this evening, Spring will officially be here ... which explains the expected high of 56 degrees on Wednesday. I will not complain though, since the forecast for my weekend at the beach is predicting sunny skies, with temps in the low 80's. Whooooo!

-----

Enjoyed a very quick trip down to LaGrange to visit with Laura and Melody on Saturday night. It was a houseful, considering they have 3 big dogs and 2 cats. Adding me was bordering on overcrowding ... but they were gracious hosts. We yakked the day and night away.

I noticed an alarming (coincidence?) trend on this drive down Interstate 85, as well as the trip we made to Columbus two weeks ago. Drivers are INSANE. While speeding along at 90 mph, some people think nothing of attempting to change lanes without really looking to see if my ancient Toyota was there first. My horn sounded far too friendly, even when I was laying on the damn thing. I wish I had a dime for every time I said "motherf*cker!" on my trip this weekend. This is a sign of age, right? ... the old lady complaining is really picking up lately.

-----

Em is enjoying her time in Ohio with Jud's family. It's cold there, so I imagine their trip to Charleston on Thursday will be a warm treat for her.

Adam got to come home on Friday! They invited me to dinner on Sunday, after I returned from GA ... Adam made his special spaghetti sauce (YUM) and Brandy made a killer salad (YUM again). I tried my hand at the new Wii. And basically just loved seeing their faces for a little while. Tomorrow I'll drive Adam to the airport for his flight back to the North Country, where he'll stay for another 10 days. I know it's getting old for him, but he's being a good sport. (Being paid to do it also helps with the attitude, I'm sure.)

-----

Hey, I got my driver's license renewed yesterday. For the first time in 20 years or so, my weight is not a lie. Well, that's a lie. I actually gave them my goal weight, which is 17 pounds under what I weight right now. (Just in case I actually ever get there, ya know.) I'd say that's a major improvement over the HUNDRED pounds I was lying about on the last one.

I was unable to read the eye chart without my glasses. The woman kept telling me to try again, without the glasses, but my eyes just wouldn't cooperate. Now I have the little "A" on my license that means I can't drive without my "corrective lenses".

-----

Woke at 4:30 AM today, unable to drift back to where I wanted to be. Maybe this means today will be totally productive. I plan to walk on the treadmill, do lots of laundry, show up on time for a nail appointment, and buy a damn bra that fits.

"A little unlady-like, what can I say? ..."

The kid seems sweet as can be ... but for the love of God ...



More Sanjaya next week.

-----

I learned yesterday, after thinking that my fake nails were not holding up the way they should, that the tanning bed will "yellow" fake nails. Great. I'm thinking I'll take painter's tape with me and put a little bit on each finger before I bake. Does that make me the wife of a cheap engineer? Thought so.

Actually the tanning girl said they could order nail covers for me. If they cost on the same scale as the lotions they sell, I'm expecting about $25 a finger. I'll stick with the blue tape.

-----

Em leaves tomorrow for a trip to Ohio & Charleston with Jud. Have a great time!

And I've officially committed to a visit with Laura and Melody in GA for Saturday/Sunday. On the road again ...

-----

More TV talk ... I DVR'ed a new program on Fx, and watched it last night. "The Riches" ... I think it airs on Monday nights ... interesting. Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver star, and it's unlike anything I've seen on TV in a long while. And y'all know I've seen a LOT of TV in my 72 years. It's not getting good reviews, but it's definitely different. I'll stick around for a few more episodes to decide for myself.

Speaking of ... "Dancing With The Stars" starts next week! It's finally Christmas for Jimmy! I'll likely watch this season just to boo loudly when Heather Mills (Paul McCartney's money-grubbin' ex) is on. And one of these days soon ... April something, I think ... "The Sopranos" will return for the final nine episodes. This show is not really known for tying up all the loose ends it leaves laying around, but I really hope Tony's last line is "Whutta ya gonna do?" Best line ever ... especially when he said it to every person who extended sympathy to him at his Mother's death. Loved it.

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Happy Ides of March. And rest in peace, Julius Caesar. (Wikipedia teaches me something new every day.)

"You pay for what you get ..."

Happy Hump Day.

No real news or topics of discussion, therefore if you're so inclined, you're free to move along. I won't be hurt.

I shopped a little yesterday, trying to find something "cute" to wear for my upcoming birthday weekend in Myrtle Beach with the girls. After so many decades of buying clothes in basically TWO stores (Catherines or Avenue ... Lane Bryant before Avenue was born), and buying what fit, rather than having a "style" and buying what I loved, well ... I'm struggling. I ended up at Old Navy yesterday, and bought a couple of inexpensive warm weather tops. And they feel a little "young" for me. I know that's not true and doesn't really matter ... but I just have NO IDEA how I want to dress anymore!!! Arrrghhh.

The weather yesterday was ideal here in Greenville, South Cackilacky. Around 78 degrees, no humidity, nice sunshine. Today will be near the same, only with more clouds. After spending the entire winter huddled in front of a space heater, it feels excellent.

I'm attempting to work a little more here and there, as I find spare half-hour spots. My last paycheck was $16.28. Try to contain your envy. That's what not working on a weekend (the Columbus trip) will do for me. I'm probably going to have another pitiful paycheck though, since I'm 80% sure I'm headed back to GA this weekend to spend the night at Sister Laura's house, and then the next weekend, I'll be acting the fool in Myrtle Beach with crazy women. (The talk now is who is getting what tattoo while we're there. I hope I don't come home with a "tramp stamp" above my saggy ass. Jimmy would totally disown me, and he's barely tolerating me now. I really am thinking of getting a henna tattoo though ... maybe not tell him it's not permanent, just to see how much disapproval he can project though his eyes, since he's basically given up talking to me. I know, I know ... I'm evil and I'm going to hell. By they way, is there a grammar rule on how long you can keep writing inside parentheses?)

The painter is enjoying a hiatus. He told me that the 1st bathroom would be started Monday night. But I heard, through Emilie, that he was easily talked into more time off after learning she'd be gone all next week. It's her bathroom, so I guess it will be easier to do what he wants to do (remove the toilet, mirror, and eventually change the light fixture and faucet) without her needing to use the room. I do have many doubts that he will even be close to finishing in one week's time though. And I really AM being patient with this process, y'all. I'm not bitching. Remember, he CHOSE to do the work. But damn. It's going on 5 months now. (She said, with teeth clenched.)

Complain, complain, bitch, whine, complain. That's about it!

"Ready? Let's roll onto something new ..."

Mid-March already. I'll be 85 years old in a few years, the way time is flying.

The weekend was over before it started. We did have a nice Saturday night ... Em and Jud brought the puppy for some playtime in the dog park at Cleveland Park. I got invited to go along, and I loved seeing all the dogs! Every butt was sniffed (not by me), and Allie was so sweet. She ran around and said hi to everybody there.

We came back here, I cooked dinner, then we played a new game Brandy brought over. It's called Quelf, and it was the craziest game I've ever seen. Totally random rules. (I had to spend a good part of the game holding hands with Jimmy, with my other hand on the floor.) We decided it'll be a great game for the beach, where Grandma will provide the silliness and the rest of us will be drunk. Yay.

Don't know how I feel about the early time change thing. "Springing Forward" is always more difficult for me than "Falling Back" anyway. It was dark when I woke up this morning at 7:00 AM.

I got out and took a walk late yesterday afternoon. Jimmy said I was gone for almost an hour. I was totally enjoying listening to my music, and the weather was just about perfect. And I've already done 45 minutes on the treadmill today. Go me.

Today is paperwork/bill paying, and support group tonight. That hot little boy chef is leading group again tonight, so I'll be in the front row ... wishing I was 25 again. *sigh*

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(Waving to Adam in Canada ... hey! I still miss you. Have you heard Weird Al Yankovic's parody of Green Day's "American Idiot"? It's called "Canadian Idiot", and I'd post a link to YouTube if I wasn't so damn lazy. He must not have a video out to that particular song, because the only things there are other people's homemade stuff with the song playing. Anyway, it made me laugh and think of you. Hope your beard stays unfrozen this week. One week from today, you can come home and play Wii! Wooo hoooo! I can only imagine how happy you are aboot THAT!)

"Sick sick bit, just can't quit ..."

"American Idol" spoilers ahead ... that's my official warning to you slowpokes who haven't seen the show this week. Now I'm covered. No whining. (Good LORD, the things I do for you people. I do and do and DO.)

Anyway, was it just Emilie and me who were aghast and slightly disillusioned when TWO of the three judges (the musical "experts", remember?) had no idea who 311 was? I understand some of us elderly folks in the world DO fall behind on the latest trends ... it's hard to keep up with what's hot right now --- wearing your hoodie "hood" on your head or not ... purse the size of a small piece of luggage?? ... bald women?? ... Chuck Taylors or flipflops?? -- all that and I still have to remember to take my Geritol and eat prunes. It's too much.

Back to AI. So Tuesday night, out jumps Blake, and he starts singing "All Mixed Up" by 311. I sat up in my chair, and said, "HEY! It's a popular song! Finally!!!" I get so sick of hearing all the older stuff. (Although my Mama feels exactly the opposite ... when she recognizes the song, like that one time Fantasia sang "Summertime" ... she's so happy. All the other stuff, she's hearing it for the first time.)

So Blake did a 311 song that's "only" about 10 years old ... and RANDY (the judge who knows everything) says, "New song to me Dawg ... I'm not familiar with that one ... blah blah blah." Em and I looked at each other with confusion, but we knew Paula would straighten him out. Paula said, "Yeah ... don't know that song at all .... but you looked great singing it ... blah blah blah."

Wha?? I can't even remember what Simon said, because I was now deep into trying to figure it out. Aren't those three supposed to be all up in the popular music scene? I've lost faith in Paula Abdul, y'all. I was standing strong beside her as she was raked over the "she's on painkillers, she can't sit up, she's slurring her words" coals. I was still her girl. Maybe I was a little jealous. Dunno. Now I'm forced to rethink my Paula-love. Disillusioned, I tell ya.

Sick. I'm sick. American Idol watchin' is the The Devil. Save me, y'all.

Oh. oh. oh! Thank you America, for sending that Antonella chicka packing last night. She chose the one song that's so damn easy to sing, even I sound good when I sing along with it in the car. To quote the brilliant Simon: "You've gone as far as you can go in this competition". Penthouse, here she comes.

But America. WHYYYYYYY is that little boy/girl Sanjaya still sitting there? I know he's young, and I know his hair is better than mine ever was or will be. But damn. To get rid of Sundance just because he tried and failed at a Pearl Jam song was so harsh. He got extra credit from me, just for singing something from Pearl Jam. It brightened my night considerably, amidst all the Stevie Wonder and John Mayer. Don't get me wrong, I love me some John Mayer. Only I don't like Sanjaya singing it. (shiver)

It's bound to happen, but I'll be sad to see the local boy, Chris Sligh, get the boot one of these days. Aside from the fact that I'm getting the vibe that he wears a "WWJD" belt buckle, he seems like a fun guy, and I hope he goes far in the competition.

Here's my expert opinion on the Final Two: Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones. They are both amazing. On Wednesday night, I watched Melinda's entire performance with my mouth slightly hanging open ... so fixated was I on her totally polished and professional TALENT. If another Taylor Hicks wins this year, I don't know what I'll do. Don't mess this up again, America. Fuckers.

"Make the best of this test and don't ask why ..."

So I took a day to recover from the drive.

We left on Friday morning to visit family in Columbus GA. Nice, sunny day ... made for a lovely trip. (If you don't count the tension in the car.) Oh, and my earbuds for the new-to-me iPod were drowned in a sea of spilled sweet tea. Only one side works now. Guess I'll look for an affordable replacement soon, since I was truly enjoying my new toy.

Columbus was in a mess when we got there. On Thursday evening, an F2 tornado had torn a path through the north end of town where my Mom lives. Thankfully, the damage was all around her neighborhood ... not IN it. Jimmy got out on Saturday morning and took some pictures of some of the devastation to the businesses in the area. There were many homes destroyed, as well. Mother was without electricity for about 20 hours, and had no cable TV (GASP ... QVC withdrawal!!!) for 48 hours. But less than 2 miles from her, people lost their homes.

Sister Laura drove down for a few hours on Saturday ... and we enjoyed some time at Michael and Patti's house that night, as the family celebrated Hallie's 17th birthday. (17!!?! How is that even possible?)

All in all, a nice weekend ... enjoyed seeing everyone. Well, everyone except the owner of the restaurant where Sister Kay and her kids work ... he's an asshole, who thinks he should be on tour with the Blue Collar Comedy guys. Thhhbbbt. And we never got to see our nephew Josh, who had a bad stomach bug. :-(

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I was thinking outloud while I was there, tossing around the idea of putting together a small family reunion for my Mother's side of the family this summer. There were nine of us cousins who saw each other on a pretty regular basis while we were growing up, and now we only say hello at funerals anymore. And the older generation is down to my Mother, her brother and his wife, and another brother's wife ... only 4 of them over the age of 70. Dat's it. Sad. Anyway, I was thinking maybe I could pick a Sunday in the summer, and a central location like the Pine Mountain/Callaway Gardens area in GA, and send invites. Everybody could bring food and drinks, and we'd all get to know each other again. Key Word: THINKING.

So then the phone rang, and it's my cousin calling to speak to my Mom about my Aunt's recent discharge from rehab, after her heart bypass surgery ... and I hear my Mom telling him, "Oh yes ... Dawn is planning a reunion for us all this summer!"

Gotta learn to SHADDUP.

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*WAVE* *AIR KISSES* *ANOTHER WAVE* ... to Adam, who is all the way up in Montreal again. This time, for fifteen-freaking days. I hope it goes by really fast for you, honey. We miss you.

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I'm taking advantage of the "available to me for life" psychologist today. I'm going to try to talk as fast as I can while I'm with him, so I can get it all OUT. I'm hoping he'll whip out the narcotics AND the Valium, but he'll probably just make me stand up and say "I AM WORTH WHATEVER IT TAKES" ... over and over again, until my time is up. We shall see.

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Tomorrow is the night Jimmy will be hosting his poker buddies here. I should probably start to think about what to throw out on the table for them to eat. I can't decide between taco soup in the crock pot, or a layered Mexican dip with tortilla chips.

Either way, I'll be in the bedroom with American Idol ... with my Antonella-hatin' self.

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Thanks Amy for the compliments!!! I don't hear it very often, and it's hard for me to "just say thanks" ... I should probably add that to the list for Dr. Russell today.

"She's freaky and she knows it ..."

I have officially entered my second youth. Just a warning, is all I'm saying.

The concert last night was UNBELIEVABLE!!! I literally drooled when the man danced. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. He is incredibly talented musically ... and I spent the entire night with a dumb grin on my face, just to be in the same humongous room with him. GAWD. He's hot.

Pink was the opener ... and she was really good. She sang "Stupid Girls", which I love. She also sang "Dear Mr. President" (without the Indigo Girls, unfortunately), and "Get The Party Started". Oh, and "Family Portrait". Good stuff. She ended doing crazy gymnastic stuff on a fabric swing high above the stage ...while she sang. Great opener!

(Timbaland and T.I. also performed ... not that I really knew who they were, before last night. I have to say that the crowd went nuts for T.I., and Timbaland did a really great "intermission" show.)

Then ... Justin. What more can I possibly tell you? He was gorgeous ... he sang ... he danced ... he toasted Atlanta with a shot of tequila, and then had to wipe his eyes because it made them water ... and in the end, he gave the most sincere talk about how grateful he is for his fans and his success and the life he is living. *sigh*

Awesome, awesome night. (Thank you Brandy, for wanting to go with ME!)

Here's some of what we enjoyed last night:

"Senorita"

"What Goes Around"

"My Love"

"Sexy Back"

"Rock Your Body"

"Cry Me A River"

"Love Stoned" ... bad sound quality, but the video is worth the watch. (I'm drooling again.)

Another view of "Love Stoned"

"Like I Love You"

Someday I may decide to be 47 again ... but not today.

"If I wrote you a symphony ..."

Oh my.


Will they even let 47-year-old women IN? I hope I'm not the most elderly person there tonight.

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Still have no answer about the damn vitamins. The support group schedule said that the surgeon was speaking last night. Instead, the new chef was there, telling us about ... ahh, hell ... I don't know what he was talking about. I was too busy giggling with Jen about how cute he was. And he kept saying things like "boning knife", and that would get us started all over again. (Yes, I'm having my second go-'round in middle school.)

The worst part was afterwards ... I introduced myself to him, and found out he went to high school with my kids. Oy. I'm so incredibly old.

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I got nothing today, y'all.

If you never see me again, assume that I ran away with Justin Timberlake.

"What goes around, goes around, goes around ..."

Welcome to "The Week Of Justin".

Tomorrow night ... Philips Arena ... Atlanta GA ... we're bringin' sexy back. (I think I'm too old for that, but I'm doin' it anyway.)

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The weekend was nice. On Saturday, Adam came over before noon. Brandy was working half a day, and he came to "hang out". Of course he ended up helping his dad. They installed a new CD player in Jimmy's truck, among various other odd jobs. He updated some stuff on my laptop, too. (Thanks, honey.) After Brandy finished working, we headed over to Macaroni Grill, where the consumption of much wine ensued. We had the worst service known to man, but we hardly noticed, thanks to the chianti. (No census-taker-liver or fava beans, though. "Ff-ff-ff-ff.") After the 3-hour meal, we came back here, where Brandy helped me get started on adding some songs to my new-to-me iPod. (Thanks for the iPod, Emilie!) Then we watched "The Departed" ... LOVED it. (It won Best Picture on Sunday ... I had only seen one other nominee, "Little Miss Sunshine", and while that was totally wonderful, I don't think it compared in 'Oscar-worthiness' to "The Departed". So, yay.)

After the movie, I was tired, the night was rainy ... good sleepin', right? Wrong. See above: Too Much Wine. Grrr.

Sunday I worked a little. I talked to a lady in California who told me her name was "Mary Christmas". Yikes. After work, I started on the new iPod addiction. Where will it end? Rehab, I suppose. I added Abba, Garth Brooks, and Aerosmith, among others What! ... my tastes are varied. It kept me so occupied, I completely missed The Oscars. Thank God for online gossip sites or I'd never know who wore what.

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Today is:
~ More work.
~ More iPod obsession.
~ Support Group at Dr. Bour's.
~ Upstate gals meeting after that.

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Speaking of Dr. Bour ... my appointment on Friday was good. I completely forgot to ask him about the damn vitamins. Hopefully I'll remember tonight. He told me I was on track with my weight loss ... I've lost 135 pounds since this time last year, and 114 since my surgery day. He wants me to lose 18 to 25 more before I'm "done". Crazy, huh?!

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Adding these 2 pics from Em and Jud's Saturday fishin' trip for Michael ... presenting your niece Emilie, the flyfisherwoman:

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And now I'm off to visit my treadmill with Justin. Don't forget what week it is, people.

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9:00 AM Edited to add:

Hello, my name is Dawn, and 30 years later, I'm still a Band Nerd. Last night, I added to my new-to-me iPod the 2001 Clemson drumline's marching cadences, along with the band playing Tiger Rag. I just discovered that I TOTALLY LOVE walking to that on my treadmill! I had to break out the "slow jog" for "Go Go Get'Em Get'Em" though. Heeeee! Would somebody start checking out possible rehab locations, just in case?

"I'm just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho ..."

Yay. Friday.

And it's a miracle ... backhoes and tractors take Fridays off. At least, as of 8:00 AM today, there is no action behind the house. I woke up at 6:45 anyway.

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I tried on bathing suits yesterday. Ouch. Actually, it wasn't nearly as traumatic as it used to be. And the skirted tankinis hid 90% of the melted thighs. I just didn't find anything I wanted to spend $80 on just yet.

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Em sent some pictures last night ... I hope they don't mind me sharing. If they do, I'll remove them, so look quick.


Jud and Emilie practicing their target skills:



A modern day Bonnie and Clyde ... only they shoot at clay. (I'll have to try to get some "fishin' pics" one of these days to make Em's Uncle Michael happy.)


One more set ... this one never fails to make me smile. Jud posed with new puppy, Allie, on his shoulders last fall, soon after she was adopted. To mark her rapid-fire growth, he posed again last night (about 3 months later). I hope his back is OK this morning.



Hee! That is one sweet puppy.

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Doctor's appointment today ... I can't wait to ask him WHEN OH WHEN can I stop with the god-awful chewable vitamins. I've heard he wants us using them for a full year. Gag.

Have a nice weekend, will you?

"Her face is a map of the world ..."

Another day ... BEEP BEEP BEEP. The weather is supposed to be very nice indeed today, so I'm planning to take a walk to escape from the noise for a bit.

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Tomorrow I have my official 9 Month Appointment with Dr. Bour. When I went in at 6 months, his assistant Katie gave me a tiny bit of grief that I wasn't losing "fast enough". She said I should have lost a certain percentage of my excess body weight by that point, and I hadn't. I was feeling quite crappy after talking with her, because I was feeling pretty good about things until she opened her mouth. When Dr. Bour came in, he did nothing but praise my progress. I asked him if I was losing too slowly, or if I was behind in my progress ... and he said "HELL NO!" So I don't know why Katie gave me such a hard time, but now I'm already dreading seeing her tomorrow.

I've been at the same weight for over a week now ... I really can't remember how long I've seen the same number on the scale every morning. And because I weigh on a different scale in his office, AND with regular clothes on, I always weigh anywhere from 3 to 5 pounds heavier there.

The good news is, according to my scale (and in my nightgown), I have lost 110 pounds since my operation ... and 131 since last February. And if I could ever stop comparing myself to others in my support group, who are younger than me and losing FASTER than me, I could feel 100% of that incredible accomplishment. I'm 22 pounds away from the goal Dr. Bour set for me. My mind can't even wrap around that fact ... that I'm 22 pounds away from "normal". After 27 years of being way above "normal", this is all uncharted territory!

(I would also faint dead away if I ever got a sincere compliment from my husband. He told me a few weeks ago, that he didn't feel he needed to tell me I'm getting smaller, or that I look pretty ... after all, isn't that why I had the surgery? Isn't that what I expected to happen? .... *Is that how ALL engineers think??* I decided, after that little exchange, to stop wishing he'd tell me I look good. Maybe I'll hear it one of these days from a complete stranger.)

Bad news? The skin. Oy. It's wrinkled. And "hangy". And I can hide the majority of it in clothes, thank God. And the main wrinkled hangy that's on public display at all times ... my turkey waddle ... has almost stopped being an issue for me. I have ALMOST reached an acceptance point with my chin and neck area. Maybe because I can't see it, unless I'm looking in a mirror? And the belly wrinkles, and the ass wrinkles, and the old lady boobs (sorry, kids) ... they can all be hidden under clothes. My one BIG issue is .............. my inner thighs. They look like melted candles. Like elephant skin. Like gravity was just increased 75%. (sigh)

I'm planning a fun trip to Myrtle Beach on my birthday weekend with 7 other Upstate WLS girls ... and we're meeting a bunch of other WLS folks from eastern SC while we're there. For the most part, I'm excited and looking forward to it. I don't think I've ever taken a trip by myself (unless it was to visit family), so this will be a new experience for me. And I really DO want to wear a bathing suit. The hotel we're staying in has a huge indoor pool area with multiple hot tubs, and even an indoor "lazy river" ... which sounds like it would be the perfect place to sip on an all-day cocktail.

So anyway, the bathing suit shopping MUST commence. As much as I dread it, I have to get out there and find something I can live with.

All this, and a shaved head, too. EEEK!

"I got your hey oh ..."

Oh, HI! I'm a slacker. Did we have January already? Sorry, y'all. I'm really going to try to do better to regularly update you on the tediousness that is my life. I can only imagine how you've suffered not knowing.

In a nutshell, here's what you've missed:

~ I had a hysterectomy. She was supposed to take my ovaries out ... she "forgot". So I'm still half a woman. Yay.

~ Christmas. Yeah. I did too much, the house was crazy, and then it was over.

~ Emilie moved back home. It took a few weeks of "getting used to", on both of our parts. I'm happy with her here now ... she'd still rather be wherever Jud is. Can't say that I blame her.

~ Jimmy finished painting a second bedroom two minutes before Christmas, and has since painted the upstairs hallway area. Look for the first bathroom to be redone sometime in the next decade! New carpet to follow for my 65th birthday!!!

~ We got a DVR. Movin' on up, I tell ya.

~ I got my hair cut. In what is called an "age-appropriate length". Only I decided I don't like being 47, almost 48 ... in my hairstyle, anyway. It may take years, but I'm growing it back, dammit.

~

~ Uh. So yeah, you didn't miss much.

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Shall I just get the bitchin' out of the way first thing? OK.

Reason # 429 on the list of reasons I don't like my house:

When we bought this lot and built the house 18 years ago, there were woods on 2 sides of us. Nice. When the house was built next door, I was sad to see the trees and privacy go, but I dealt with it. Somehow we thought that, since there is a creek behind us, the trees back there would always stay put.

Wrong.

Visually, it makes me cry. That's the view from my bathroom window, which means it's also the view from our deck. I know that when the trees get their leaves, it'll be some better. But not much.

And oh my STARS, the noise. It's pouring rain as I type this, and they are still out there with the tractors and the yelling and the constant BEEP BEEP BEEP of the back-up alarms. It starts every morning just past 7 AM. I know that's when America wakes up, and I'm an ingrate for even wanting to be able to sleep at that hour. But hear me out.

I love my bed. I really like to sleep, too. And I don't HAVE to get up, so I usually don't. Doesn't mean I won't, if I have to. But most days, I'm a spoiled brat who gets to stay in bed until I feel like getting up. And when Bob and Sheri finally stop yakking away in the bathroom while my husband showers every morning from 5:30 to 6:30 AM ... that's when my REM sleep happens!

Not anymore, people. I can only imagine the sound of "quiet" anymore. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

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Bitch #2:

I have a STY. It started innocently enough, about 10 days ago. A tiny swelling on my right eyelid. For the last week, I haven't left the house ... afraid I would frighten small children and adults would be unable to stop staring. I have a huge, red, pulsating STY. For real, I haven't left the house since February 12th. This morning, I'm thinking that it might be a bit smaller, but it's probably just wishful thinking.

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That's all the bitchin' I can think of at the moment. Let's move on, shall we?

In case you missed it ... here's the latest visible evidence of what I like to call "The Crazy":

Bless her heart.

Night before last, I dreamed that I shaved my head, saying "It's already short ... what the hell difference will it make??" Then I got so upset, worried that everyone would think I was trying to be like Britney. "THE CRAZY"!

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Hey! I'm going to see Justin Timberlake in Atlanta with my daughter-in-law next week. How's THAT for "age-appropriate"?! Heeee.

"When it's Christmas in Carolina ..."

" ... it's Christmas all over the place."

Ah ... Squirrel Nut Zippers. Can't hardly beat that one.

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This time tomorrow, I'll be living it up with a new IV in my hand. Woo! I have to be at the hospital at 5:30 AM, so there'd better be drugs waiting on me when I get there.

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I've done some professional procrastinating over the cleaning chores around here. In other words, I haven't done any. I guess I'll do some today. (sigh) Depends on how much fun I have getting through the (whispering) bowel prep. Sorry kids.

I had a pedicure yesterday, so my toes will look nice when I'm snoring in the operating room. And I did another big trip to the grocery store. Hopefully, I'll just have to make one more trip (or send someone) on the 19th before our Christmas guests arrive.

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The problem with doing all my Christmas shopping early is that now I keep thinking of OTHER things I want to buy for everybody.

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The hall ceiling is hole-free. It ain't pretty, but you can't see the attic rafters anymore. He says he'll call someone professional to make it look right, but I'm not holding my breath on that one. And the fresh paint in Adam's old room has officially begun. Well, the patching of the nail holes has. Surely that will lead to paint soon.

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No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list

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This concludes Dawn's Tuesday Stream Of Consciousness.

"Christmas is here, bringing good cheer ..."

A Christmas Meme:

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate. This year, it’ll be sugar-free. Bah.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? When my kids were little, I followed the same tradition my Mom and Dad did when I was growing up. The gifts from Santa were never wrapped, but displayed under and around the tree. Gifts from Mom and Dad were wrapped. As we got older, all our gifts were wrapped. My grownup kids still get their stockings filled, and they know those are from Santa!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White, although I have been known to mix the two on a few trees over the years. Now we have a pre-lit artificial tree with all white lights. The lights on the mantle garland, the mini outdoor trees and the lights we string on the back deck are all white, too.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Yes. It never works for me though. Bah, again.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Usually by the time the first week in December is here, our decorations are up.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Daddy’s “Stuff”. Too much will make you pay, but it’s positively addictive.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child? When I was a kid, the whole season was simply magical. The older I get, the less magic there is. I do remember one Christmas Eve, I had to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and I was terrified I would interrupt Santa as he left our gifts under the tree. I called my father into my room, explained my predicament, and he lovingly walked with me and guided me to the bathroom … all the while, my eyes were squeezed tightly shut and covered with my hand.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don’t remember how, or who spoiled it all for me, but I remember being so worried about letting my Mom know that I knew the truth. I pulled her aside one night, and as gently as I could, I said, “Please don’t be mad at me, Mama. I know there is no Santa. But I PROMISE you I won’t tell Kay and Laura.” I wish she had told me that I was WRONG. I probably would have believed for another Christmas.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I don't. Sometimes when the kids would beg, we’d let them open one small gift on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? There’s no theme … it’s all the ornaments the kids made through the years at school, mixed with things I’ve had for years. I still buy something new every once in awhile. Lights, ornaments, gold and white “filler” (silk flowers and sparkly stuff), and candy canes. No garland and no icicles.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? We get it so rarely here, that I always love it. I hate to drive in though, and I hate to worry about my kids driving in it.

12. Can you ice skate? No, but I remember a winter trip to Minneapolis to visit my Dad’s family when I was little. My Dad went ice skating, and I was fascinated and totally impressed … I had no idea he could do that!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? There have been a few! I loved getting my Barbie doll in 1963 or 1964. And then the Mystery Date game a couple of years later made me feel like a teenager … so grown up!

I also loved getting my red and white Adidas shoes when I was 17.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? FAMILY.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Divinity! Give me egg whites and sugar, and I’m a happy camper. I will have to take the divinity madness slow and easy this year though, or I will be a sick-as-a-dog camper.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Cooking. I love to make all the goodies and cakes. And I love to be in the kitchen, with family all over the house. To me, that’s Christmas.

17. What tops your tree? A totally boring ivory colored bow with gold trim. I’d love to find the perfect star one of these days.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? No doubt about it, I love to give. I love shopping for loved ones, trying to find something that will make them smile on Christmas morning.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? I’ve always loved “Carol Of The Bells”, and I will cry just about every time I hear “Little Drummer Boy’. “Oh Holy Night” is another favorite.

20. Candy canes? Don’t really like them, unless they are the soft, melt-in-your-mouth sugar canes made by Bob’s. I hang the regular ones on the tree, and toss them out when Christmas is over.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? “Christmas Vacation” with Chevy Chase or “The Christmas Story” ("Oh, fuuuuuuuudge!").

22. What do you leave for Santa? Santa can eat any of the goodies off the dining room table.

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Went to dinner at Adam and Brandy's last night. The tree was decorated and the house looked sooooo pretty!

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I loved my new hairdresser! She lightened my hair, and cut it quite a bit. She was going to cut it way short, but decided to save that for next time. She said the lighter hair would be enough to get used to, with everything else that's going on this time of year. I'm almost disappointed, as I am SO ready for a change. Jimmy doesn't like it, of course. (sigh)

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A lot to do today ... gonna make zucchini bread and freeze it so we can have it for a breakfast or snack choice when family's here for Christmas, laundry awaits, there's cleaning to be started (and finished tomorrow), and I will work for an hour today on the phone.

Happy Sunday, everybody.

I'll just have an Earl Grey tea ..."

Once I got rolling yesterday, there was no stopping. Good grief.

In addition to the 2 appointments, which took HOURS ... we exchanged a Christmas gift on Woodruff Road. One word: TRAFFICFROMHELL. We ate lunch at Strossner's (yum). We went to an auto parts store so that Jimmy could get a new trailer hitch ball thingie for his truck. He's going to borrow the neightbor's trailer to get all of Em's stuff home in one trip today. We bought paint for Adam's old room at the Sherwin-Williams store. And we ended up at Sam's Club to get a few supplies and Christmas food for the masses. (Few Things From Sam's = over $200. Every time.) We got home at dinnertime, unloaded the car, ate leftovers, and stopped for the day.

Today I am seeing yet another new hairstylist. In my never-ending quest to have hair that looks "normal", I am trusting another stranger to do the right thing. The anxiety has already set in.

Before I go, I will work for an hour at my new job. I'm now working at home, answering phone calls for a national teleservices company. Right now I'm taking orders for just about everything you might see on TV that's offered with a 1-800 number, including Tempur-pedic mattresses, AARP health and auto insurance info, Natural Cures books, and Wild Party Girls dvds, to name just a few. Oh, the humanity. After the holidays, I'lll train for another project ... maybe Sears Home Repair or Pro Flowers. I love the abilty to work when I want to, and while I'm wearing my PJ pants. And I'm sitting down the whole time! Whoo.

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Almost time for the weekly phone call to my Mom. And the day begins. Y'all have a good one.

"There's something wrong with the world today ..."

... I don't know what it is. (Amen, Aerosmith.)

I understand that a lot of Americans are totally focused on "Celebrity News", whatever that is. Magazines like People and Us Weekly are packed with fascinating peeks into the lives of role models (ahem) like Nicole Richey, Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton and her new best friend who needs panties for Christmas. I will even admit to reading a little bit of the stuff every day online from my favorite Hollywood gossip site. (That's how I knew Britney needed panties. And a swift kick in the ass.)

But y'all. Damn. The other night, I had the local 6pm news on in the background while I finished up wrapping gifts. I stopped, mid-wrap, when I heard our local "journalist" announce the breaking news that .............. are you sitting down? ...............

JENNIFER ANISTON AND VINCE VAUGHN HAVE SPLIT UP!!! (Gasp!)


Please, someone explain to me how this is "news". They are 2 very ordinary actors who have dated each other for a few years ... and their breakup is announced on the Greenville, SC local news hour? As I listened to the news anchor give the heartbreaking details to the people in Greenville County, I started to wonder if our celebrity obsession had gone a couple of steps too far. I mean, come ON. They weren't married, they didn't have kids, they've done nothing newsworthy ... they broke up.

The moment when I KNEW it had gone 'round the bend ... the anchorwoman used the term "Vaughn-iston". God save us.

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Sorry for the incredibly long breaks between updates around here. I've been trying to get a lot accomplished before my surgery next week. I've done all my gift-shopping, I've decorated the castle, and I've done a lot of "getting rid of". I've donated a ton of stuff to local charity, and organized drawers and closets. Feels really good!

Jimmy has taken on the job of painting ... gotta save those dollars for motorcycle stuff, ya know. So, 2 months later, one bedroom is done. He hasn't realized it yet, but he'll finish a 2nd one before our Christmas guests arrive. It took awhile, but I think I've resigned myself to the fact that this will take forever, and I won't get my new carpet for another 5 years or so, if things continue at this rate. But he does do a really good job with the painting. He's just slower than molasses on a winter day.

He also complicates things for himself. The other night, he was in the attic, putting the insulation over the attic fan. And then all of a sudden, there was a huge hole in the ceiling with his ass (or some other body part, I don't know) sticking through. I wanted to cry ... it feels like our house will NEVER look they way I want it to, and now the ceiling in the hallway is gone. But I took a deep breath, swallowed hard, and accepted the fact that, even though it will take MONTHS, he WILL repair it. (I've made myself get tears in my eyes now, just typing that. ARRRRGHHHHHH I want a nice house!!!!)

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Went to Clemson yesterday to help Em get her stuff packed up. We worked all afternoon, and ended up with a couple garbage bags full of trash, 4 garbage bags for charity donation, and my car loaded down with the stuff she's moving back home with. The only belongings left in her apartment are a bed, a bookshelf, 2 TV stands, a bedside table, and a floor lamp. We'll go down at some point on Saturday to get that.

After we worked, we went to dinner with Jud in Anderson and had a quick, but very nice visit. I got to meet Allie, the cutest puppy EVER. She even showed me the tricks she's learned ... she can play dead, roll over, and shake already! She's precious.

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So anyway ... today I have 2 pre-op appointments ... one at the hospital, and one with the gynecologist. Surgery is set for Wednesday at 8 AM. I've got a trillion things to do between now and then. Wish me luck.

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Rest in peace, little Beamer. Thanks for all the smiles you brought to my face over the last several years, buddy. Laura and Melody, I love you both ... and wish I could ease your pain.